Drew sits at the window. Zoey takes the seat beside him.
Drew:(points out the window) There is a bird in a tree.
Zoey: I’m sorry?
Drew: There is a bird in a tree … Or is the tree simply there for the bird?
Zoey: I think the bird …
Drew:(holds up a finger) You are going to say that because the bird moves and the tree does not, that the bird is the one who must be the subject, the one who provides the action, and the tree is merely awaiting the bird’s arrival. BUT! Does not the tree live longer?
Zoey:(nods slowly) It does …
Drew: So again, I ask, is the bird in the tree or does the tree exist for the bird?
As a tribute to Dan Antion, our outgoing-badge designer and guy who can’t write a one-liner to save his life, my own One-Liner Wednesday is going to go a bit long.
I was sitting on the couch tonight, minding my own business, when Winston started to whine. I looked up and saw him sitting in the middle of the floor looking down at nothing.
“What is it?” I asked him.
He gave me a pained look as if to say, If I could talk, I wouldn’t be sitting here crying.
So I went over to see what he was whining at. There was still nothing.
I asked him again, “What is it?”
And that’s when he pointed to something with his nose. I bent down to get a closer look, and low and behold there was an ant. It was a fair-sized one, and it was still very much alive.
I praised Winston for letting me know we had a bug in the house, and I went to get a tissue to scoop it up and get rid of it.
Why he didn’t just step on it or eat it I have no idea. But he did tell me about it.
Good dog, Winston!
Winston, my pointer-outer/smart dog/scaredy cat.
Cheers to Dan for his lovely badge! We’ll miss it! Thank you, Mr. Antion!
#1linerWeds badge by Dan Antion
If you would like to participate in this prompt, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.
NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.
As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a pingback from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.
Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”
The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:
1. Make it one sentence.
2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.
3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.
4. Add our very cool badge to your post for extra exposure!
Well, it’s that time of year again. Out with the old (but very well-loved!) and in with the new. Badge, that is.
And we have loved Dan Antion’s badge, haven’t we?
#1linerWeds badge by Dan Antion
Yes, we certainly have. Thank you one last time, Dan, for your lovely handiwork. ❤ Tomorrow will be our last One-Liner Wednesday with Dan’s badge.
For sure I am sad,
but there’s excitement to be had.
Because it’s time for a contest!! Would you like your badge to be shared every week for the next year by bloggers far and wide? Great! All you have to do is design it by Sunday night!
And hey, perhaps Dan will enter the contest again this year! It’s open to anyone with a blog.
Here are the guidelines for entry into the contest:
1. The design can be anything you want it to be, but it must include “One-Liner Wednesday” and your name and/or the name of your website.
2. Any pictures (art or photo) must be your own.
3. When you’re happy with your badge and you’re ready to share it, write a blog post on your own website and link back HERE in the comments, so voters can check it out. The deadline to do this is Sunday, May 20th, 11:59pm EST. All links included here by that time will be added to a poll.
4. All entries will be shared here on my blog on Monday, May 21st, 2018, along with the poll that will close the next day, Tuesday the 22nd.
5. The winner’s badge will be available for anyone who participates in One-Liner Wednesday to post permanently on their website as a widget and/or to embed in their weekly One-Liner Wednesday post.
6. One entry per person. The contest is open to anyone with an active blog, WordPress or otherwise (see #3 for entry requirements).
7, Poll results will not be available while the poll is open. If there is a tie, I will choose the winner myself.*
8. If I’ve missed anything, or if you have any questions, please ask in the comment section below.
9. Have fun!
So that’s it. Get out your paintbrushes and coloured pencils, your cameras, or whatever you generally art with and art away!
*I retain the right to refuse any badge that is distasteful, regardless of the number of votes it receives.
Tomorrow (Monday, May 14th) is the last day to enter the draw for my signed, misprinted copy of ON FIRE!
The winner will receive this beautiful anthology of toasty stories, released last year by Transmundane Press.
It would be awesome if you’d click this link and read the story of how I came about getting the book. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry … Okay, you might not cry. But it is a good story.
Or, you can just enter the draw here. The contest is open to mailing addresses in the United States and Canada only.
I have an earworm. The song “Smooth” by Santana and Rob Thomas came on the radio yesterday, and I haven’t been able to get it out of my head. My neighbours might have it in their heads too, since I had it turned up when I pulled into the driveway. It’s so random how some songs get stuck in my head and others are just meh. Whatever.
So summer’s coming, and that means it’s going to be time once again to be tempted by smoothies. The ones at Tim Horton’s with yogurt in them are sinfully delicious. I’d probably consume far more of them if they didn’t give me brain freeze. You know that feeling, right? When the cold goes through your soft palate and takes a grip on your grey matter like it’s being squeezed by a terrifying version of a snowman? Like the one in that movie with Michael Keaton … Jack Frost. Yeah, that’s the one. Scary. Zombie snowmen who hide in smoothies and eat brains. Wow, stream of consciousness … If I start adding food colouring and yummy fruity flavours to my snowmen next year, get me the hell out of there, would you?
Yeah, I’ll stick to Tim’s coffee from now on. Thanks.
I’ve totally forgotten the prompt at this point. Ah well. Or should I say baa humbug?
Shannon: No! Something like jumping off a cliff with a bungee cord wrapped around my ankle.
Terry: How about going to a movie?
Shannon: A movie? I’m talking about doing something exciting! Like taking a trip to a foreign country where I don’t know the language, and getting lost.
Terry: That’s fun?
Shannon: I think so.
Terry: We could go downtown and play in traffic …
Shannon:(glares at him) Don’t you have any sense of adventure?
