Note: Strong language
Thursday, March 8th, 6:00pm
Melvin and Scott
Melvin: Holy shit, man, did you fart?
Scott: No …?
Melvin: No way man. It was you. I’d know your farts anywhere!
Scott: It wa’n’t me, man! It’s probably you!
Melvin: Wa’n’t me! I never stunk like that.
Scott: Bullshit, man. You fuckin’ reek like shit all the time.
Melvin: Nuh uh. Hey, maybe it was that old lady that walked by.
Scott: Prolly.
Melvin: Fuckin’ old ladies, man.
Next stop: Friday, March 9th, 4:00pm
Wednesday, March 7th, 4:00pm
Terry and Shannon
Shannon: C’mon!
Terry: Nope, it’s a surprise.
Shannon: Can’t you at least tell me how much you won before we get there?
Terry: Nope.
Shannon: It must be a lot if we’ve gotta go all the way to the city.
Terry: Yep.
Shannon: So … you’ll be able to get your Internet back. Is it enough for a new computer?
Terry: Maybe.
Shannon: A vacation?
Terry: Maybe.
Shannon: A new house?
Terry: Nah.
Shannon: Oh c’mon, Ter. How much did you win?
Terry: Okay, fine. After I cash in my ticket, I’m getting a flight to visit a girl in London.
Shannon: A … girl?
Terry: (smiles) Yeah.
Shannon: Is she … a girlfriend?
Terry: I hope so.
Shannon stands up.
Terry: Where are you going?
Shannon: Back home.
Terry: W–w–why?
Shannon: If you can’t figure it out now, you never will.
Next stop: Thursday, March 8th, 6:00pm
When your best friend spends five minutes explaining that it will take four people to put the cat on the back of the pickup truck and one person to bolt it down, and for five minutes you’re totally confused, only to figure out that he said “cap,” not “cat.”
If you would like to participate in this prompt, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.
NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.
As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a pingback from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.
Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”
The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:
1. Make it one sentence.
2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.
3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.
4. Add our very cool badge to your post for extra exposure!
5. Have fun!
#1linerWeds badge by Dan Antion
Note: Strong language
Tuesday, March 6th, 7:00pm
Andrea (and Lily)
Andrea sits at the window. Lily slips quietly into the seat beside her.
Lily: (in her ear) Boo.
Andrea jumps.
Lily: You’re coming with me.
Andrea: What the fuck? No I’m not.
Lily: I have some business to take care of for my friend Edward, and you are coming …
Andrea: Wait, you know Eddie?
Lily: Oh yessss. (sniffs) What do you have in your bag?
Andrea: Oh this? It’s just, like, a steak and some hot cross …
Lily jumps up and runs for the door.
Andrea: …buns. (calls after Lily as she gets off the bus) Tell Eddie I love him!
Next stop: Wednesday, March 7th, 4:00pm
Monday, March 5th, 6:00pm
Hillary (and Drommen)
Hillary sits at the window. Drommen takes the seat beside her.
Hillary: Hey.
Drommen: Hi there. Sorry I couldn’t make it the other night. My sister needed me.
Hillary: That’s okay.
Drommen: Are you busy tonight?
Hillary: (sits up straight) No.
Drommen: Still got that weed?
Hillary: (smiles) Yeah.
Drommen: I’d invite you back to my place, but we’d be alone. I’ll understand if you’re not comfortable with that.
Hillary: No! No that’s fine. Sooo … what does it do to you anyway? (bats eyelashes) You said you’d tell me when I’m nineteen …
Drommen: (grins) I could show you right now if you’d like.
A man steps up and taps Drommen on the shoulder.
Man: That’s enough, Sir. I’m going to have to ask you to come with us.
Drommen: … but I was just going to …
Man: Ma’am, is this the man you were telling us about?
Hillary: No! It’s another guy!
Man: You don’t have to be afraid to tell me. If this is him …
Hillary: It’s not! It’s another guy who kinda looks like him. The other guy has a mole!
Drommen: Look, if I could just show you what I was …
Man: There’s no need for that, Sir. If you’d just come peaceably.
Hillary: No! Don’t take him! He’s not the one!
Man: You’re not the only one to identify him. I’m sorry.
Hillary: Jake–
Drommen: It’s okay. You have other things to worry about. I’ll see you later.
The undercover cop leads Drommen to the door.
Hillary: (calling to Drommen) I’ll be waiting for you, Jake!
Next stop: Tuesday, March 6th, 7:00pm
Sunday, March 4th, 1:00pm
Oliver (and Zoey)
Oliver sits at the window. Zoey takes the seat beside him.
Oliver: Forty-three, forty-four, forty-five.
The bus stops at a traffic light and Oliver stops counting.
Oliver: (to Zoey) I’m counting street lights.
Zoey: Oh.
Oliver: (as the bus starts again) Forty-six, forty-seven, forty-eight, forty-nine, fifty, fifty-one, fifty-two.
The bus stops to pick up a passenger and Oliver stops counting.
Zoey: Why are you counting street lights?
Oliver: Because I have to go back the other way when it’s dark, and I need to know when to get off.
Zoey: What if one of the street lights is out?
Oliver stares at her.
Zoey: You might not see it.
The bus starts up again.
Oliver: (panicked) Where was I? Quick!
Zoey: You counted fifty-two.
Oliver: Fifty-three, fifty-four, fifty-five …
Next stop: Monday, March 5th, 6:00pm
Note: Strong language
Saturday, March 3rd, 6:00pm
Hillary (and Sean)
Hillary sits at the window. Sean takes the seat beside her.
Sean: So how’d it go with your lover boy the other night?
Hillary: I don’t know what you’re talking about.
Sean: He said no, didn’t he.
Hillary: I still don’t know what you’re talking about.
Sean: Did he show you his “thing”? (chuckles)
Hillary turns to the window, ignoring him.
Sean: I hear he likes showing it off.
Hillary continues to ignore him.
Sean: What’s his stupid name again?
Hillary: (snapping at him) It’s Jake, and it’s none of your business!
Sean: He said no. I knew it!
Hillary: Go fuck yourself.
Sean: I think you’re the one who needs the fu…
Hillary: FUCK OFF!
Sean: Oooh, touchy! All right. Fine. I’ll back off. (looks to the front of the bus) Hey, look who’s getting on!
Hillary: (sits up straight and sees a mother and daughter: strangers, boarding the bus) Fuck off. (she pushes him out of the seat as he doubles up laughing) Asshole.
Sean walks to the back of the bus chortling.
Hillary: Asshole!
Next stop: Sunday, March 4th, 1:00pm
My eldest son, who lives in the basement, is my constant source of support when his brother acts up. Which is a wonderful thing, or will be until–as he pointed out yesterday–it isn’t. I can’t and don’t expect him to live here forever. Yesterday as I was battling with Alex over one of his regular behavioral issues, my son said point blank that if I don’t stop giving in to Alex, he’s going to walk all over me when my support moves out.
So this morning I decided to battle it out alone. I got yelled at and punched (he’s seventeen, but only the size of a ten year old; his little knuckles are bony, damn it!), but I managed to get him to calm down and behave himself. I have to do this. Otherwise, I won’t be fine.
Badge by J-Dub @ https://jilywily.wordpress.com/
This short and far from sweet post is brought to you by a frazzled Linda, in conjunction with Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Join in the fun and read all the other posts! You can find everything you need here: https://lindaghill.com/2018/03/02/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-march-3-18/
Note: Strong language
Friday, March 2nd, 7:00pm
Ethyl (and Jade)
Ethyl sits at the window. Jade takes the seat beside her.
Ethyl: (under her breath) Pfft.
Jade turns and smiles tentatively.
Ethyl: (under her breath) Slut.
Jade: I beg your pardon?
Ethyl: (under her breath) Tart.
Jade: If you’ve got something to say, say it.
Ethyl: You look like a whore.
Jade: How … dare you!
Ethyl: You’re off to get paid for a man’s pleasure, aren’t you? Look at the way you’re dressed.
Jade: It’s a skirt and blouse! I’m going to visit my mom.
Ethyl: Liar!
Jade: (stands) Lady, you need to keep your thoughts to yourself.
Ethyl: (smiles sweetly) Just kidding.
Jade: (sits and crosses her arms) Hmph.
Ethyl: (under her breath) Cocksucker.
Next stop: Saturday, March 3rd, 6:00pm
Hi there! Today is Friday, and that means it’s time for your Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt. I had to force Alex to get on his school bus without his glasses today; the bus was waiting outside, lights flashing, the garbage truck idling behind it, and the glasses were nowhere to be found. Talk about stress! Of course, I found them before the bus got more than two hundred feet down the road … So, I just got back from dropping them off at school. Anyhoo, here’s your prompt:
Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “fine.” Use it any way you’d like, bonus points if you use it as the last word of your post. Have fun!
After you’ve written your Saturday post tomorrow, please link it here at this week’s prompt page and check to make sure it’s here in the comments so others can find it and see your awesome Stream of Consciousness post. Anyone can join in!
To make your post more visible, use our new SoCS badge! Just paste it in your Saturday post so people browsing the reader will immediately know your post is stream of consciousness and/or pin it as a widget to your site to show you’re a participant. Wear it with pride!!
Badge by J-Dub @ https://jilywily.wordpress.com/
Here are the rules:
1. Your post must be stream of consciousness writing, meaning no editing, (typos can be fixed) and minimal planning on what you’re going to write.
2. Your post can be as long or as short as you want it to be. One sentence – one thousand words. Fact, fiction, poetry – it doesn’t matter. Just let the words carry you along until you’re ready to stop.
3. There will be a prompt every week. I will post the prompt here on my blog on Friday, along with a reminder for you to join in. The prompt will be one random thing, but it will not be a subject. For instance, I will not say “Write about dogs”; the prompt will be more like, “Make your first sentence a question,” “Begin with the word ‘The’,” or simply a single word to get your started.
4. Ping back! It’s important, so that I and other people can come and read your post! For example, in your post you can write “This post is part of SoCS:” and then copy and paste the URL found in your address bar at the top of this post into yours. Your link will show up in my comments for everyone to see. The most recent pingbacks will be found at the top. NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, such as Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.
5. Read at least one other person’s blog who has linked back their post. Even better, read everyone’s! If you’re the first person to link back, you can check back later, or go to the previous week, by following my category, “Stream of Consciousness Saturday,” which you’ll find right below the “Like” button on my post.
6. Copy and paste the rules (if you’d like to) in your post. The more people who join in, the more new bloggers you’ll meet and the bigger your community will get!
7. As a suggestion, tag your post “SoCS” and/or “#SoCS” for more exposure and more views.
8. Have fun!
lindaghill.com 