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46. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Monday, October 16th, 1:00pm
Captain Longsight (and Zoey)

 

Captain Longsight sits at the window. Zoey takes the seat beside him.

Captain Longsight: (pulls binoculars from bag and peers through them out the window) Holy Shamoly!

Zoey: What?

Captain Longsight: There’s a crime going on down that sidestreet!

Zoey: (holds hand out for the binoculars) Can I see?

Captain Longsight: There’s no way you can see it.

Zoey: Why not? The bus isn’t going anywhere.

Captain Longsight: It’s not that. It’s just I have amazing powers of being able to see long distances.

Zoey: (laughs) Of course you can. You have binoculars.

Captain Longsight: Oh these? (holds up binoculars) These don’t matter. I’m Captain Longsight. I was born with extraordinary powers of farsightedness.

Zoey: Soo … why do you carry binoculars?

Captain Longsight: Well … You wouldn’t understand.

Zoey: Try me.

Captain Longsight: They were a gift.

Zoey: Kinda like your gift of farsightedness?

Captain Longsight: N0! Like a birthday gift.

Zoey: Huh. So, Captain Longsight, do you fight crime with your superpowers?

Captain Longsight: (pulls cell phone out of pocket and smiles) I call the cops!

Zoey: Hooray. (changes seats)

 

Next stop: Tuesday, October 17th, 2:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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45. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Sunday, October 15th, 9:00pm
Jim and Katrina

 

Katrina: (puts her head on Jim’s shoulder) Did you hear that couple on the way out of the theatre?

Jim: (reaches for her hand) The ones who were arguing?

Katrina: Can you imagine? I mean, they were obviously married.

Jim: They seemed to know everything about one another, the way they were fighting.

Katrina: But they were just … ON each other …

Jim: … the whole time …

Katrina: … even before they came out of the theatre I think I could …

Jim: … hear them behind us bitching at each other.

Katrina: (squeezes his hand) We’re never going to fight.

Jim: Never.

 

Next stop: Monday, October 16th, 1:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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44. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Saturday, October 14th, 8:00pm
Edward (and The Darkness)

 

Edward sits at the window. The Darkness takes the seat beside him.

Edward: (sniffs and turns to The Darkness) Who the hell are you?

The Darkness: I am The Darkness

Edward: No you’re not. I am the darkness.

The Darkness: I am The Darkness.

Edward: No, I am the darkness.

The Darkness: I AM THE DARKNESS!!

Edward: (hisses, showing plastic fangs) I AM THE DARKNESS!!

Both get kicked off the bus.

 

Next stop: Sunday, October 15th, 9:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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43. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Adult theme.

Friday, October 13th, 9:00pm
Drommen (and Candice)

 

Drommen sits at the window. Candice takes the seat beside him.

Drommen: (smiles) Hello.

Candice: Hi.

Drommen: Nice night out.

Candice: Yep.

Drommen: Mind if I masturbate?

Candice: Go for it.

Drommen: (raises eyebrows) Seriously?

Candice: Go right ahead. But don’t expect me to watch.

Drommen: (frowns) You won’t watch? Why not?

Candice: Okay, fine. But it’ll cost you.

Drommen: How much?

Candice: (regards him closely) You’re a good-looking guy. Fifty bucks.

Drommen: Are you a prostitute?

Candice: Nope.

Drommen: Then how can you charge me fifty bucks?

Candice: How can you ask me in the first place?

Drommen snorts and slouches in his seat, crossing his arms over his chest.

 

 

Next stop: Saturday, October 14th, 8:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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42. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Thursday, October 12th, 2:00pm
Hank and Bill

 

Hank: You know, Bob …

Bill: It’s Bill.

Hank: You know, Bill, there’s only just so much a man can take in this world. Now I know, ye gets your ups, and ye gets your downs, but ye can’t just let people walk all over you. Take Morty for example.

Bill: You mean Mike?

Hank: Morty, Mike, whatever. He just lost a whole lotta dough, and because what?

Hank looks at Bill. Bill opens his mouth to answer.

Hank: That’s right. Because the Man’s bringin’ him down. And you know who the Man is, right Bob?

Bill: The corporations?

Hank: (slaps Bill’s knee) You got ‘er, Bob! Those damned corporations. What we’ve gotta do, Bob, is break free! Break free, I tell ye. Go out on our own and make the millions o’ dollars that we’re entitled to.

Bill: So … what’s that got to do with me?

Hank: (regards him with pity in his eyes) You still don’t know, do ye Bob.

Bill shakes his head.

Hank: You’re gonna thank me, Bob. ‘Coz when I tell you what I’ve come to figure out over years of hard work and dedication … Let’s just say the Lord is shinin’ a light down on you today. (looks up) Oh! Here’s my stop. (pats Bill on the shoulder) Next time maybe. See ye later, Bob.

Hank gets off the bus.

 

 

Next stop: Friday, October 13th, 9:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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41. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Wednesday, October 11th, 4:00pm
Michael (and Agatha)

 

Michael sits at the window, reading. Agatha takes the seat beside him.

Agatha: Hello.

Michael glances away from his iPad and smiles.

Agatha: I’m going to my granddaughter’s house for dinner. (gestures to a dish on her lap) I’m bringing the bread pudding.

Michael: (mumbles without looking up) That’s nice.

Agatha: My great-granddaughter Kitty will be there. Such a precious thing she is, though the clothes she wears! I don’t know what children are thinking these days. What’s that thing you’re holding?

Michael: This? It’s an iPad.

Agatha: (sighs) All these newfangled gadgets. Why, in my day we used to read things like newspapers and books. We wore things that covered us up and we baked our own bread pudding!

Michael shrugs and stares at his iPad.

Agatha: (after a few minutes) I’m going to my granddaughter’s house for dinner.

Michael: (rolls eyes) And I bet you’re taking bread pudding.

Agatha: How did you know?

Michael: Lucky guess.

 

Next stop: Thursday, October 12th, 2:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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40. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language, adult theme

Tuesday, October 10th, 3:00pm
Madigan and Barb

 

Barb: I caught him.

Madigan: Caught who doing what?

Barb: Ken. He’s definitely fooling around on me.

Madigan: (stares at her) What … makes you say that?

Barb: Lipstick. On his collar.

Madigan: No way!

Barb: Yep. Blood red. Who wears a colour like that anyway?

Madigan: (frowns) Not me.

Barb: Pfft. Some floosy. She’d have to be, to fool around with a married man. A real slut. One with no self-respect. Oh God, do you think she’s got a disease?

Madigan: I hope not!

Barb: Oh Maddie, what am I going to do? You know I hate confrontations. They’re so … belittling. Would you to talk to him?

Madigan: Me?!

Barb: You’re my sister. I trust you. Will you give him shit for me? Please?

Madigan: I’d love to give him shit. But shouldn’t you be the one to talk to him? You’re his wife after all. Anyway, I might slug him one.

Barb: You’re probably right. (sighs) Sometimes I envy you. Having none of this crap to worry about. Nobody fools around on you – you don’t have anybody.

Madigan: (snorts, turns to the window and mumbles) Not anymore.

 

Next stop: Wednesday, October 11th, 4:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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39. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Monday, October 9th, 5:00pm
Quinn and Yvonne

 

Yvonne: I hope you don’t think I’m going to talk to you tonight.

Quinn: I don’t expect …

Yvonne: Of course not. That’s why we’re going to a restaurant instead of staying home for Thanksgiving dinner.

Quinn: But you …

Yvonne: I know. I know I burned the turkey last year. You don’t have to rub it in. I was willing to try again but nooo, we have to go to a restaurant because you don’t trust me! Admit it!

Quinn: I …

Yvonne: Don’t talk to me. I’m not talking to you.

Quinn looks out the window.

Yvonne: Don’t pout.

Quinn: I’m not …

Yvonne: Yes you are. I can tell by the way you’re looking out the window.

Quinn: What the …

Yvonne: (holds up palm) Don’t talk to me. And don’t pout. Let’s just get there and get this over with.

Quinn: (looks up to the front of the bus) It’s …

Yvonne: What part of “don’t talk to me” didn’t you understand?

Quinn: But …

Yvonne: Ugh! I’ve had enough of this. I’m walking the rest of the way. (gets up)

Quinn: (calls to her as she’s walking down the aisle) You’ll have to anyway! We just passed the stop!

 

Next stop: Tuesday, October 10th, 3:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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38. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Sunday, October 8th, 2:00pm
Drommen (and Bev, Darla and Vicki)

 

Drommen sits at the window. Bev takes the seat beside him, and Darla and Vicki sit down behind them.

Drommen: (smiling at Bev) Hello.

Bev smiles and nods.

Drommen: Mind if I masturbate?

Bev: Pardon?

Darla: (leans forward and says loudly) I think he said “Jersey is the Garden State.”

Vicki: (leans forward and says loudly) I thought he said “Rogers gives a rebate.”

Bev: (loudly) Really? A rebate on what? (turns to talk to Darla and Vicki) I was just saying to Sue the other day, I need a new iPhone …

Drommen slouches in his seat, arms crossed, and looks out the window.

 

 

Next stop: Monday, October 9th, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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37. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Saturday, October 7th, 9:00pm
Holly (and Edward)

 

Holly sits at the window, staring out. Edward takes the seat beside her.

Edward: Hi.

Holly starts crying.

Edward: Are you okay?

Holly: (sobbing) My boyfriend left me!

Edward: That bastard!

Holly: I know! And I’m pregnant! And my husband is going to kill me!

Edward: (raises an eyebrow dramatically) Your husband?

Holly: Yes! What am I going to do? My husband is going to know it’s not his!

Edward: I can take him out.

Holly: (wipes her eyes and takes her first good look at him) What do you mean, “take him out”? Who the hell are you?

Edward: I’m Edward. I mean take care of him. You know … (hisses, showing his plastic fangs)

Holly frowns and stares at him silently.

Edward: Is your husband home now?

Holly: (stares for a moment longer, considering) Actually there’s this guy named Joel…

 

Next stop: Sunday, October 8th, 2:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.