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345. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language

Saturday, August 11th, 8:00pm
Bella and Alice (and Lily)

 

Alice: Are you sure you’re okay to go out tonight?

Bella: Never better. Now that Edward is locked up.

Lily: (pops up in the seat behind them, making them jump) No he’s not.

Bella: (turns) What do you mean he’s not? I was there when they arrested him … You too! How did you get out?

Lily: We turned to smoke and slipped out through the bars.

Alice: You’re full of shit.

Bella pulls out her phone.

Lily: Who you gonna call?

Bella: Ghostbusters, who do you think? I’m calling the cops to come and get you.

Lily: (smiles, showing fake fangs) They’ll never catch me.

Alice: Fuckin’ right they will.

Lily disappears.

Bella: Where’d she go.

Both lean over the seat. Lily is crouched down on the floor.

Alice: What’s that, your version of smoke?

Lily hisses and reaches up to pull the cord for the bus to stop.

Bella: You’re not hiding from anyone.

Lily continues to crouch down, ignoring her.

Bella: (to Alice) Do you believe this? She actually thinks she’s invisible.

The bus stops.

Alice: (as Lily disembarks) Wanna follow her?

Bella: Nah. I know where she lives.

 

Next stop: Sunday, August 12th, 1:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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344. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Friday, August 10th, 7:00pm
Drommen and Francine

 

Francine: What will you do now that Hillary’s moved out?

Drommen: (shrugs) I dunno.

Francine: You could date her. I know you like her.

Drommen: I suppose. Now that Phillipa’s gone. Only …

Francine: Only you’d have to give up your hobby.

Drommen stares at her.

Francine: You think I don’t know what you do on the bus?

Drommen: It’s not something I really want to discuss with my sister.

Francine: Nevertheless. You should think about it. She’s worth it.

Drommen: I’ll think about it.

 

Next stop: Saturday, August 11th, 8:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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343. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Thursday, August 9th, 5:006:00pm
MoJo and JoJo

 

MoJo sits at the window. JoJo boards the bus.

JoJo: (standing in the aisle, points at MoJo) YOU!

MoJo: (points at himself) Who me?

JoJo: (shouting) Yes you! You killed my family. Now I will kill you!

MoJo: Dude, I didn’t kill your family!

JoJo: (approaches) You didn’t?

MoJo: No man. You need to stop watchin’ so many Kung Fu movies, Dude!

JoJo: (sits beside him) Huh. Maybe you’re right. What’ll we watch tonight then?

MoJo: (shrugs) Titanic?

JoJo: (smiles) Propeller guy! (holds up hand for high five)

MoJo: Sinkin’!

 

Next stop: Friday, August 10th, 7:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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342. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Wednesday, August 8th, 5:00pm
Lester (and Armand)

 

Lester sits at the window. Armand takes the seat beside him.

Lester: Hey, nice hip waders.

Armand: Bit wet out there.

Lester: (nods) I just seen a fish swim by outside.

Armand: Awesome. Mind opening the window a crack? (pulls a fishing rod out of a long canvas case) Save me going to the grocery store.

Lester: No problem there, bud. Not much out there other’n a stray catfish though. They gots pretty sharp claws I hear.

Armand: (shrugs) You take what you can get.

 

Next stop: Thursday, August 9th, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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341. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Tuesday, August 7th, 5:00 7:00pm
Maurice (and Stuart)

 

Maurice sits at the window. Stuart takes the seat beside him.

Maurice: Hey, buddy! Long time no see!

Stuart: Yep. Been out of town for a while. Lost my apartment after I lost my job.

Maurice: Oh no! How did that happen?

Stuart: Damned cat.

Maurice: The cat made you lose your job and your apartment?

Stuart: Yep. It got this really weird skin rash. I spent a week looking after it because the old lady I lived with was allergic to the cream it needed rubbed on its skin.

Maurice: So you lost your job ’cause you took a week off?

Stuart: Yep.

Maurice: And I guess then you couldn’t afford the apartment.

Stuart: Oh, no. I could still afford it. But the old lady discovered that breed of cats that don’t have hair and decided the original cat got its skin disease because it was lonely. Twenty-six of the little buggers later, there was no room left for me.

Maurice: How is the old lady affording the place by herself?

Stuart: She taught the cats a bunch of tricks. She’s got a circus going in the living room. Charges a bundle to let people watch.

Maurice: Sounds like living with that old lady’s always been a bit of a circus.

Stuart: You got that right.

 

Next stop: Wednesday, August 8th, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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340. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

 

Note: Strong language

Monday, August 6th, 7:00pm
Naomi and Jay

 

Naomi: I just want to get home and get drunk.

Jay: Do we have any booze left?

Naomi: What do you mean ‘do we have any booze left’? I bought a 40 ouncer and two mickeys yesterday.

Jay: Oh shit.

Naomi: No. You and your buddies didn’t drink it all last night.

Jay: I can get some more.

Naomi: No you can’t! It’s a holiday! The liquor store’s closed.

Jay: I’ll make it up to you. I swear.

Naomi: Fuckin’ right you will (hits him over the head with her purse) you fucking asshole! (hits him until he gets up)

Jay: (standing in the aisle) What do you want me to do?

Naomi: Go away! Get outta my sight! And stay outta my house!

Jay sits at the back of the bus.

 

Next stop: Tuesday, August 7th, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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339. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Sunday, August 5th, 1:00pm
Whitley (and Rachael)

 

Whitley sits at the window. Rachael takes the seat beside her.

Whitley: You know, you look very young for your age.

Rachael: Oh. Uh, thanks.

Whitney: How do you do it?

Rachael: Oil of Olay.

Whitley: Really?

Rachael: Every day. And the fact that I’m only twenty-one helps a bit.

Whitley: Oh. I thought you were much older than that.

 

Next stop: Monday, August 6th, 7:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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338. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Saturday, August 4th, 9:00pm
Edward and Lily

 

Edward: Why are you in such a bad mood?

Lily: Your psycho girlfriend stole my pet.

Edward: I couldn’t leave him with my Bella. They were getting too friendly. And anyway, she’s not my girlfriend. She’s just a psycho.

Lily: So now you get rid of the psycho AND you still have Bella locked up in my basement. What’s in it for me?

Edward: (thinks a moment) My undying gratitude?

Lily: (stares at him) Not good enough.

Edward: I did distract the cops that time. Doesn’t that count for anything?

Lily: No. You had way too much fun with it. (crosses arms and slouches) You get all the fun. All I get is the whiny, “You’ve got to let me go!” and, “I’ll do anything, just let me go!” all day while I’m trying to get my beauty rest.

Edward: (sits up straight) Anything? She said she’ll do anything?

Lily: (tiredly) Yeah.

Edward: Hmmm …

Lily: What are you thinking?

Edward: (hesitantly) Maybe she doesn’t really want to be with me.

Lily: No! You think?

Edward: Are you being sarcastic?

Lily: No! (rolls eyes)

Edward: Do you think we should let her go?

Lily: You’ll have to wipe out her memory first. You can do that though, right?

Edward hesitates, his eyes shifting back and forth.

Lily: Of course you can.

Edward continues to avoid the question.

Lily: Are you a vampire or not?

Edward: (affronted) Of course I am!

Lily: Then there’s no problem.

Edward: (uncertainly) Right.

 

Next stop: Sunday, August 5th, 1:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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337. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Friday, August 3rd, 8:00pm
Lacey (and The Darkness) (and Andrea)

 

Lacey sits at the window. The Darkness takes the seat beside her.

The Darkness: Hey baby. Want to get it on?

Lacey: (turns up lip) Who the hell are you?

The Darkness: (smiles) I am The Darkness.

Lacey: You’re the … Ohhhh!

Andrea boards the bus and approaches.

Andrea: Hey Lace! You met him! (sits on The Darkness’s lap) Isn’t he, like, great? (kisses him on the cheek)

Lacey: Yeaaah…

Andrea: Did he show you the new phrase I taught him?

Lacey: I’m not sure.

Andrea: (to The Darkness) Tell her what I showed you this morning.

The Darkness: Hey baby. Want …

Andrea: Not that one! The other one.

The Darkness: (smiles) Want some honey on your …

Andrea: NO! Not that one either. You know, the other one.

The Darkness: (thinks for a moment then realization dawns) How are you today?

Andrea: That’s it!

Andrea and The Darkness start making out. Lacey stares out the window.

 

Next stop: Saturday, August 4th, 9:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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336. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Thursday, August 2nd, 5:00pm
Drew (and Cletis)

 

Drew sits at the window. Cletis takes the seat beside him.

Drew: I think I’ve finally figured out why they call them “TV dinners.”

Cletis: Oh yeah?

Drew: Yes. The philosophy of having something so simple as to be able to cook it without any preparation ahead of time, allows one to watch television whilst awaiting a delicious meal with minimal effort.

Cletis: Huh. I thought it was ’cause when you stick ’em in the microwave you can watch them go around and around, just like you was watchin’ TV.

Drew: (thinks for a moment) It could be that too.

 

Next stop: Friday, August 3rd, 8:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.