Life in progress

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75. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Tuesday, November 14th, 5:00pm
Drommen (and Hillary) (and Sean)

 

Drommen sits at the window. Hillary takes the seat beside him.

Hillary: Hi Jake.

Drommen: Hi there, Jessica.

Hillary: You’ll never guess what I saw on the bus yesterday.

Drommen: What was it?

Hillary: A flasher.

Drommen: (frowning) A flasher? On my bus?

Hillary: Yep.

Drommen: How dare he! Flashing a young lady like you! What did you do?

Hillary: I laughed at him. He got off the bus.

Drommen: Huh.

Hillary: I’d heard about him before. A lady on here told me there’s a habitual flasher on the bus. She said his name is Drummin or something. That must have been him.

Drommen: No it wasn’t.

Hillary: (lifts an eyebrow) How are you so sure?

Drommen: Well … um … You said he just flashed you, right?

Hillary: Yeah.

Drommen: I heard this other guy is much more polite. He asks first.

Hillary: (laughing) A polite flasher? Now I’ve heard everything.

Drommen: It’s possible.

Hillary: Riiight. The day I see a polite flasher is the day I change my name to Hillary.

Sean gets on the bus.

Sean: (as he passes in the aisle) Hey, Hillary.

Drommen smiles.

 

Next stop: Wednesday, November 15th, 6:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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74. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Adult theme

Monday, November 13th, 7:00pm
Villem (and Andrea, Zoey, Donald, and Hillary)

 

Villem sits at the window. Andrea takes the seat beside him.

Villem: Afternoon.

Andrea: Good afternoon, what’s up?

Villem: Me. (exposes his penis)

Andrea: Ew! Ew! Ew! What is it with guys these days?

Andrea moves to another seat. Several stops later Zoey sits beside Villem.

Villem: Hey.

Zoey: Hey.

Villem: Look at this. (exposes himself)

Zoey: (stands and lifts her foot, then puts it back down) Oh what’s the use?

Zoey moves to another seat. Several stops later Donald sits beside Villem.

Villem: Nice evening.

Donald: Not really. I’m depressed.

Villem: Why’s that?

Donald: My wife just left me for another woman.

Villem: Another woman? You mean, you’re a woman?

Donald: (sighs) No, but apparently I’m gay too.

Villem: (smiles) Have I got a treat for you! (exposes his penis)

Donald: (stares for a moment) Nope. Does nothing for me. (sighs) This is so confusing.

Several stops later Donald gets off the bus, and Hillary sits beside Villem.

Villem: Well, hello there!

Hillary: (flatly) Hi.

Villem: I’d like to introduce you to Willie. (exposes his penis)

Hillary: Seriously? Is that all you got? (laughs hysterically)

Villem excuses himself and gets off the bus.

 

Next stop: Tuesday, November 14th, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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73. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language

Sunday, November 12th, 10:00am
Kyra and Jade

 

Kyra: I drank waaay too much last night.

Jade: Oh fuck, me too. I don’t remember nothin’. I woke up on the floor with Richie pretending to be asleep while he groped me.

Kyra: Prick. That’s not too bad. I woke up with your big fat tit in my face.

Jade: No way. Where the hell did we go? I remember walking to the bar.

Kyra: I kinda remember walking home. Next thing I knew I was sitting in some dude’s kitchen, watching him stitch up a cut in his arm. Fuckin’ fucked up.

Jade: I ain’t never drinking again.

Kyra: Me neither.

Jade: Too bad. Richie’s havin’ a party tonight.

Kyra: We gotta go.

Jade: Fuckin’ A.

 

Next stop: Monday, November 13th, 7:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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72. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Saturday, November 11th, 11:00am
All

 

The bus stops. The driver and all passengers observe a moment of silence in remembrance of the members of the armed forces who have died in the line of duty.

 

Next stop: Sunday, November 12th, 10:00am

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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71. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language

Friday, November 10th, 8:00pm
Bella and Alice (and Edward)

 

Bella: I hate coming on this bus. I’m just waiting for that creep with the teeth to show up again.

Alice: Well, he’s not here now. And even if he was, this place we’re going to is totally worth it.

Bella: I look okay? Do you like my earrings?

Alice: They’re so cute!

Bella: I just hope I can meet someone nice.

Alice: Believe me, there are TONS of single guys.

Edward: (pops up from behind them) Hello.

Bella and Alice jump forward on their seats.

Bella: Where the fuck did you come from?

Edward: I’ve been here all the time. I’m disappointed in you, Bella. You don’t need anyone but me.

Alice: (speaking as though to someone who doesn’t understand English) She. Doesn’t. Need. You. Now go away, and stop being so fuckin’ creepy.

Edward: (ignoring Alice) Bella don’t go with her. Come with me. I’ll show you what it’s like to really live.

Bella: Go away before I call the cops.

Edward: The police can’t hold me. I’m a vampire. (smiles, showing his plastic fangs)

Alice: (opens her bag) Where’s my can of mace?

Edward: (scoffs) Mace can’t hurt me.

Bella: Wait, I’ve got something better.

Bella pulls a clove of garlic out of her purse.

Edward: (eyes wide) NO! (runs for the door)

Alice: Nice one.

Bella: I was a Girl Scout.

 

Next stop: Saturday, November 11th, 11:00am

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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70. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language

Thursday, November 9th, 4:00pm
Betty and Karla

 

Betty: What do you want to do on your birthday.

Karla: (mumbling, looking at her cellphone) Whatever.

Betty: It’s coming up in two weeks. I know your dad wants to take you out for dinner.

Karla: (mumbling) Sure.

Betty: It’s important to him.

Karla: (mumbling) I know.

Betty: Would you please put that thing down and talk to me?

Karla: (snorts at something on the phone) Sure, just a sec.

Betty: Now!

Karla: Just wait.

Betty snatches the phone away.

Karla: What the fuck, Mom. I was reading something!

Betty: And I’m talking to you about your birthday!

Karla: Yeah whatever. I’ll go out for dinner. Now can you give me back my phone?

Betty: (hands the phone back) What about Saturday the 25th?

Karla: (mumbling, looking at her cellphone) Whatever.

 

Next stop: Friday, November 10th, 8:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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69. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Wednesday, November 8th, 4:00pm
Madigan and Missy

 

Missy: (speaking around the thumb in her mouth) Mom?

Madigan: Yes, sweetie?

Missy: Ith we moofing becuth of Uncu Ken?

Madigan: We’re just moving, that’s all.

Missy: Why aren we te-ing Uncu Ken?

Madigan: Take your thumb out of your mouth. We’re not telling Uncle Ken because he’ll try to tell us not to go.

Missy: Why doesn’t Uncle Ken want us to go?

Madigan: Because he loves us.

Missy: So why are we going?

Madigan: Because sometimes it’s just easier that way.

They sit quietly for a few minutes.

Missy: Mom?

Madigan: Yes, sweetie?

Missy: I think you need a hug.

 

Next stop: Thursday, November 9th, 4:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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68. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Tuesday, November 7th, 4:00pm
Mr. Big and Henry

 

Mr. Big: When is Heath meeting us?

Henry: Not until after eight. And then we’re off to Mars.

Mr. Big: Yep, the three Musketeers ride again.

Henry: To the Milky Way! Skor!!

Mr. Big: Seriously?

Henry snickers.

Mr. Big: Oh Henry …

 

Next stop: Wednesday, November 8th, 4:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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67. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Monday, November 6th, 8:00am
The Darkness (and Phil)

 

The Darkness sits at the window. Phil takes the aisle seat.

Phil: My car broke down. Again.

The Darkness glances at him and turns to look out the window.

Phil: I hate taking the bus. So many weirdos.

The Darkness snorts.

Phil: But at least now that the clocks have turned back, it’s not as dark in the morning.

The Darkness: (mumbles) I am The Darkness.

Phil: I know, right? So depressing in the morning when it’s dark out.

The Darkness: I am The Darkness.

Phil: I get it. So not looking forward to Christmas time. That’s when it’s REALLY dark in the morning.

The Darkness: I am The Darkness.

Phil stares at The Darkness.

The Darkness: I AM The Darkness! I AM THE DARKNESS!!!

The Darkness gets kicked off the bus.

 

Next stop: Tuesday, November 7th, 4:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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66. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Sunday, November 5th, 10:00am
Moses (and Hannah)

 

(Moses sits at the window. Hannah takes the seat behind him.)

Moses: (mumbling to himself and bouncing in his seat) Hurry up, hurry up.

Hannah: (taps him on the shoulder) Are you okay?

Moses: I’m going to be late for work!

Hannah: This bus only goes to the mall …

Moses: (eyes wide) Yeah! I know! I work at the mall.

Hannah: But it doesn’t open for another hour.

Moses: There was a time change last night! Didn’t you know? (mumbles) Stupid bitch.

Hannah: (frowning) Yes. I do know. I changed my clock.

Moses: (beside himself with agitation) Then why do you think the mall’s not open? How stupid are you?!

Hannah: (changes seats, mumbling) I’m smart enough to know what time of year it is.

 

Next stop: Monday, November 6th, 8:00am

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.