Life in progress

Tag Archives: short fiction


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275. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language.

Saturday, June 2nd, 8:00pm
Hillary (and Sean)

 

Hillary sits at the window, looking at an iPad. Sean takes the seat beside her.

Sean: Whatcha got there?

Hillary: Jake gave it to me.

Sean: Ooooh, things are escalating. He found out what a great cocksucker you are, huh?

Hillary: Why do you have to be so crude? And no, I didn’t suck his cock. He just gave it to me ‘coz he likes me.

Sean: He’s expecting it though. No guy gives things away without expecting something in return.

Hillary: No, that’s just you.

Sean: Pfft. Wait and see.

Hillary: No YOU wait and see. Jake’s a gentleman. You’re just a dick.

Sean: HA! A gentleman who plays with himself on the bus. HA!

Hillary: Shut up. He doesn’t do that anymore.

Sean: That’s what you think.

 

Next stop: Sunday, June 3rd, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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274. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language

Friday, June 1st, 9:00pm
Bella and Alice (and Edward)

 

Bella: You know who we haven’t seen in a while?

Alice: Who?

Bella: Edward.

Edward: (pops up in the seat behind, making Bella and Alice jump) Hello!

Alice: Speak of the devil.

Edward: (to Bella) You conjured?

Bella: Now that you’re here, you can go away.

Edward: I’ve missed you, Bella.

Alice: She hasn’t missed you.

Edward: (to Bella) I have a new job. (smiles, exposing fake fangs) I’m rich now.

Bella: Ooooh, that makes me want you even more!

Edward: It does?

Bella: No. Go away.

Edward: You hurt me to the core. But one day, my love, we’ll be together.

Alice: No you won’t.

Edward: (to Bella, whispering) Forever.

Bella: Look, idiot, you’re not getting the message. I. Don’t. Want. To. Date. You.

Edward: You don’t have to date me. Just be my bride.

Bella: Yeah, like that’s gonna happen.

Edward: It will. Mark my words.

Alice: I’ll mark your forehead with “loser” if you don’t fucking get lost.

Edward: (smiles) You’ll see me again. Soon.

Edward gets off the bus.

Bella: Think he’s ever going to give up?

Alice: (shrugs) Guys like that always do eventually.

 

Next stop: Saturday, June 2nd, 8:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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273. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Thursday, May 31st, 10:00am
April and May

 

May: (pointing out the window) Isn’t that June?

April: (looks over May’s shoulder) Is it?

May: I think it is. I wasn’t expecting her ’til tomorrow.

April: Probably not her then.

May: (sits back) Huh. So what are your plans?

April: (shrugs) I shouldn’t even be here.

May: True. What do you say we go on holiday?

April: Sure! We’ll come back when Robin does.

May: Here’s hoping. For you, at least.

 

Next stop: Friday, June 1st, 9:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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272. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Wednesday, May 30th, 5:00pm
Hera and Willa

 

Hera: It doesn’t fit, I tell you!

Willa: But I had it made to fit. What are we going to do?

Hera: I don’t know! Take it back and see if they can fix it?

Willa: But we’re going the wrong way.

Hera: You should have checked before you left the store.

Willa: How can I check something like that?

Hera: I don’t know. By comparison?

Willa: I had nothing to compare it to when I picked it up.

Hera: Oh well. We’ll have to wait ’til tomorrow now.

Willa: So where are we going to sleep?

Hera: (shrugs) I have a spare.

Willa: (huffs in anger) Do you mean to tell me that all this time you had a spare key, and you made me feel like a failure for getting a new one cut wrong?

Hera: You remember that time you locked me out because you wanted to be alone with your boyfriend?

Willa: Never gonna live that one down, am I?

Hera: No way.

 

Next stop: Thursday, May 31st, 10:00am

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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271. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Tuesday, May 29th, 5:00pm
Jules and Francis

 

Jules: I feel like I’ve forgotten something.

Francis: You’ve got your wallet?

Jules: Check.

Francis: Your phone?

Jules: Check.

Francis: Your keys?

Jules: Check.

Francis: What else could you have forgotten?

Jules: What else would one need when taking the dog to the vet?

They stare at each other, stunned.

Both: The dog!

 

Next stop: Wednesday, May 30th, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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270. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Monday, May 28th, 5:00pm
Jules and Francis

 

Jules: This is so far below me.

Francis: It’s a bus: a glorified limo.

Jules: With people I don’t know in it!

Francis: So … meet them!

Jules: (stands) Hello, fellow travellers! I’m Jules!

Jules waits for a response for a few moments.

Jules: (sits) They’re all mute.

 

Next stop: Tuesday, May 29th, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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269. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Sunday, May 27th, 9:00am
Gary and Danielle

 

Gary: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs who swims?

Danielle: Bob.

Gary: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs who water skis?

Danielle: Skip.

Gary: What do you call a dog with no legs?

Danielle: Doesn’t matter. He won’t come to you anyway.

Gary: What’s the biggest advantage of being a test-tube baby?

Danielle: You get a womb with a view.

Gary: You’re a real know-it-all, aren’t you?

Danielle: Yep.

Gary: I need new friends.

Danielle: What you need is jokes less than 30 years old.

Gary: Touché

 

Next stop: Monday, May 28th, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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268. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Saturday, May 26th, 4:00pm
Crystal and Jasmine

 

Crystal: So I’m, like, sitting in the coffee shop minding my own business, right?

Jasmine: Uh huh.

Crystal: And this guy comes up to me and asks me if he can sit down and I’m, like, ‘there’s plenty of other seats in here’ and he’s, like, ‘well I thought I could sit with you. You’re really pretty.’

Jasmine: No. Way. So what did you do?

Crystal: Like, exactly what anyone would do. I threw my coffee at him.

Jasmine: I hope it was hot.

Crystal: (smiles) Straight out of the steamer.

Jasmine: Serves him right.

Crystal: Right? Oh my God. Some people.

 

Next stop: Sunday, May 27th, 9:00am

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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267. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Adult theme

Friday, May 25th, 6:00pm
Drommen (and Yolanda)

 

Drommen sits at the window. Yolanda takes the seat beside him.

Drommen: Nice day.

Yolanda: It sure is.

Drommen: Do you mind if I masturbate?

Yolanda: You gonna make it worth my while?

Drommen: I think I can do that. (begins to undo fly)

Yolanda: Coz if you’re not going to make it worth my while, you can forget it.

Drommen:  (pauses) What … do you mean worth your while?

Yolanda: I got score cards.

Drommen: You have score cards? Like figure skating score cards?

Yolanda: Yeah, but they’re score cards for guys who play with themselves on the bus.

Drommen stares, speechless.

Yolanda: Come on. Let’s see what you got.

Drommen: Never mind.

 

Next stop: Saturday, May 26th, 4:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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266. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Thursday, May 24th, 4:00pm
Drew (and Sean)

 

Drew sits at the window. Sean takes the seat beside him.

Drew: Have you ever wondered at the delicacy of the connection we have with society on the world wide web?

Sean: No.

Drew: Think about it. We’ve become so reliant on this service, this technology. And yet it is what it is: a web. Strong and yet so precarious. We stomp along the spokes, hopping around what is essentially the world, and yet what if it should break?

Sean: Snail mail?

Drew: Indeed. You’re very smart, young man. Where do you get all that intellectual prowess from?

Sean: (shrugs) I saw a street address on the back of a cereal box once, for people who don’t have the internet.

Drew: Really?

Sean: Count Chocula, I think.

Drew: Fascinating.

 

Next stop: Friday, May 25th, 6:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.