Drommen sits at the window. A light shines on him from above and he stands and addresses the audience.
Drommen:Hello. (steps into the aisle, resting a hand on the back of the seat) What if none of this is real. What if I am just the fantasy of a writer. An author in a crisis of identity. What would the outcome be.
Drommen takes a seat and stares out the window as the overhead light dims. Holly approaches.
Holly: Hey! How are you? Long time no see!
Drommen:(looks up and smiles) Well, hi there. Have a seat.
Holly:(sits) How have you been?
Drommen: Oh, not bad. My sister Francine moved in with me, but apart from that nothing much is new. How about you?
Holly: Everything’s great! The baby is due in a few months. No sign of Mr. Fangs or my ex, so things are fantastic. And I’ve got you to thank for it. (nudges him) So what was it you wanted to show me last time?
Drommen:(frowns) I was going to ask you if you’d mind if I masturbate.
Holly: (smiles) Go ahead! I’d love to watch.
Drommen: But now I’m a little reluctant.
Holly: Why is that?
Drommen: Well you see, I’ve got all these other people watching now, and I’m not sure I can do it.
Holly: Performance anxiety?
Drommen: Precisely.
Holly freezes. A light shines from above and Drommen stands and addresses the audience.
Drommen: And there you have it. I’m Jake Drommen, and this is the Bus Stop Zone.
Saturday, January 13th, 8:00pm
Drommen (and Andrea)
Drommen sits at the window. Andrea takes the seat beside him.
Drommen: Good evening.
Andrea: Hey, I know you. We, like, sat together before. How you been doing?
Drommen: Not bad thanks, and you?
Andrea: (sighs) I’m so in love.
Drommen: Good for you!
Andrea: Not really. I, like, met him at New Year’s? And I haven’t seen him since. I was hoping I’d find him on the bus. That’s where I met him the first time. You meet some, like, really interesting people on the bus.
Drommen: That’s true.
Andrea: Anyways, I don’t suppose you’ve seen him? He’s pretty tall, skinny, and, like, drop-dead gorgeous, and he has really sharp fangs.
Drommen: Were you drunk on New Year’s Eve by any chance?
Morris sits at the window. Andrea takes the seat beside him.
Morris: Ugh.
Andrea: Excuse me?
Morris: I still don’t have my Christmas shopping done.
Andrea: And this concerns me how, exactly?
Morris: It doesn’t. I just wanted to …
Andrea: Why does everyone on this freakin’ bus want to tell me their problems? Like, I can’t get a minute’s peace on this freakin’, fucking bus! First I’ve got people flashing me, spitting at me, telling me their problems …
Morris: I’d watch it, if I were you. I’m Santa.
Andrea:(stares at him) You’re what now?
Morris: Santa Claus. And with a mouth like that, you’re not likely to find anything in your stocking, young lady.
Andrea:(frowns) Wait. Didn’t you just say you haven’t finished your Christmas shopping? Doesn’t Santa MAKE the toys?
Morris: No, the elves do that. I have to go out and buy all the supplies.
Andrea: You’re fucking crazy.
Morris: (shaking his head, mumbles) Whatever is the world coming to?
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