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342. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Wednesday, August 8th, 5:00pm
Lester (and Armand)

 

Lester sits at the window. Armand takes the seat beside him.

Lester: Hey, nice hip waders.

Armand: Bit wet out there.

Lester: (nods) I just seen a fish swim by outside.

Armand: Awesome. Mind opening the window a crack? (pulls a fishing rod out of a long canvas case) Save me going to the grocery store.

Lester: No problem there, bud. Not much out there other’n a stray catfish though. They gots pretty sharp claws I hear.

Armand: (shrugs) You take what you can get.

 

Next stop: Thursday, August 9th, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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341. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Tuesday, August 7th, 5:00 7:00pm
Maurice (and Stuart)

 

Maurice sits at the window. Stuart takes the seat beside him.

Maurice: Hey, buddy! Long time no see!

Stuart: Yep. Been out of town for a while. Lost my apartment after I lost my job.

Maurice: Oh no! How did that happen?

Stuart: Damned cat.

Maurice: The cat made you lose your job and your apartment?

Stuart: Yep. It got this really weird skin rash. I spent a week looking after it because the old lady I lived with was allergic to the cream it needed rubbed on its skin.

Maurice: So you lost your job ’cause you took a week off?

Stuart: Yep.

Maurice: And I guess then you couldn’t afford the apartment.

Stuart: Oh, no. I could still afford it. But the old lady discovered that breed of cats that don’t have hair and decided the original cat got its skin disease because it was lonely. Twenty-six of the little buggers later, there was no room left for me.

Maurice: How is the old lady affording the place by herself?

Stuart: She taught the cats a bunch of tricks. She’s got a circus going in the living room. Charges a bundle to let people watch.

Maurice: Sounds like living with that old lady’s always been a bit of a circus.

Stuart: You got that right.

 

Next stop: Wednesday, August 8th, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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339. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Sunday, August 5th, 1:00pm
Whitley (and Rachael)

 

Whitley sits at the window. Rachael takes the seat beside her.

Whitley: You know, you look very young for your age.

Rachael: Oh. Uh, thanks.

Whitney: How do you do it?

Rachael: Oil of Olay.

Whitley: Really?

Rachael: Every day. And the fact that I’m only twenty-one helps a bit.

Whitley: Oh. I thought you were much older than that.

 

Next stop: Monday, August 6th, 7:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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338. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Saturday, August 4th, 9:00pm
Edward and Lily

 

Edward: Why are you in such a bad mood?

Lily: Your psycho girlfriend stole my pet.

Edward: I couldn’t leave him with my Bella. They were getting too friendly. And anyway, she’s not my girlfriend. She’s just a psycho.

Lily: So now you get rid of the psycho AND you still have Bella locked up in my basement. What’s in it for me?

Edward: (thinks a moment) My undying gratitude?

Lily: (stares at him) Not good enough.

Edward: I did distract the cops that time. Doesn’t that count for anything?

Lily: No. You had way too much fun with it. (crosses arms and slouches) You get all the fun. All I get is the whiny, “You’ve got to let me go!” and, “I’ll do anything, just let me go!” all day while I’m trying to get my beauty rest.

Edward: (sits up straight) Anything? She said she’ll do anything?

Lily: (tiredly) Yeah.

Edward: Hmmm …

Lily: What are you thinking?

Edward: (hesitantly) Maybe she doesn’t really want to be with me.

Lily: No! You think?

Edward: Are you being sarcastic?

Lily: No! (rolls eyes)

Edward: Do you think we should let her go?

Lily: You’ll have to wipe out her memory first. You can do that though, right?

Edward hesitates, his eyes shifting back and forth.

Lily: Of course you can.

Edward continues to avoid the question.

Lily: Are you a vampire or not?

Edward: (affronted) Of course I am!

Lily: Then there’s no problem.

Edward: (uncertainly) Right.

 

Next stop: Sunday, August 5th, 1:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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337. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Friday, August 3rd, 8:00pm
Lacey (and The Darkness) (and Andrea)

 

Lacey sits at the window. The Darkness takes the seat beside her.

The Darkness: Hey baby. Want to get it on?

Lacey: (turns up lip) Who the hell are you?

The Darkness: (smiles) I am The Darkness.

Lacey: You’re the … Ohhhh!

Andrea boards the bus and approaches.

Andrea: Hey Lace! You met him! (sits on The Darkness’s lap) Isn’t he, like, great? (kisses him on the cheek)

Lacey: Yeaaah…

Andrea: Did he show you the new phrase I taught him?

Lacey: I’m not sure.

Andrea: (to The Darkness) Tell her what I showed you this morning.

The Darkness: Hey baby. Want …

Andrea: Not that one! The other one.

The Darkness: (smiles) Want some honey on your …

Andrea: NO! Not that one either. You know, the other one.

The Darkness: (thinks for a moment then realization dawns) How are you today?

Andrea: That’s it!

Andrea and The Darkness start making out. Lacey stares out the window.

 

Next stop: Saturday, August 4th, 9:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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336. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Thursday, August 2nd, 5:00pm
Drew (and Cletis)

 

Drew sits at the window. Cletis takes the seat beside him.

Drew: I think I’ve finally figured out why they call them “TV dinners.”

Cletis: Oh yeah?

Drew: Yes. The philosophy of having something so simple as to be able to cook it without any preparation ahead of time, allows one to watch television whilst awaiting a delicious meal with minimal effort.

Cletis: Huh. I thought it was ’cause when you stick ’em in the microwave you can watch them go around and around, just like you was watchin’ TV.

Drew: (thinks for a moment) It could be that too.

 

Next stop: Friday, August 3rd, 8:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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335. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Wednesday, August 1st, 5:00pm
Michael (and DeeDee)

 

Michael sits at the window, reading a book. DeeDee takes the seat beside him.

DeeDee: Excuse me.

Michael: (glances up) Oh God, not you again.

DeeDee: Yeah, me again. I’ve got something to ask you.

Michael: I’m not interested.

DeeDee: Oh, I think you will be.

Michael: I’m trying to read.

DeeDee: I can wait ’til you’re finished.

Michael: I’m only a quarter of the way into my book. Good luck.

DeeDee: That’s fine. I’ll count while I wait. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, ni…

Michael: (snaps the book closed) Okay, what do you want?

DeeDee: Did you know that peanut butter was first patented by a Canadian?

Michael: (stares at her) You interrupted my reading for that?

DeeDee: It’s something everyone should know.

Michael shakes his head and goes back to his book.

DeeDee: (singing) Peanut butter jelly time, peanut butter jelly time.

Michael: (closes his book) Do you hate me?

DeeDee: A little. (starts singing again)

 

Next stop: Thursday, August 2nd, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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334. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Tuesday, July 31st, 5:00pm
Zoey (and Frank)

 

Zoey sits at the window. Frank takes the seat beside her.

Frank: Excuse me.

Zoey: Yes?

Frank: Have you ever seen the sea?

Zoey: No indeed. I have not seen the sea.

Frank: Would you care to see the sea with me?

Zoey: No, I would not care to see the sea with thee.

Frank: Why not?

Zoey: It’s too far away.

Frank: Oh.

 

Next stop: Wednesday, August 1st, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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333. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Monday, July 30th, 5:00pm
Thelma (and Sean)

 

Thelma sits at the window. Sean takes the seat beside her.

Sean: Friggin’ hot out there today, man.

Thelma starts to cry.

Sean: What? What did I say?

Thelma: (digs a tissue out of her purse and blows her nose) Nothing. It’s not you. My acting coach just told me I’m not funny.

Sean laughs heartily.

Thelma: Stop it! Why are you laughing at me?

Sean: (settles down to a chuckle) Just trying to help.

Thelma: You’re an asshole.

Sean: I get that a lot.

 

Next stop: Tuesday, July 31st, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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332. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Sunday, July 29th, 11:00am
Andrea (and Lacey)

 

Andrea sits at the window. Lacey takes the seat beside her.

Lacey: Where …

Andrea: (holds finger up) Wait! Before you say anything I’ve, like, got to tell you about this weird friggin’ dream I had last night.

Lacey: Oh yeah?

Andrea: Yeah. I dreamt I was locked in a basement for a week and while I was there? I was with this, like, creepy gorgeous guy who only knew four words. We really hit it off though. By the time I woke up, I was in love. But the weirdest part? I got all these bite marks on my neck. Like, I don’t know where the hell they came from.

Lacey: A week you say?

Andrea: Yeah.

Lacey: Is that why you haven’t been at work for a week?

Andrea: (sits up straight) I haven’t what now?

Lacey: You’ve been totally missing for an entire week.

Andrea: No way! So it wasn’t a dream? (stands up) Excuse me.

Lacey: Where are you going? Harold’s going to be pissed if you miss any more work.

Andrea: Harold shmarold. I gotta find me some o’ my Honey Darkness!

 

Next stop: Monday, July 30th, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.