Sunday, August 26th, 1:00pm
Valhallah (and Simon)
Valhallah sits at the window. Simon takes the seat beside her.
Valhallah: I’m looking particularly beautiful today, don’t you think?
Simon: Absolutely edible.
Valhallah: Oooh, I like you.
Simon: I could take you places.
Valhallah: Yeah? Like where?
Simon: I can seriously see you in Greece.
Valhallah: Really? That would cost an arm and a leg!
Simon: (chuckles) Oh, at least.
Next stop: Monday, August 27th, 5:00pm
Saturday, August 25th, 7:00pm
Andrea (and Lacey)
Andrea sits at the window. Lacey takes the seat beside her.
Andrea: Hey there!
Lacey: What’s new?
Andrea: I got a new job! At a dungeon. I’m going to take out all my wildest fantasies on, like, a bunch of strangers.
Lacey: Take out?
Andrea: Well, you know. Anger issues and all that. But things have, like, never been better with the love life. Darkie doesn’t talk much, and you know how I love to hold a conversation, but it doesn’t, like, seem all that bad. He’s a good listener.
Lacey: Uh huh. Well, congrat–
Andrea: And you know Eddie’s left town. Good riddance. I was, like, so over him anyways. So now it’s just me and my Darkness.
Lacey: I’m happy for you.
Andrea: Thanks! So what’s going on with you?
Lacey: Oh, you know. I–
Andrea: I so do. Isn’t life great? Just, like, really great?
Lacey: Uh huh.
Next stop: Sunday, August 26th, 1:00pm
Note: Strong language.
Friday, August 24th, 7:00pm
Karla (and Sean)
Karla sits at the window, staring at her cell phone. Sean takes the seat beside her.
Sean: Hey, don’t I know you from somewhere?
Karla shrugs without looking up.
Sean: Must be something hella interesting on that thing.
Karla: (without looking up) Yep.
Sean: Wanna get fucked up?
Karla: (turns to him) What do you got?
Sean: (smiles) An ounce of green and a dick of steel.
Karla: (puts her phone in her pocket) I’m in.
Next stop: Saturday, August 25th, 7:00pm
Thursday, August 23rd, 5:00pm
Sandi (and Candice)
Sandi sits at the window. Candice takes the seat beside her.
Sandi: Hey there!
Candice: Hi!
Sandi: I heard about your big news! Congratulations!
Candice: Yep. Getting married, going back to school. It’s like I’m growing up.
Sandi: I won’t be with Madame very much longer either.
Candice: Oh no?
Sandi: (smiles) Jeff and I are having a baby.
Candice: Oh my God! (hugs her) That’s wonderful!
Sandi: Yeah. Can’t exactly whip guys when I’ve got a baby bulge. And anyway, Jeff’s looking for a job out of province, so we’ll be moving soon. I hope.
Candice: Is the church going to take him back?
Sandi: I think so.
Candice: I hope you’re not leaving too soon. I was hoping you’d be my maid of honour.
Sandi: I’d love that! Who’s Justin’s best man going to be?
Candice: (shrugs) A friend of his from Calgary. Jimmy. Haven’t met him yet.
Sandi: I wonder what Madame’s going to do without us.
Candice: She’s been interviewing people. I think she’s going to go with someone named Andrea. Apparently, she’s got more energy than the two of us put together.
Next stop: Friday, August 24th, 7:00pm
Wednesday, August 22nd, 5:00pm
Jack and Chip
Chip: How’s your new roommate working out? What’s her name again?
Jack: Jill. She’s really weird.
Chip: How so?
Jack: Every night she fills up a bucket of water in the bathtub and takes it to bed with her.
Chip: Really?
Jack: Yeah. I wouldn’t mind but she sleeps in the basement. She keeps slopping water all over the stairs.
Chip: Maybe you should carry it down for her.
Jack: Pfft. You know me. I’d probably fall down the stairs and break my neck.
Chip: Good point.
Next stop: Thursday, August 23rd, 5:00pm
Tuesday, August 21st, 5:00 6:00pm
Simon (and Sofia)
Simon sits at the window. Sofia takes the seat beside him.
Sofia: I’m sitting here because there’s somebody at the back of the bus I don’t like.
Simon: Oh really?
Sofia: It’s more like I don’t understand her. All she talks about is guys with beards. She absolutely loves guys with beards. Can’t get enough of guys with beards. I wouldn’t mind, but she’s obsessed. And I don’t know – she’s just got really bad taste.
Simon: (turns) Which one is she?
Sofia: Doesn’t matter. She wouldn’t like you. You’re clean shaven.
Simon: Oh, I don’t care if she likes me. I just want to see how bad she tastes.
Next stop: Wednesday, August 22nd, 5:00pm
Monday, August 20th, 5:00pm
Valhallah (and Troy)
Valhallah sits at the window. Troy takes the seat beside her. He looks at her for a moment and turns away.
Valhallah: Go ahead, ask me why I’m so gorgeous.
Troy: Why?
Valhallah: Thank you. (she touches his nose with a fingertip and turns to the window)
Troy: What the…
Valhallah ignores him for the rest of his journey.
Next stop: Tuesday, August 21st, 5:00pm
Sunday, August 19th, 5:00pm
Danielle (and Dale)
Danielle sits at the window. Dale takes the seat beside her.
Dale: Hey, Danny, long time no see.
Danielle: (frowning) Yeah …
Dale: What’s new with you?
Danielle: Oh, you know.
Dale: Lots of changes for me. I just moved and stuff.
Danielle: Uh huh.
Dale: So, how’s the wife?
Danielle: I … don’t have a wife.
Dale: (one eyebrow raised) Didn’t you get married a while ago?
Danielle: Yeah, but I married a man.
Dale: Really? I didn’t know you were gay.
Danielle: I’m not.
Dale: (turning red) I’m sorry, I thought you were someone else.
Danielle turns to the window, self-consciously rubbing the dark hair on her upper lip.
Next stop: Monday, August 20th, 5:00pm
Saturday, August 18th, 9:00pm
Edward (and Bella)
Edward sits at the window. Bella boards the bus.
Bella: (as she approaches) Oh God, you’re back already?
Edward: Just to show you something. Then I’m gone.
Bella: What is it?
Edward: Sit down and I’ll show you.
Bella sits beside him.
Edward: (pulls envelope out of his pocket) My ticket. I’m leaving tonight for Transylvania. To find my ancestors.
Bella: Your family came from … wait. You know you’re not actually a vampire. And even if you were, you’re not related to Vlad the Impaler.
Edward: (sighs) I am a vampire and I am descended from Vlad.
Bella laughs.
Edward: You don’t believe me.
Bella: Of course not.
Edward: Then how do you explain my escape from prison?
Bella: I don’t know – a friend who eats flies?
Edward: No! I turned into smoke.
Bella: Right. Okay then. Let me see you do it now.
Edward: I can’t. I … wouldn’t want to attract attention to you.
Bella: To me? (laughs again)
Edward: You hurt me to the quick, Bella. But never mind. I will go to Transylvania and return with riches, and then you’ll not be able to deny me.
Bella: Watch me.
Edward: You’ll see.
Bella: Right.
Edward: Now, if you’ll excuse me.
Bella waits.
Edward: I’d like to get off the bus now.
Bella: You’re not going to turn into a bat and fly out the window?
Edward: The windows don’t open.
Bella: (stands) Have a nice life, Edward.
Edward: I will Bella. When you’re finally in it for good.
Edward exits the bus.
Next stop: Sunday, August 19th, 5:00pm
Note: Strong language
Friday, August 17th, 5:00pm
Bob (and Robin)
Bob sits at the window. Robin takes the seat beside him.
Bob: You don’t look very happy.
Robin: I’m not. I got stood up. By a pastor of all people.
Bob: Really?
Robin: Yeah. My old pastor retired. We’ve got a new guy apparently. I had an appointment for marriage counseling.
Bob: Well congratulations. When are you getting married?
Robin: In three weeks. And if I don’t see the pastor, he won’t marry us. Look; (turns on phone and shows him appointment) there it is, right there.
Bob: Your appointment’s for Saturday. Today is Friday.
Robin: No it isn’t.
Bob: I assure you it is.
Robin: No way. (takes closer look at phone) Fuck.
Bob: I don’t recommend you do that before you get married. But we’ll talk about that tomorrow, shall we?
Robin: (frowns) Beg pardon?
Bob: (holds his hand out to shake) I’m Bob, your new pastor.
Next stop: Saturday, August 18th, 9:00pm
lindaghill.com