Life in progress

Yearly Archives: 2018


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One-Liner Wednesday – You Know You’ve Made It

You know you’ve made it when the bookstore pays you. Go me!

Cheque to reimburse me for the books I sold at my book signing in October, 2017

If you would like to participate in this prompt, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a pingback from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our very cool badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

#1linerWeds badge by Dan Antion

 


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159. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Tuesday, February 6th, 3:00 2:00pm
Maurice and Stuart

 

(Stuart sits at the window. Maurice takes the seat beside him.)

Maurice: Hey! You’re early for once.

Stuart: Yep. Gotta go buy a new rug before work.

Maurice: Cat peed on it one too many times?

Stuart: Nope. Dog bled all over it.

Maurice: You’ve got a dog now?

Stuart: Not only that. You remember the old lady whose dog I accidentally killed?

Maurice: The one whose next dog ran away, and who’s deathly allergic to cats?

Stuart: That’s right. She’s living with me now too.

Maurice: But … why? And how is she living with you if you’ve got a cat?

Stuart: As for why, she spent so long in the hospital that she missed paying her rent and got kicked out. So I offered to take her in.

Maurice: And the cat?

Stuart: Shaved it.

Maurice: The cat mustn’t have enjoyed that.

Stuart: Nope. It looks like a giant bald squirrel.

Maurice: So what happened to the dog? You said it bled all over your rug.

Stuart: Well yeah. The dog took one look at the cat after we shaved it and thought it was a squirrel. Dog tried to eat the cat, cat scratched the dog.

Maurice: Wow. That must have been one hell of a scratch to make the dog bleed like that.

Stuart: Well, yeah. Because we shaved the dog too.

Maurice: The old lady’s not allergic to dogs though. She had one before.

Stuart: Nope. I am.

Maurice: The two of you are a match made in heaven.

 

Next stop: Wednesday, February 7th, 7:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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158. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Monday, February 5th, 5:00pm
Alfred and Hester

 

Hester: When does the urologist want you to go back for the test?

Alfred: How should I know?

Hester: The receptionist gave you the little card, didn’t she?

Alfred digs into his coat pocket and pulls out an appointment card.

Hester: Give it to me then. (adjusts glasses) It’s in two weeks. A “flow test.” What the hell is one of them then?

Alfred: I don’t know. Maybe they want to see if I do better at getting it up with your sister.

 

Next stop: Tuesday, February 6th, 3:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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#LOVEISINDABLOG2018 – Devotion

I was both surprised and happy to find that my friend Bee is hosting her February prompt, Love Is In Da Blog again this year! If you’re looking for prompts, check out her blog here!

When I think about the word “devotion,” my mind immediately goes to single-minded love and romance. But then, Merriam-Webster dictionary actually states this:

obsolete : the object of one’s devotion

Who knew this definition was obsolete?

Yet it’s true, the term is much broader than that. I’m devoted to my kids–all three of them. I’m devoted to my friends, both offline and on. I’m devoted to my writing, my career in editing, and my blog. I’m devoted to caring for my dog … the cat slightly less, because perhaps he’s less devoted to me. That, and he’s not my cat. He’s my son’s and will move with him if he ever moves out.

Which begs the question is it possible to be devoted to someone (or something) that’s not devoted back? Absolutely. That can get rather frustrating, though, in a “but why are you leaving me” sort of way. In the case of the kids, that’s usually inevitable.

Do we throw the word devotion around too liberally? Perhaps. Makes you think about what you’re truly devoted to though, doesn’t it?

Be sure to check out Bee’s prompt a the following link, and join in today! https://beehalton.com/abc-of-love-prompt-5-devotion-loveisindablog2018/writing/blog-events/love-is-in-da-blog/love-is-in-da-blog-2018


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157. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right (#SoCS edition)

Sunday, February 4th, 3:00am
Moosh and Hip

 

Moosh: Where are we going again?

Hip: Nowhere.

Moosh: In other words, we’re just going around in circles.

Hip: It’s an experiment.

Moosh: To see how long it takes to get kicked off the bus?

Hip: Exactly.

Moosh: And what if we get kicked off when we’re miles away from home?

Hip: (shrugs) We’ll wait and catch the next bus.

Moosh: But you know it’s going to be the same bus driver. He’s not going to let us back on again.

Hip: Oh. I didn’t think of that. We’ll just have to walk home then.

Moosh: We can’t walk. You’re broken.

Hip: You’ve got crutches.

Moosh: They’re not for walking miles with.

Hip: …

Moosh: (rolls eyes) That’s what I get for having hip for brains.

 

Next stop: Monday, February 5th, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.

This post is part of Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click here to join in! https://lindaghill.com/2018/02/02/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-feb-3-18/


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156. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language

Saturday, February 3rd, 6:00pm
Michelle (and Sean)

 

Michelle sits at the window, sleeping. Sean takes the seat beside her.

Michelle: (waking up) What the fuck … Where am I?

Sean: Just passed Main Street.

Michelle: (sits up abruptly) Main Street? Shit! I was supposed to get off at Front Street. My mom’s going to kill me! Time is it?

Sean: Ten o’clock.

Michelle: Ten!? I’ve been sleeping for four fucking hours?

Sean: (chuckles) It’s only six. And Front Street’s just up ahead.

Michelle: You’re an asshole, you know that?

Sean: (sighs) Yeah.

 

Next stop: Sunday, February 4th, 3:00am

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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#SoCS – To Do

My to-do list is once again way over the top. I find it much easier when that list is dominated by stuff I have to do for other people. When I promise someone I will, for instance, have their editing job done on a certain day, nine times out of ten I get it done early. I’m able to concentrate better when I have someone counting on me. I have discipline. When it’s only me counting on me, I have none.

At the moment I’m supposed to be working on three short stories (I have a deadline for two of them, but they’re not motivating me yet), one of which I’ve gone as far as creating a Word document and naming. Not a single word in the document itself. The other two I have great ideas for, but the deadline for the first is closer. As someone wise once said (Stephen King?) starting is the hardest part.

My excuse for not working on my novel is I’m waiting for a beta reader to get back to me. I could work on it anyway, but there’s this short story …

All in all it seems I’m the last person on my to-do list who has any clout. I love to make other people happy by getting their work done on time, but me–meh. I’m not that important. I need to find a way to change that. And I need to find a way to stop procrastinating. In other words, I need to get off my ass and do things for me.

Suggestions on how to do that are welcome.

This post (that I managed to write, despite procrastinating) is brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click the link to find the other entries in the comment section, and join in today! https://lindaghill.com/2018/02/02/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-feb-3-18/


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155. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Adult theme

Friday, February 2nd, 9:00pm
Drommen (and Gordon)

 

Drommen sits at the window. Gordon takes the seat beside him.

Drommen: Nice dress.

Gordon nods.

Drommen: Going out somewhere fancy?

Gordon smiles and nods.

Drommen: Do you mind if I masturbate?

Gordon: You know I’m a guy, right?

Drommen: Sssure …? Sure I did. Do. I mean.

Gordon: So you don’t care if I’m a guy?

Drommen: Not really. But if it bothers you, just say so.

Gordon: I think it should bother you that you’re even asking.

Drommen: It should bother me? What’s your deal? Does it bother you that you’re wearing a dress?

Gordon: Do I look bothered?

Drommen: Do I?

Gordon: (stares for a moment) This conversation is going nowhere.

Drommen: I agree. (turns to the window)

Gordon: (a moment later) So. Would you like to go to a costume party?

Drommen: What would I go as?

Gordon: A flasher? You’ve got the trench coat.

Drommen: (smiles) Works for me.

 

Next stop: Saturday, February 3rd, 6:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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The Destroyer Strikes Again

Okay, I didn’t actually destroy the computers at Service Ontario (where we renew our licenses and health cards), but I didn’t seem to do them any favours.

If you read my bloated one-liner on Wednesday (here), you’ll know that whilst out at the mall, not one but two computers in the stores I visited crapped out while I was there. Apparently my reign of terror was not over. It happened again. Yesterday.

Both my son Chris and I needed to renew our health cards. So we went into the office and sat to wait our turn, as you do. We were called up to Desk #6 (there are 9) and the lady started filling out the paperwork. When she tried to take Chris’s picture, it didn’t work. The camera was fine, but the computer wouldn’t capture the image. So she sent us to Desk #3.

A nice lady helped us through the process and got Chris all set. Then it was my turn. As she was processing my paperwork, the computer started glitching.

“Oh no,” I said and then explained to her what had happened at the mall.

She waved it off good-naturedly and suggested we take my picture while the computer was doing its thing.

“I’ll try not to break your camera,” I said as I stepped in front of it.

The lady thought that was hilarious, and we laughed until I had to do the serious face for my photo. Then came her serious face when the picture didn’t work. Her computer crashed.

“Okay,” she said. “I’ll just pass you off to my colleague at Desk #4.”

The other lady with whom she shared a workspace and who hadn’t been busy for a while said that if her camera worked, it wasn’t me, it was the lady she worked with who broke the computer.

So I stood in front of the camera again and we laughed and laughed, and I got serious, and then we all got serious. It didn’t work. At this point, three out of nine computers weren’t working.

So the lady at Desk #4 asked us to have a seat while she called IT. While we sat there (right by the desk), a man passed us to go to Desk #2. A woman was following him so closely, that I thought they were together. The man approached the desk but the woman stood back.

“You just called me to this desk,” she said, confused. It was obvious the two weren’t together at this point.

“Oh,” said the man behind Desk #2. “Sorry, just take a seat and we’ll call you up next. It happens sometimes that the computer calls two people up at the same time. Must be a glitch.”

Shortly after that we went back to Desk #4 and I got my confirmation that my renewal had gone through offsite. The lady’s computer still wasn’t working, but they’d done it somehow through another office. Obviously one where I wasn’t physically present.

I’m afraid to go out again.


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The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS Feb. 3/18

It’s Friday, and we’re back with our regular Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompts. I turned off my laptop last night thinking I’d write this post after Alex went to school in the morning, only to remember half an hour later that he has a day off today. He’s kept me busy, as he does, so that’s why this prompt is a bit late. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. Here’s your prompt:

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “in other words.” Use the phrase at least once in your post. Have fun!

After you’ve written your Saturday post tomorrow, please link it here at this week’s prompt page and check to make sure it’s here in the comments so others can find it and see your awesome Stream of Consciousness post. Anyone can join in!

To make your post more visible, use our new SoCS badge! Just paste it in your Saturday post so people browsing the reader will immediately know your post is stream of consciousness and/or pin it as a widget to your site to show you’re a participant. Wear it with pride!!

 

Here are the rules:

1. Your post must be stream of consciousness writing, meaning no editing, (typos can be fixed) and minimal planning on what you’re going to write.

2. Your post can be as long or as short as you want it to be. One sentence – one thousand words. Fact, fiction, poetry – it doesn’t matter. Just let the words carry you along until you’re ready to stop.

3. There will be a prompt every week. I will post the prompt here on my blog on Friday, along with a reminder for you to join in. The prompt will be one random thing, but it will not be a subject. For instance, I will not say “Write about dogs”; the prompt will be more like, “Make your first sentence a question,” “Begin with the word ‘The’,” or simply a single word to get your started.

4. Ping back! It’s important, so that I and other people can come and read your post! For example, in your post you can write “This post is part of SoCS:” and then copy and paste the URL found in your address bar at the top of this post into yours.  Your link will show up in my comments for everyone to see. The most recent pingbacks will be found at the top. NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, such as Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

5. Read at least one other person’s blog who has linked back their post. Even better, read everyone’s! If you’re the first person to link back, you can check back later, or go to the previous week, by following my category, “Stream of Consciousness Saturday,” which you’ll find right below the “Like” button on my post.

6. Copy and paste the rules (if you’d like to) in your post. The more people who join in, the more new bloggers you’ll meet and the bigger your community will get!

7. As a suggestion, tag your post “SoCS” and/or “#SoCS” for more exposure and more views.

8. Have fun!