Life in progress

Tag Archives: humour


by 19 Comments

#SoCS – Bun food

It’s going to be a busy day for me, so I want to write this post before I do anything. Trouble is, I haven’t eaten breakfast yet–in perfect procrastinator fashion, I’ve put it off simply because I didn’t know what to write, which is ridiculous considering that’s the entire purpose of Stream of Consciousness Saturday: to just write when you have nothing to write. So anyway, where was I? Oh yeah.

I haven’t had breakfast. So I’m sitting here starving, trying to figure out what I can write about with “bun” in it without torturing myself. Here’s what I have to avoid, just so you have an idea what I’m going through:

Buns–my eldest son has taken to baking bread lately. He’s planning to bake some buns, from scratch, for our dinner tonight. Can’t talk about that.

Easter Bunny–that’s me. I have to go out today sometime and get chocolate eggs to hide for tomorrow morning.

Bunch of grapes–sitting in my fridge.  They’re going to go bad if I don’t eat them soon. Eating soon is definitely on my mind.

Bundt cakes–giant donuts that can be shared for dessert … or hidden somewhere in the back of the fridge to be consumed in secret after everyone else has gone to bed.

Bungalow–there we go! Something that doesn’t remind me of food. Unless you count the gingerbread house I built at Christmas. I wonder if it’s possible to build a two-storey gingerbread house? Yum.

Bungle–yep, that’s what I’m doing with this post if my goal is to forget about food.

Oh, who am I kidding? I’m going to have breakfast. Cheers with coffee!!

This strangely delicious post is brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click the link to find all the participating posts in the comment section, and join in yourself. It’s fun! https://lindaghill.com/2018/03/30/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-march-30-18/


by 37 Comments

One-Liner Wednesday – The F-Word

Last week, sitting in a restaurant beside a mother with two daughters, aged about five and eight years old, I overheard:

Five-year-old: I said the f-word by accident yesterday.

Eight-year-old: Which one?

Five: You know, the f–word.

Eight: (whispers) Frozen?

Five: No, the one Mommy always says.

It was all I could do; 1, not to laugh (because we all know Frozen is a bad word); and 2, not to look at the mother and embarrass her.

If you would like to participate in this prompt, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a pingback from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our very cool badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

#1linerWeds badge by Dan Antion

 

 


by 12 Comments

#SoCS – So Not Green

Total fail for me on getting to my own prompt on time today. But I did get some work done on my novel. What seemed like a mountain of editing is going pretty smoothly after all. At least it started to when I got away from the Internet.

I had to drop my son Chris off at the theatre to watch a movie, so instead of coming home, or even sitting in a restaurant while I waited, I sat in the car. Backed up to the humongous pile of dirty snow just off to the side of the parking lot, I got into the back seat with my laptop and worked pretty much non-stop for an hour and a half.

When I came home, I had to walk down to visit my mum at the home. She was out of cigarettes. She’s finally accepted that she can’t have them in her room anymore, and doesn’t question having to go find one of the nurses to give her her nicotine fix. So there’s that. Anyway, I ended up spending an hour there. Then back home to have supper and play a rousing game of Monopoly. I cleaned up! And then I had to clean up.

So though it’s St. Patrick’s Day today (Happy St. Patrick’s Day … yesterday!), the only thing green about mine was the broccoli I had with my steak and potatoes tonight. But that’s okay. I love broccoli.

This not-very-green post is brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click on the link to read all the other posts. It’s fun! https://lindaghill.com/2018/03/16/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-march-17-18/


by 57 Comments

One-Liner Wednesday – Report

Day Two of March Break has come to a successful conclusion: we are all still alive.

In other news, is it spring yet?

Asking for a friend.

If you would like to participate in this prompt, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a pingback from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our very cool badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

#1linerWeds badge by Dan Antion

 


by 15 Comments

#SoCS – Sofa, so good

Well, I was going to get loads of work done today. Work on my own novel, on the short story I’m writing to submit to the upcoming anthology by Transmundane Press, work on my editing website, and on the introduction I need to write for the St. Patrick’s Day anthology I edited. And what have I done so far? Your guess is as good as mine, but it wasn’t any of the above.

Thing is, I have been working all day. I must have, because I didn’t play a single computer game. I did do a final proofreading run-through on the St. Patty’s anthology. And my butt is square from sitting on the sofa all day, so I must have been on the laptop.

I do keep getting up to grab myself something from the fridge in hopes that when I get back, I’ll get something done. But it’s like there’s so much to do I’m not sure where to start, so I end up doing things like chatting on Facebook (I have to–it’s anthology work), or scrolling through the, like, 50 tabs I have open to see what’s new. Social media is my downfall. I admit it.

What else have I done today? I avoided wine. That’s gotta count for something, especially since Alex is on a rare weekend at his dad’s. I know, I say I “avoided” wine like it’s flying through the air, aiming at me. It’s not true. It’s actually tucked into a wine rack in the basement. All two dozen bottles … Mmm, wine.

BUT, I can still get some work done tonight, can’t I? It’s only … 11:06pm. Oh damn, the clocks go forward. It may as well be after midnight. Where does the time go?!? Alex will be home before I know it, and I won’t have any work done!! May as well give up and drink wine.

Oh look! There’s a bottle now! Better catch it.

This crazy post is brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Find the prompt post here and read all the contributing blogs! https://lindaghill.com/2018/03/09/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-march-10-18/


by 57 Comments

One-Liner Wednesday – Misunderstandings

When your best friend spends five minutes explaining that it will take four people to put the cat on the back of the pickup truck and one person to bolt it down, and for five minutes you’re totally confused, only to figure out that he said “cap,” not “cat.”

If you would like to participate in this prompt, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a pingback from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our very cool badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

#1linerWeds badge by Dan Antion

 


by 60 Comments

One-Liner Wednesday – How I Roll

Once in a while I get a brilliant idea for a story–something that’s so mind-boggling, that I just KNOW it’s best-selling-novel material. I’ll be so excited that there’s NO WAY I’m going to forget this idea, but I write myself a little note, just to make sure.

Here’s one example, that’s been on my phone for almost a year:

I have no freakin’ clue what the story was going to be about.

If you would like to participate in this prompt, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a pingback from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our very cool badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

#1linerWeds badge by Dan Antion

 


by Leave a comment

179. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Monday, February 26th, 4:00pm
Miles (and Andrea)

 

Miles sits at the window. Andrea takes the seat beside him.

Andrea: (under her breath) Man, this weather sucks ass.

Miles: Yes it does. Do you have any toilet paper?

Andrea: Ewww! Eww! Eww! Eww!

Andrea changes seats.

 

Next stop: Tuesday, February 27th, 4:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


by 14 Comments

#SoCS – Story Updates

“His eyes glowed with the ferocity of the demon within.”

This could almost be the tagline for the second novel in my series. It seems I need something to warn people that it won’t be as tame as the first book–the one so many people said could have gone under the young adult (YA) tag. So there’s that.

In other writing news, I’ve decided to give my sexy short story to my existing pseudonym, so she’ll be making her debut soon. The way it looks now, the anthology will be free, so everyone who’s interested will be able to afford it. I, with my team of editors (Milly who’s doing the developmental editing, and Raine who’s proofreading–I’m copyediting), are working hard, also for free, to get this thing looking professional. It’s a labour of love, in more ways than one. I’m still hoping to get the aforementioned series novel out soon. I need more hours in a day. Maybe a cover reveal will get me off my butt for that. Yeah.

In the meantime, here’s the cover “reveal” (ahem) for the sexy book I’m editing and included in. As you can see, the target audience is more on the side of “her.”

This post, complete with bonus points earned, is brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Saturday! Click the following link to check out all the other entries and to join in, too! https://lindaghill.com/2018/02/16/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-feb-17-18/

 


by 33 Comments

One-Liner Wednesday – My Existential Fridge

As you probably know if you’ve been around my blog for a while, I have letter fridge magnets. I was taking something out of the fridge the other day, and one of the letters fell off the freezer door and landed on my forearm. I paused to think, then I laughed.

Because I was hungry. Don’t judge me!!

The letter was “Y.”

If you would like to participate in this prompt, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a pingback from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our very cool badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

#1linerWeds badge by Dan Antion