Life in progress


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59. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Sunday, October 29th, 2:00pm
Madigan and Ken

 

Madigan: (looking down at a picture on her lap) I don’t believe it.

Ken: There’s your proof.

Madigan: Barb has been having an affair with your brother all this time?

Ken: She’s your sister.

Madigan: (snorts) She’s your wife. I feel like I’m living in a soap opera. Where are they now?

Ken: On a beach in Barbados, according to the private detective. (points at the photo) I recognize the resort. We went there for our honeymoon.

Madigan: (shakes head and looks up at him) So what are you going to do about it?

Ken: Ask her for a divorce. And marry you, if you’ll have me.

Madigan: What about the lipstick on your collar?

Ken: That was just Barb trying to make you jealous. She already knew about our affair.

Madigan: (sighs) I should have guessed. (looks at him sharply) Wait, was that a proposal?

Ken: I don’t have a ring or anything, but … yeah.

Madigan: (blinks away tears) I want to say yes. But what are family gatherings going to be like?

Ken: (huffs out a laugh) About as awkward as they have been since we started seeing each other behind Barb’s back. God knows how long she’s been screwing my brother.

Madigan: (takes his hand) I wonder if they’re as happy as we are when we’re together.

Ken: I hope not. So, what do you say? Will you consider marrying me?

Madigan: (frowns) My dad’s going to get sick of walking us down the aisle to meet you.

Ken waits silently, gazing into her eyes.

Madigan: Let me think about it.

 

Next stop: Monday, October 30th, 6:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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58. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right (special #SoCS edition)

Saturday, October 28th, 8:00pm
Sally (and Passenger One and Passenger Two)

 

Sally sits at the window. Passengers One and Two take the seats in front of her.

Passenger One: (to Passenger Two) Which brings me to my next question: what are you going for Halloween as this year?

Passenger Two: I told you, I’m going as a sandwich. But I’d like to return to your first question …

Passenger One: What kind?

Passenger Two: What kind of what?

Passenger One: What kind of sandwich are you going as?

Passenger Two: (frowns) It doesn’t matter what kind of sandwich I’m going to go as, I want you to clarify what you meant by your first question.

Passenger One: I wouldn’t go as a peanut butter sandwich if I were you. You’ll have all the dogs in the neighbourhood chasing you.

Passenger Two: (turns and looks Passenger One directly in the eye) Your first question? What did you mean? Don’t make me … (closes eyes and exhales heavily) Okay. I’m not going to get angry …

Passenger One: Baloney.

Passenger Two: (yelling) I’m not! I’m not going to get angry!

Passenger One: Calm down. I meant you can go as a baloney sandwich.

Passenger Two: (still yelling) I’ll sandwich you in a minute!

Sally: (leans forward) If I may …

Passenger Two: (turns to her and yells) What do you want, witch?

Sally: (aghast) I was just going to suggest your friend answer your question. But if you don’t want my help …

Passenger Two: (calmly) Well, thank you. (turns to Passenger One) You see? Even strangers want to know what you meant by your first question.

Sally: Actually, I just want to know what the first question was.

Passenger Two: (to Sally, yelling again) Mind your own business, witch!

Passenger One: (to Passenger Two) Are you quite finished yet?

Passenger Two: (voice raised, anxious) It depends: what do you mean?

Sally: Ahhh …

Passenger Two: (turns) What are you “ahhh”ing about?

Sally: I assume that was the first question you’re referring to.

Passenger One: (turns to Sally) Yes, I’m thinking a Marmite sandwich might be best, too.

Sally: He’s definitely salty enough.

 

Next stop: Sunday, October 29th, 2:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.

This post is brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click the link to see how you, too, can join in! It’s fun! https://lindaghill.com/2017/10/27/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-oct-2817/


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57. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Friday, October 27th, 5:00pm
Moe and Curly

 

Moe: And that’s when you fell off the ladder?

Curly: Right.

Moe: I told you you need to leeean the ladder at a better angle.

Curly: (shakes head) I know.

Moe: You need more of an inclination.

Curly: I know.

Moe: That’s what you get for having less than a degree.

Curly slaps Moe upside the head.

 

Next stop: Saturday, October 28th, 8:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS Oct. 28/17

Friday is here and so is your Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt. There’s not much going on at this end of the world except for work, work, and more work, and the scary-ass pumpkin I have sitting on my kitchen table. And it’s not even carved. I shall endeavour to share a photo sometime in the next few days. In the meantime, here’s your SoCS prompt for this week:

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: “which/witch/wich.” Start your post with the word “which” and try to fit the word “witch” in somewhere if you can. Bonus points if you use a word that ends in “wich.” As an added rule this week, you will lose all the points you’ve ever earned if you type “which witch is which” anywhere in your post. Have fun!

After you’ve written your Saturday post tomorrow, please link it here at this week’s prompt page and check to make sure it’s here in the comments so others can find it and see your awesome Stream of Consciousness post. Anyone can join in!

To make your post more visible, use our SoCS badge! Just paste it in your Saturday post so people browsing the reader will immediately know your post is stream of consciousness and/or pin it as a widget to your site to show you’re a participant. Wear it with pride!!

Here are the rules:

1. Your post must be stream of consciousness writing, meaning no editing, (typos can be fixed) and minimal planning on what you’re going to write.

2. Your post can be as long or as short as you want it to be. One sentence – one thousand words. Fact, fiction, poetry – it doesn’t matter. Just let the words carry you along until you’re ready to stop.

3. There will be a prompt every week. I will post the prompt here on my blog on Friday, along with a reminder for you to join in. The prompt will be one random thing, but it will not be a subject. For instance, I will not say “Write about dogs”; the prompt will be more like, “Make your first sentence a question,” “Begin with the word ‘The’,” or simply a single word to get your started.

4. Ping back! It’s important, so that I and other people can come and read your post! For example, in your post you can write “This post is part of SoCS:” and then copy and paste the URL found in your address bar at the top of this post into yours.  Your link will show up in my comments for everyone to see. The most recent pingbacks will be found at the top. NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, such as Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

5. Read at least one other person’s blog who has linked back their post. Even better, read everyone’s! If you’re the first person to link back, you can check back later, or go to the previous week, by following my category, “Stream of Consciousness Saturday,” which you’ll find right below the “Like” button on my post.

6. Copy and paste the rules (if you’d like to) in your post. The more people who join in, the more new bloggers you’ll meet and the bigger your community will get!

7. As a suggestion, tag your post “SoCS” and/or “#SoCS” for more exposure and more views.

8. Have fun!


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56. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Thursday, October 26th, 5:00pm
Drommen (and Holly)

 

Drommen sits at the window. Holly takes the seat beside him.

Drommen: Hi.

Holly: Hi.

Drommen: Do you mind if I … Are you crying?

Holly: (wipes her cheek) No.

Drommen: What’s wrong?

Holly: Oh God, my life’s such a mess. First I get pregnant with this guy who disappears, and now my husband’s disappeared and I’m going to get thrown out of my place.

Drommen: That’s terrible.

Holly: And on top of all that, I’ve got this other guy hanging around my house with these fake … (points at her mouth) teeth … things … and I’m pretty sure he was the one who made my husband disappear.

Drommen: Did you call the cops?

Holly: No, because I asked him to get rid of the other guy … my boyfriend … Wait, are you a cop?

Drommen: (snickers) No.

Holly: (sighs in relief) Thank God.

Drommen: So, let me get this straight. You asked the guy with the plastic fangs to get rid of your boyfriend, but he screwed up and now your husband is missing instead?

Holly: Right.

Drommen stares out the window.

Holly: I don’t know why I told you all this. I guess it’s easier to talk to a stranger.

Drommen: (turns back to her) No, it’s fine. I understand. I look to strangers for help all the time. Listen, I think I might be able to help you. (reaches into his pocket) Take this.

Holly: (looks down at a wad of twenty dollar bills he handed her) I can’t …

Drommen: Yes you can. It’s for your rent. And next time I see that little prick with the teeth …

Holly: What are you going to do?

Drommen: It’s probably best I don’t say. (reaches into his pocket again) Wait, can I see that wad again?

Holly holds the stack of money out to him.

Drommen: (replaces the topmost $20 with another) Wrong one.

Holly: What … why?

Drommen: (holds up bill gingerly) This one’s a little gooey.

 

Next stop: Friday, October 27th, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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Win a $25 Amazon gift card!

Have a blog? Want to win? All you have to do is sign up to share the cover reveal of the new anthology by Transmundane Press!

ON FIRE is the newest upcoming release from the same publisher who featured my story, Alice on the Analyst’s Couch, in the anthology called, AFTER THE HAPPILY EVER AFTER. I’m pleased to announce that I have a short story coming out in the new anthology also.

The sign up form to help with the cover reveal for the new book is here: CLICK! The reveal date is set for October 31st, and I can assure you, the cover for the ON FIRE anthology is awesome.

Enter for your chance to win the $25 Amazon gift card now!


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55. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Wednesday, October 25th, 7:00pm
Robert and Donald

 

Robert: So, the guy jumped you when you got off the bus. And it was completely unprovoked?

Donald: Totally. But he didn’t jump me as soon as I got off. He followed me for a while.

Robert: And when he jumped you he tried to …

Donald: … bite my neck. Yeah. (grabs the collar of his jacket and tries to look at it) I think I’ve still got sparkles on my collar.

Robert: (takes a close look) Hm … Wouldn’t want your wife to see that. She might think you’re having an affair with a vampire. (smiles widely)

Donald: (frowns) Yeah.

Robert: Did he leave any scars?

Donald: Only a few emotional ones. He kept telling me he’s been watching me sleep and calling me Bella.

Robert: Creepy. So, d’you want to go have a drink before we go back to my place? I can help you with those emotional scars.

Donald: I could use a drink.

Robert: And then …

Donald: Just don’t call me Bella.

 

Next stop: Thursday, October 26th, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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One-Liner Wednesday – Mercury?

I don’t know which planets are aligned or what’s in retrograde, but yesterday my coffee maker broke and I came home to find my laptop wanted me to install an operating system: if you don’t hear from me for a while, you’ll likely find me wandering the streets, Internetless and decaffeinated, looking for a fix.

Here’s some mushrooms I found. …no, I didn’t smoke them.

___________________________________________________________________________

If you would like to participate in this prompt, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a pingback from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our very cool badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

#1linerWeds badge by Dan Antion

 


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54. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language

Tuesday, October 24th, 9:00pm
Mr. Splindle and Horace

 

Mr. Splindle: It’s not really cheating.

Horace: Of-of c-c-course not, M-Mr. Sssssplindle

Mr. Splindle: We’re just going to have a nice quiet roast beef dinner and a few beers.

Horace: R-r-r-right.

Mr. Splindle: But you know, we don’t need to tell anyone about this at work.

Horace: Oh n-no! M-Mr. Splindle! And we w-won’t t-t-tell your w-w-w-wife either!

Mr. Splindle: Very good, Horace.

Horace: M-Mr. Sssplindle?

Mr. Splindle: Yes, Horace?

Horace: W-why did you w-w-want me to c-come with you?

Mr. Splindle: Why Horace, I asked you to come with me because you need to get out. To live a little! Have you ever been to a strip joint before?

Horace: N-no.

Mr. Splindle: Exactly. And you’ll have to get used to it, because when you become my assistant in this new enterprise, you’ll accompany me, with our clients, to peeler bars all across the county.

Horace: And w-we don’t t-t-t-t-tell anyo-one at work about this other e-enterp-prise either, r-r-r-right?

Mr. Splindle: That’s right, Horace. The only one we talk about that with is Hank.

Horace: M-Mr. Ssssplindle?

Mr. Splindle: (sighs) Yes, Horace?

Horace: About my w-w-wife. P-please don’t t-t-t-t-t-tell her, s-sir. Sh-she’d be awfully m-mad if sh-she f-f-f-f-f…

Mr. Splindle: … found out that you went to see strippers?

Horace: (nods) Mmhmm…

Mr. Splindle: (pats Horace’s knee) I understand completely. Most women are delicate flowers, Horace. We must protect them as best we can.

Horace: R-r-r…

Mr. Splindle: But you know there are some women who are more like weeds. They live between the cracks of society and deserve none of our esteem. They are the sort we are going to see tonight, Horace. Weeds. Objects just looking for men like us to pollinate them. (rubs hands together) Tonight I’d like to go pollinate a few of those weeds.

Horace: M-M-M-Mr. Ssssssp-p-plinnndle?

Mr. Splindle: YES, Horace?

Horace: Go f-f-fuck yourself, sir.

Horace gets off the bus.

 

 

Next stop: Wednesday, October 25th, 7:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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53. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Monday, October 23rd, 5:00pm
Donald (and Andrea)

 

Donald sits in the aisle seat. Andrea approaches.

Andrea: Do you mind?

Donald: Oh! No. (shifts over to window seat)

Andrea: (sitting down) Bus is pretty crowded.

Donald: Yes.

Andrea: You just noticed?

Donald: I beg your pardon?

Andrea: Just when the bus is crowded it makes sense to leave any open seats available, doesn’t it?

Donald: I supp …

Andrea: I mean, it’s just common sense. It’s rude to keep two seats all to yourself when there’s so many people on the bus.

Donald: I was waiting for someone.

Andrea: (turns her head to the left and right) Who?

Donald: A … another man.

Andrea: A particular “other man”? Or just “another man”? Are you, like, disappointed that a woman sat beside you?

Donald: (looks her up and down) Yes. And in particular, you.

Andrea is speechless, mouth hanging open.

Donald: You’re rude and distasteful. I’d even go as far as to say that it’s women like you who make men like me—straight men, that is—wonder what it is we see in women at all.

Andrea: Well, I never!

Donald: (raises voice) Then it’s about damned time.

Donald steps over her and stands in the aisle.

Donald: (yelling) And for the record, I was waiting for a particular man, not just another man. One who’s much more tasty– (shakes his head) tasteful than you!

Donald gets off the bus to a round of applause.

 

Next stop: Tuesday, October 24th, 8:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.