Life in progress

Tag Archives: vampire


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106. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Adult theme

Friday, December 15th, 8:00pm
Edward (and Lily)

 

Edward sits in the aisle seat. Lily takes a seat behind him.

Lily: (leaning forward) Hey, sexy, going my way?

Edward: (without turning) What a stupid question. We’re on a bus. (turns to her) Of course I’m go … (sniffs) Who are you?

Lily: (smiles, showing a mouthful of fake fangs) I’m the girl who’s going to make you happy.

Edward: (stands) No you’re not! I belong to Bella!

Lily: Okay! Okay! Calm down. Have a seat.

Edward sits and stares forward.

Lily: (leaning forward to speak in his ear) I bet Bella can’t give you what I can.

Edward: (meekly) Are you talking about eternal life?

Lily: No, I’m talking about really great head.

Edward stands, hisses at her showing his own fake fangs, and hurries to the door to dramatically wait to get off the bus.

 

 

Next stop: Saturday, December 16th, 4:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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102. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Adult theme

Monday, December 11th, 8:00pm
Drommen (and Lily)

 

Drommen sits by the window. Lily takes the seat beside him.

Drommen: (smiling) Hi there.

Lily: Hi.

Drommen: Nice night, isn’t it?

Lily: Yes it is, a very nice night.

Drommen: Do you mind if I masturbate?

Lily: (smiles, showing a mouthful of fake fangs) Go right ahead.

Drommen: Errr … Never mind.

Lily: Are you sure?

Drommen: Yeah. But I know someone you should meet.

 

Next stop: Tuesday, December 12th, 4:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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98. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Thursday, December 7th, 6:00pm
Lily (and Phil)

 

Lily sits at the window. Phil takes the seat beside her.

Lily: Hi.

Phil: (sighs) My car broke down.

Lily: Aww, that’s too bad.

Phil: Yeah. I’ve got to get rid of that piece of crap and get something new. I hate taking the bus.

Lily: I’ve got something for sale.

Phil: Yeah? Is it Japanese?

Lily: Nope. It’s all Transylvanian, baby. (smiles, running her tongue across her fake fangs)

Phil changes seats.

 

Next stop: Friday, December 8th, 9:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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92. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Adult theme

Friday, December 1st, 8:00pm
Lily (and Eric)

 

Lily sits at the window. Eric takes the seat beside her.

Lily: Hi.

Eric: Hello.

Lily: Are you nice?

Eric: I think so.

Lily: (giggles) I need a nice guy.

Eric: Errr … okay. I’m married.

Lily: Oh. That’s too bad. I was going to ask you if you wanted a blow job. (smiles, showing a mouthful of fake fangs)

Eric: (smiles warily) That’s okay. I’ll pass.

 

Next stop: Saturday, December 2nd, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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79. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Saturday, November 18th, 8:00pm
Drommen (and Edward)

 

Drommen sits at the window. Edward takes the seat beside him.

Drommen: What the hell are you doing back?

Edward: I’ve decided to forgive you.

Drommen: (laughs) You’re joking.

Edward: No. I’ve forgiven you because it’s obvious you’re not trying to kill me. Not like some people.

Drommen: I don’t want to kill you. I just want you and your plastic fangs and your sparkles off my bus.

Edward: (hisses, showing his plastic teeth) They’re not plastic. They’re all mine.

Drommen: I have no doubt they’re yours. Where’d you buy them from – Dollarama?

Edward: I got them from the dentist. After someone knocked my real fangs out.

Drommen: Your real fangs?

Edward: His name was van Helsing. Do you know him?

Drommen: Yeah, I know him. He was from Dracula.

Edward: Dracula? No way. Dracula was a myth. I’m the real thing.

Drommen: Pfft. You’re just a teeny-bopper wannabe.

Edward: I am not! Do you want me to bite your neck and prove it?

Drommen: (glares for a moment) You. Wouldn’t. Dare.

Edward stares, uncertain. He stands, holding the skirt of his trenchcoat up to cover the lower part of his face. He hisses, then runs to the door to dramatically wait for the next stop.

 

 

Next stop: Sunday, November 19th, 1:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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71. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language

Friday, November 10th, 8:00pm
Bella and Alice (and Edward)

 

Bella: I hate coming on this bus. I’m just waiting for that creep with the teeth to show up again.

Alice: Well, he’s not here now. And even if he was, this place we’re going to is totally worth it.

Bella: I look okay? Do you like my earrings?

Alice: They’re so cute!

Bella: I just hope I can meet someone nice.

Alice: Believe me, there are TONS of single guys.

Edward: (pops up from behind them) Hello.

Bella and Alice jump forward on their seats.

Bella: Where the fuck did you come from?

Edward: I’ve been here all the time. I’m disappointed in you, Bella. You don’t need anyone but me.

Alice: (speaking as though to someone who doesn’t understand English) She. Doesn’t. Need. You. Now go away, and stop being so fuckin’ creepy.

Edward: (ignoring Alice) Bella don’t go with her. Come with me. I’ll show you what it’s like to really live.

Bella: Go away before I call the cops.

Edward: The police can’t hold me. I’m a vampire. (smiles, showing his plastic fangs)

Alice: (opens her bag) Where’s my can of mace?

Edward: (scoffs) Mace can’t hurt me.

Bella: Wait, I’ve got something better.

Bella pulls a clove of garlic out of her purse.

Edward: (eyes wide) NO! (runs for the door)

Alice: Nice one.

Bella: I was a Girl Scout.

 

Next stop: Saturday, November 11th, 11:00am

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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60. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Monday, October 30th, 6:00pm
Drommen (and Edward)

 

Drommen sits by the window. He gestures to Edward to sit beside him.

Edward: What do you want?

Drommen: Hey, Sparkles. I have something that you don’t have.

Edward: You’ve got nothing I want!

Drommen: I bet I do.

Edward: You can’t possibly. I have everything I need. Tomorrow night is my night! I will roam the neighbourhoods with my own kind, take from virgins …

Drommen: You’re going to steal candy from little kids?

Edward hisses through plastic fangs.

Drommen: Okay, I get it. But I’ve still got something you don’t have.

Edward: (snorts) I don’t think so.

Drommen reaches into his pocket and pulls out a lunch bag with a pair of panties in it.

Edward: Whose are they?

Drommen: Bella’s. She gave them to me.

Edward: (eyes wide with shock) She did not!!

Drommen: She did. Here (he opens the bag a little) smell them.

Edward sticks in his nose, takes a big whiff, and sneezes, causing his teeth to shoot down the aisle.

Edward: PEPPER!

Drommen: (laughing) Who’s the darkness now?

Edward: CURSE YOU!! (stands) I’LL GET YOU FOR THIS, SWINE!!

Edward retrieves his teeth and gets off the bus.

 

Next stop: Tuesday, October 31st, 10:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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55. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Wednesday, October 25th, 7:00pm
Robert and Donald

 

Robert: So, the guy jumped you when you got off the bus. And it was completely unprovoked?

Donald: Totally. But he didn’t jump me as soon as I got off. He followed me for a while.

Robert: And when he jumped you he tried to …

Donald: … bite my neck. Yeah. (grabs the collar of his jacket and tries to look at it) I think I’ve still got sparkles on my collar.

Robert: (takes a close look) Hm … Wouldn’t want your wife to see that. She might think you’re having an affair with a vampire. (smiles widely)

Donald: (frowns) Yeah.

Robert: Did he leave any scars?

Donald: Only a few emotional ones. He kept telling me he’s been watching me sleep and calling me Bella.

Robert: Creepy. So, d’you want to go have a drink before we go back to my place? I can help you with those emotional scars.

Donald: I could use a drink.

Robert: And then …

Donald: Just don’t call me Bella.

 

Next stop: Thursday, October 26th, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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44. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Saturday, October 14th, 8:00pm
Edward (and The Darkness)

 

Edward sits at the window. The Darkness takes the seat beside him.

Edward: (sniffs and turns to The Darkness) Who the hell are you?

The Darkness: I am The Darkness

Edward: No you’re not. I am the darkness.

The Darkness: I am The Darkness.

Edward: No, I am the darkness.

The Darkness: I AM THE DARKNESS!!

Edward: (hisses, showing plastic fangs) I AM THE DARKNESS!!

Both get kicked off the bus.

 

Next stop: Sunday, October 15th, 9:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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37. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Saturday, October 7th, 9:00pm
Holly (and Edward)

 

Holly sits at the window, staring out. Edward takes the seat beside her.

Edward: Hi.

Holly starts crying.

Edward: Are you okay?

Holly: (sobbing) My boyfriend left me!

Edward: That bastard!

Holly: I know! And I’m pregnant! And my husband is going to kill me!

Edward: (raises an eyebrow dramatically) Your husband?

Holly: Yes! What am I going to do? My husband is going to know it’s not his!

Edward: I can take him out.

Holly: (wipes her eyes and takes her first good look at him) What do you mean, “take him out”? Who the hell are you?

Edward: I’m Edward. I mean take care of him. You know … (hisses, showing his plastic fangs)

Holly frowns and stares at him silently.

Edward: Is your husband home now?

Holly: (stares for a moment longer, considering) Actually there’s this guy named Joel…

 

Next stop: Sunday, October 8th, 2:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.