Hillary sits at the window. Sean takes the seat beside her.
Sean: So how’d it go with your lover boy the other night?
Hillary: I don’t know what you’re talking about.
Sean: He said no, didn’t he.
Hillary: I still don’t know what you’re talking about.
Sean: Did he show you his “thing”? (chuckles)
Hillary turns to the window, ignoring him.
Sean: I hear he likes showing it off.
Hillary continues to ignore him.
Sean: What’s his stupid name again?
Hillary:(snapping at him) It’s Jake, and it’s none of your business!
Sean: He said no. I knew it!
Hillary: Go fuck yourself.
Sean: I think you’re the one who needs the fu…
Hillary: FUCK OFF!
Sean: Oooh, touchy! All right. Fine. I’ll back off. (looks to the front of the bus) Hey, look who’s getting on!
Hillary: (sits up straight and sees a mother and daughter: strangers, boarding the bus) Fuck off. (she pushes him out of the seat as he doubles up laughing) Asshole.
Thursday, March 1st, 4:00pm 6:00pm
Maurice and Stuart
Maurice sits at the window. Stuart takes the seat beside him.
Maurice: Hey there, buddy. You know, this being late thing is going to get you in trouble.
Stuart: Yeah, I know. But I’ve got a good excuse this time.
Maurice: Oh yeah?
Stuart: Yep. The apartment got flooded.
Maurice: Oh no. Did you lose a lot of stuff?
Stuart: Not only that, the old lady I live with almost drowned, trying to save the dog.
Maurice: Can’t the dog swim?
Stuart: Yeah, but the dog was trying to save the cat.
Maurice: That was decent of him.
Stuart: You’d think so. But it was the damned cat’s fault that the flood happened in the first place. It somehow managed to get under the sink and it chewed right through one of those flexible pipes.
Maurice: Oh man. So how is everyone now?
Stuart: Old lady’s at the hospital, dog’s at the vet, and the cat … (Stuart opens is jacket and a bald head pokes out)
Maurice: Oh my God, that thing is ugly! You can’t take that to work.
Friday, February 23rd, 7:00 10:10pm
Maurice and Stuart
Maurice sits at the window. Stuart takes the seat beside him.
Maurice: Hey! What happened to you? You’re really late tonight.
Stuart: (nods) You remember that old lady who lives with me?
Maurice: Yeah. Is she okay?
Stuart: Oh yeah. We got into a rousing game of Monopoly.
Maurice: I don’t think I’ve ever heard the words “rousing” and “Monopoly” used in the same sentence before.
Stuart: You haven’t met this lady. It all came down to her having hotels on Park Place and Boardwalk, and me with hotels on everything else, and she still won.
Maurice: Wow. The odds are incredible.
Stuart: Not really. Just as I was about to win, the dog and the cat flew across the board, chasing each other, and we lost everything. Had to start over again.
Maurice: Seriously? You must have already been playing for a while if you had all those properties. No wonder you’re late.
Stuart: Oh, no. That’s not why I’m late. The cat got out as I was walking out the door. I had to chase it around the neighbourhood.
Maurice: Oh man. How did you catch it?
Stuart: It got wet.
Maurice: Outside? In this weather?
Stuart: Kid saw me chasing it and squirted the thing with a squirt gun, thinking it was a rat.
Maurice: That’s right. It’s bald on account of the old lady’s allergies. But that doesn’t explain how you caught it.
Stuart: Sure it does. It brushed up against a fence post and got stuck. I’ve spent the last two hours figuring out how to heat up a fence post to get the cat off it.
Maurice: (looking confused) So, how does that have anything to do with the Monopoly game?
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