Note: Strong language
Saturday, April 14th, 3:00pm
Quinn and Serge
Serge: Glad you came last night?
Quinn: (sighs) Yeah I guess.
Serge: Listen, bro. You got nothing to feel guilty about. It was just a little window shopping.
Quinn: Yvonne wouldn’t agree.
Serge: (shrugs) So don’t tell her.
Quinn stands.
Serge: Hey, where are you going? This isn’t your stop.
Quinn: No, but I’ve gotta get off. The paint store’s right there.
Serge: (laughs) Pussy.
Next stop: Sunday, April 15th, 2:00pm
Friday, April 13th, 5:00pm
Candice (and Justin)
Candice sits at the window. Justin takes the seat beside her.
Candice: Hey loverboy, long time no see.
Justin: Yeah, I’ve been working on getting out of my contract with Mr. Splin … that guy I was working for.
Candice: You free now then?
Justin: Just about.
Candice: Great. Madam’s looking for a bouncer at the dungeon. You interested?
Justin: Do you think she’d hire me, me being a client and all?
Candice: I don’t see why not. You might have to stop being a client though.
Justin frowns.
Candice: (smiles) I can take care of you privately if you like.
Justin: (smiles back) When can I start?
Next stop: Saturday, April 14th, 3:00pm
Monday, April 2nd, 8:00pm
Robert and Donald
Donald: (rubs face) Ugh. I’m going to hate Easter from now on.
Robert: Well, it had to be done.
Donald: I know. (pats Robert’s knee) Thanks again for coming with me.
Robert: I know what it’s like to come out.
Donald: Did you see the look on my dad’s face?
Robert: (nods) Same as the one on mine.
They sit in silence for a moment.
Donald: I’ll move out by the end of next week.
Robert: That’s a great place you guys found. I’m happy for you.
Donald: Thanks. Too bad about Blaine.
Robert: (flicks hand) It was never meant to last.
Donald nods.
Robert: I’m gonna miss you, you know.
Donald: Yeah, me too.
Next stop: Tuesday, April 3rd, 8:00am
Sunday, March 18th, 10:00am
Deborah and Tilden
Tilden: Mommy?
Deborah: Yes, Tilden?
Tilden: Why do you say “life goes on”?
Deborah: Well, honey, sometimes life is difficult. But it doesn’t stop for anybody.
Tilden: You mean except dead people?
Deborah: Right. Except for dead people.
Tilden: Why doesn’t life go on for dead people?
Deborah: Because they’re dead.
Tilden: But you said Gramma will live in your heart forever.
Deborah: That’s true. I did say that.
Tilden: So life goes on for Gramma too?
Deborah: Only in spirit.
Tilden: (thinks for a few minutes) Can Gramma’s spirit buy me a birthday present?
Deborah: (puts her arm around him) No, honey.
Next stop: Monday, March 19th, 5:00pm
Wednesday, March 14th, 8:00pm
Grub (and Hillary and everyone else on the bus)
Grub sits at the window. Hillary takes the seat beside him.
Grub: Hey.
Hillary: Hey.
Grub: I love you, man.
Grub reaches out to touch her. She moves to the seat behind.
Grub: (stands and turns) I love you, man!
Grub: (lifts hands) I love all of you!
Grub gets kicked off the bus.
Next stop: Thursday, March 15th, 5:00pm
Wednesday, March 7th, 4:00pm
Terry and Shannon
Shannon: C’mon!
Terry: Nope, it’s a surprise.
Shannon: Can’t you at least tell me how much you won before we get there?
Terry: Nope.
Shannon: It must be a lot if we’ve gotta go all the way to the city.
Terry: Yep.
Shannon: So … you’ll be able to get your Internet back. Is it enough for a new computer?
Terry: Maybe.
Shannon: A vacation?
Terry: Maybe.
Shannon: A new house?
Terry: Nah.
Shannon: Oh c’mon, Ter. How much did you win?
Terry: Okay, fine. After I cash in my ticket, I’m getting a flight to visit a girl in London.
Shannon: A … girl?
Terry: (smiles) Yeah.
Shannon: Is she … a girlfriend?
Terry: I hope so.
Shannon stands up.
Terry: Where are you going?
Shannon: Back home.
Terry: W–w–why?
Shannon: If you can’t figure it out now, you never will.
Next stop: Thursday, March 8th, 6:00pm
Note: Strong language
Saturday, February 24th, 7:00pm
Hillary and Sean
Hillary: I was so fucked up yesterday when I left your place.
Sean: Yeah, that was some good shit. I can get some more.
Hillary: Can I buy it off you?
Sean: Fuck no. Why?
Hillary: Oh, nothin’.
Sean: You want to smoke that guy up that you meet on the bus.
Hillary: (crosses arms) No I don’t.
Sean: Yes you do. I don’t know what you see in that creepy old perv.
Hillary: He’s not creepy or old or a perv!
Sean: Oh fuck, girl, you got it bad.
Hillary snorts and looks out the window.
Sean: Okay, fine. I’ll let you have some. But I he’s gonna say no.
Hillary: No he won’t.
Sean: HA! I knew it! I fuckin’ knew it!
Hillary: (mumbles) Asshole.
Next stop: Sunday, February 25th, 10:00am
Saturday, February 17th, 8:00pm
Edward and Lily
Edward: … so she threatened me with a stake.
Lily: No way!
Edward: Yes way!
Lily: I think we should get her before she gets us. She’s clearly dangerous.
Edward: What do you mean, “get her”?
Lily: You know, get her. Take her down. Down to the ground. Down INTO the ground, if you know what I mean.
Edward: No.
Lily: What do you mean, “no”?
Edward: You’ve got to stay away from her.
Lily: If you think I’m just going to sit by and wait for her to come along with a wooden stake, and…
Edward: I’ll take care of her. I’ll drain her and make her one of us. That’s what I’ll do.
Lily: But … I don’t want there to be another girl vampire. You’ve got me.
Edward: So?
Lily: So, you’ve got me!
Edward: You’re being irrational.
Lily: I’m being irrational? Edward, this girl might have friends. Next thing you know, they’ll be coming after us with torches and pitchforks!
Edward: You’re just jealous.
Lily: I’m … what? Me? Jealous? No way.
Edward: Yes way.
Lily: (turns away, mumbling) You’re insane.
Next stop: Sunday, February 18th, 11:00am
Note: Strong language
Wednesday, February 14th, 8:00pm
Edward (and Andrea)
Edward sits at the window. Andrea takes the seat beside him.
Andrea: THERE you are! I’ve been looking for you forever!
Edward: Who are you?
Andrea: (stares, open-mouthed) You … don’t remember me? I’m the one you were making out with on New Year’s. It was so … I can’t believe you don’t remember me! Look! (pulls down scarf to reveal her neck) You gave me this.
Edward: That certainly looks like mine.
Andrea: Who the fuck else’s would it be?
Edward: I am the only vampire around … Unless it was Lily.
Andrea: Lily? As in, like, a girl? EWWW! It was YOU! We made out! And you don’t remember!
Edward: Oh wait. I remember you now.
Andrea: (smiles) Well of course you do! Nobody forgets me. Especially guys I make out with. So, d’you want to, like, get together? It is Valentine’s Day after all.
Edward: I am kinda hungry. Wanna go for a bite?
Andrea: (giggles) Sure. I could go for some Italian.
Edward: (shakes his head vigorously) Too much garlic.
Andrea: What do you feel like?
Edward: Something bloody.
Andrea: Steak it is!
Next stop: Thursday, February 15th, 6:00pm
Monday, February 12th, 5:00pm
Robert and Donald
Donald: So, what are we doing for Valentine’s Day?
Robert: Oh I don’t know.
Donald: I guess we should do something.
Robert: We don’t have to do anything.
Donald: We don’t?
Robert: Well, not together at least.
Donald: What are you suggesting?
Robert: I was thinking about going out with a friend.
Donald: A friend friend? Or …
Robert: Not … necessarily.
Donald: You mean you have a new lover?
Robert: I … might.
Donald: Huh.
Robert: You’re not upset, are you?
Donald: Not … well, not too upset. You could have told me though.
Robert: So what, you could fire me?
Donald: I’d never do that!
Robert: Pfft. Sure.
Donald: I wouldn’t! And anyway, I have a new boyfriend. Take that!
Robert: You do?
Donald: Yes. We’ve been seeing each other for weeks.
Robert: Then why are you still living on my couch?
Donald: Because I didn’t want to upset you!
Robert laughs.
Donald: What are you laughing about?
Robert: Just … nothing.
Donald: Huh. So you want to double date on Wednesday?
Robert: May as well. But you won’t be coming back to my place after.
Donald: Why not?
Robert: Don’t you think that would be a bit awkward?
Donald: Well I can’t go back to his place. He lives with his mother.
Robert: (slumps in his seat) There goes Valentine’s Day.
Next stop: Tuesday, February 13th, 5:00pm
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