Life in progress


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205. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Saturday, March 24th, 8:00pm
Lacey (and Edward)

 

Lacey sits at the window. Edward pops up in the seat behind her.

Edward: (into her ear) Hello.

Lacey: (jumps) Ugh! You again? Why do you do that?

Edward: (smiles, showing fake fangs) Because I can. What’s your friend’s name again?

Lacey: Andrea?

Edward: Yes. That one. Is she still in love with me?

Lacey: (rolls her eyes) Yes. But I have no idea why. She really needs to …

Edward: Would she dye her hair for me?

Lacey: (without interruption) … stay away from y … What did you say?

Edward: Do you think she’d dye her hair blond?

Lacey: What the hell for?

Edward: (looks up at the ceiling) Oh, no reason.

Lacey: (narrows her eyes) You want her to look like that Bella chick you’ve been trying to get, don’t you.

Edward: No.

Lacey: Then why?

Edward: I just happen to like … I mean, I prefer … No reason. Can you ask her to dye her hair and meet me on the bus Tuesday night?

Lacey: No.

Edward: When will she be back on the bus?

Lacey: Not telling.

Edward: (after a moment of silence) Do you want to be blond?

Lacey: No!

Edward: (under his breath) Damn.

 

Next stop: Sunday, March 25th, 10:00am

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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204. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Friday, March 23rd, 9:00pm
Vlad and Edward

 

Vlad: You disappoint me, Edvard.

Edward: I’m sorry.

Vlad: “I’m sorry,” vhat?

Edward: (lowers head) I’m sorry, Master.

Vlad: Hmph.

Edward: I’ll try harder.

Vlad: You say that, but I gave you this assignment seven months ago! Get the girl. Bring her over to the dark side. And have you done it yet?

Edward: No, Master.

Vlad: No. Exactly. (turns and looks out the window)

Edward: What about the other one I brought you?

Vlad: (stares at him) Lily?

Edward: Yes. Lily.

Vlad: She is simply a crackpot. I vant the girl vith the golden hair!

Edward: But…

Vlad: No buts, Edvard.

Edward: So now what?

Vlad: Now I am letting you go.

Edward: (eyes widen) Letting me go?

Vlad: Yes. I vill look for another apprentice.

Edward: But … I’ll get her! I promise!

Vlad: (puts hand up) Don’t talk to me until you have the girl!

 

Next stop: Saturday, March 24th, 8:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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203. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language

Thursday, March 22nd, 5:00pm
Hillary (and Sean)

 

Hillary sits at the window. Sean takes the seat beside her.

Sean: Still pissed?

Hillary: What do you think?

Sean: Here. (hands her a piece of paper) I made you a drawing to cheer you up.

Hillary: (staring at the paper) What is it?

Sean: It’s a guy.

Hillary: With the head of a cow? And where’s his right hand?

Sean: Inside his coat. It’s your lover boy.

Hillary frowns.

Sean: I call it “Beef Strokinoff.”

Hillary: (throws the paper at him and pushes him) Asshole!

Sean falls out of his seat, laughing, and moves to the back of the bus.

 

Next stop: Friday, March 23rd, 9:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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202. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Wednesday, March 21st, 6:00pm
The Darkness (and MoJo) (and JoJo)

 

The Darkness sits at the window. MoJo takes the seat beside him. After a few stops, JoJo boards the bus.

JoJo: (to MoJo) Yo!

MoJo: Yo, man! Wassup?

JoJo: (sits on the seat across the aisle) Oh, I dunno. Still pretty bummed about not gettin’ to the South Pole.

MoJo: Yeah, dude, I know what you mean. Maybe next winter.

JoJo: Sure.

MoJo: But I got somethin’ that’ll lift your spirits. Got into this game on Steam.

JoJo: Right on man! What’s it called?

MoJo: It’s called “The Darkness”!

The Darkness: (mumbling) I am The Darkness.

MoJo: (turns) What’s that?

The Darkness: (mumbling) I am The Darkness.

MoJo: Dude! You play too?

The Darkness: I AM The Darkness. (stands) I am The Darkness! I AM THE DARKNESS!

The Darkness pushes past MoJo and gets off the bus.

MoJo: (to JoJo) Did you see that dude, man?

JoJo: Yeah, man. That dude’s gotta chill.

MoJo: No South Pole for him, man!

JoJo: No way!

 

Next stop: Thursday, March 22nd, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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201. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Tuesday, March 20th, 10:00am
Simon (and Zoey)

 

Simon sits at the window. Zoey takes the seat beside him.

Simon: Hi.

Zoey: Hi.

Simon: I’m hungry.

Zoey: (smiles) How hungry are you?

Simon: I’m so hungry I could eat a human foot.

Zoey: I’m sorry I asked.

Simon: Hey, those are nice boots you’re wearing.

Zoey changes seats.

 

Next stop: Wednesday, March 21st, 6:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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200. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language

Monday, March 19th, 5:00pm
Drommen (and Hillary)

 

Drommen sits at the window. Hillary boards the bus and tries to walk past him.

Drommen: (reaching out to grab her lightly by the sleeve) Hey.

Hillary: I got nothing to say to you.

Drommen: Look, I’m sorry about the other day.

Hillary: Sure you are.

Drommen: I didn’t want my sister to know. She’s not well. Will you sit, please?

Hillary: (sits beside him, arms crossed) That wasn’t very nice you know.

Drommen: I know. I apologize.

Hillary: So what happened when you got arrested?

Drommen: I’ve got to go to court. But it’s a case of mistaken identity. I haven’t done anything wrong.

Hillary: Not what I heard.

Drommen: (sighs) Okay fine. I might have propositioned a few people but I’ve never been rude about it. I take “no” for an answer.

Hillary: Why do you do it at all then?

Drommen: (shrugs) Shits and giggles I guess.

Hillary: Can you stop?

Drommen: Not if I don’t have to.

Hillary: Then you won’t mind taking “no” for an answer with me, neither. “No” I won’t sit and talk to you no more.

Hillary changes seats.

 

Next stop: Tuesday, March 20th, 10:00am

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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199. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Sunday, March 18th, 10:00am
Deborah and Tilden

 

Tilden: Mommy?

Deborah: Yes, Tilden?

Tilden: Why do you say “life goes on”?

Deborah: Well, honey, sometimes life is difficult. But it doesn’t stop for anybody.

Tilden: You mean except dead people?

Deborah: Right. Except for dead people.

Tilden: Why doesn’t life go on for dead people?

Deborah: Because they’re dead.

Tilden: But you said Gramma will live in your heart forever.

Deborah: That’s true. I did say that.

Tilden: So life goes on for Gramma too?

Deborah: Only in spirit.

Tilden: (thinks for a few minutes) Can Gramma’s spirit buy me a birthday present?

Deborah: (puts her arm around him) No, honey.

 

Next stop: Monday, March 19th, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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198. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language

Saturday, March 17th, 10:00am
Drommen (and Patrick)

 

Drommen sits at the window. Patrick takes the seat beside him.

Drommen: Hi.

Patrick: How are ye?

Drommen: Not bad. What’s up with you?

Patrick: Oh, just a little under the weather.

Drommen: But … the face paint. What’s that all about?

Patrick: Why, I’m a leprechaun don’ ye know.

Drommen: Leprechauns are actually green?

Patrick: (stares) Don’ be sayin I’ve done it wrong.

Drommen: I think you’re only supposed to be wearing green.

Patrick: Oh for feck’s sake. I said it to me mam just o the mornin. Don’ be puttin the face paint on me but the aul cow…

Drommen: I’m sure it’ll wash off.

Patrick: No, I don think so.

Drommen: What makes you say that?

Patrick: Well ye see, me mam has this stuff. An she says its simple enough to make, but it’s a bugger to get off. I’ll just have to go back home and tell her.

Drommen: Tell her what?

Patrick: Why, it might no be difficult to make the stuff, but it’s no easy bein green.

 

Next stop: Sunday, March 18th, 10:00am

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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197. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language

Friday, March 16th, 9:00pm
Hillary (and Sean)

 

Hillary sits at the window. Sean takes the seat beside her.

Sean: Hey.

Hillary: What?

Sean: I just said hey. Who pissed in your Rice Krispies this morning?

Hillary snorts.

Sean: You and lover boy break up?

Hillary: I’m not talking about him.

Sean: Ohhh, trouble in Paradi–

Hillary: (cuts him off) Wanna get fucked up?

Sean: Sure.

Hillary: Good. I got the dope. Just promise me you’re not gonna talk about that fuckhead, and you might get more then just dope.

Sean pretends to zip his lips shut.

Hillary: (regards him silently for a moment) I think I like you this way.

Sean: You know me. Anything for a blow job.

Hillary: (turns to the window) Never mind.

 

Next stop: Saturday, March 17th, 10:00am

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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196. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language

Thursday, March 15th, 5:00pm
Drommen and Francine (and Hillary)

 

Drommen: Let’s just get you home okay? You look like you’re about to collapse. I don’t know why they let you out so soon …

Francine: I’m okay.

Drommen: (puts his arm around her) No you’re n– (looks up to see Hillary board the bus) Oh God.

Hillary: (approaches) Jake! You’re out!

Drommen: (widening his eyes and shaking his head minutely) Jessica, hi. This is my sister, Francine.

Francine: (looks up and smiles thinly) Hi. Jake’s mentioned you. Nice to meet you.

Hillary: Hi. (turns to Drommen) So, how was–

Drommen: (cutting her off) Francine’s not feeling well. Can we talk another time?

Hillary: Sssure … I just wanted to say I’m glad you got out of j–

Drommen: FUCK! off now, please.

Hillary, looking as though she’s about to cry, walks to the back of the bus.

Francine: Why were you so rude? I thought you liked her.

Drommen: I do. Just … never mind. Let’s get you home, okay?

 

Next stop: Friday, March 16th, 9:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.