Life in progress

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115. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Sunday, December 24th, 2:00pm
Damien (and Flora)

 

Damien sits at the window with his head in his hands. Flora takes the seat beside him.

Flora: Hey! How’s it goin’?

Damien: I can’t believe I did it.

Flora: Did what?

Damien: You know I’ve been working shifts, right?

Flora: Yeah.

Damien: I worked ’til six this morning, went home and passed out, and I had this dream. I dreamt I hadn’t got any of my Christmas shopping done. So I jumped out of bed, and I literally ran to the mall.

Flora: And then you realized it was a dream?

Damien nods, his head still in his hands.

Flora: You got time off at Christmas?

Damien: Yeah, I don’t go back ’til the 29th.

Flora: Sounds like you could use a break. Want to go for a coffee?

Damien: (looks up at her) You buyin’? I don’t get paid ’til next week.

Flora: Sure. But how were you going to do any shopping if you don’t have enough for coffee?

Damien: (shakes his head and chuckles) Thank God it was just a dream. Would’a been a nightmare if I’d actually tried to buy something.

 

Next stop: Monday, December 25th, 3:00am

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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114. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language

Saturday, December 23rd, 6:00pm
Brandon and Jordan

 

Brandon: What did you get Marissa for Christmas?

Jordan: (pulls a small box out of a bag) I got her a ring. Wanna see it?

Brandon: Sure.

Jordan opens the box.

Brandon: Holy shit, man, is that an engagement ring?

Jordan: Yep.

Brandon: It’s been what, two months since you started dating?

Jordan: Yep.

Brandon: And you’re that sure you want to, like, settle down and shit?

Jordan: Yep.

Brandon: Is she pregnant?

Jordan: (frowns) No. We haven’t even gone all the way.

Brandon: You’re nuts, man.

Jordan: Whadda you mean?

Brandon: Isn’t that like putting the cart before the horse? Buyin’ the goods before they’re tested or something like that?

Jordan: And what’s wrong with that?

Brandon: I dunno… (shakes head) I always said you were a bit loose in the head.

Jordan: (smiles) At least I might not have to break anything else.

Brandon: Fuck, yeah. I forgot who I was talking to for a minute.

 

Next stop: Sunday, December 24th, 2:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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113. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language

Friday, December 22nd, 5:00pm
Morris (and Andrea)

 

Morris sits at the window. Andrea takes the seat beside him.

Morris: Ugh.

Andrea: Excuse me?

Morris: I still don’t have my Christmas shopping done.

Andrea: And this concerns me how, exactly?

Morris: It doesn’t. I just wanted to …

Andrea: Why does everyone on this freakin’ bus want to tell me their problems? Like, I can’t get a minute’s peace on this freakin’, fucking bus! First I’ve got people flashing me, spitting at me, telling me their problems …

Morris: I’d watch it, if I were you. I’m Santa.

Andrea: (stares at him) You’re what now?

Morris: Santa Claus. And with a mouth like that, you’re not likely to find anything in your stocking, young lady.

Andrea: (frowns) Wait. Didn’t you just say you haven’t finished your Christmas shopping? Doesn’t Santa MAKE the toys?

Morris: No, the elves do that. I have to go out and buy all the supplies.

Andrea: You’re fucking crazy.

Morris: (shaking his head, mumbles) Whatever is the world coming to?

Andrea: (mumbles) Exactly.

 

Next stop: Saturday, December 23rd, 6:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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112. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language

Thursday, December 21st, 3:00pm
Gina and Roxie

 

Gina: Did you get my text?

Roxie: (pulls one earphone out) What?

Gina: Did you get my text?

Roxie: (puts earphone in) No.

Gina: I’ll resend.

Roxie: (a moment later) Oh my God! Really?

Gina: Uh huh, and not just that. (texts Roxie)

Roxie: No way!

Gina: Way! And then, she said, “I don’t have to put up with this shit. LOL”

Roxie: (pulls earphone out) What?

Gina: Hang on, I’ll text it.

Roxie: (a moment later) I can’t believe she said that!

Gina: (nods) And she even LOL’ed!

Roxie: What?

Gina: Wait, she’s texting me now.

Roxie: (pulls earphone out) What did she say?

Gina: (pulls earphone out) What?

Roxie: What did she say?

Gina: Hang on, I’ll forward it.

Both put in earphones. Ad nauseum.

 

Next stop: Friday, December 22nd, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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111. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Wednesday, December 20th, 8:00pm
Drommen (and Stephanie) (and Villem)

 

Drommen sits at the window. Stephanie takes the seat beside him.

Drommen: (smiling) Good evening.

Stephanie: (smiling back) Hi.

Drommen: Nice evening.

Stephanie: Yes, it … (suddenly looks nervous) Hide me.

Drommen: Hide you?

Stephanie: Yeah. (looking at his long trench coat) Under your coat or something.

Drommen: Well, you see…

Stephanie: That man over there. (pointing) He tried to flash me on the bus the other day.

Drommen: (sits up straight) Which one?

Stephanie: (points) Over there. First seat on the left.

Drommen starts to get up.

Stephanie: (grabbing his arm) No! You can’t go over there.

Drommen: Why not?

Stephanie: Because he’ll know it was me who told you about him.

Drommen: But someone has to deal with this guy. He’s giving the bus a bad name.

Stephanie: (with a tear in her eye) Please?

Drommen settles back in his seat.

Stephanie: Thank you. You’re a very decent man.

Drommen snorts.

 

Next stop: Thursday, December 21st, 3:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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110. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Tuesday, December 19th, 5:00pm
Honey and Dear

 

Dear: (whining) Honey?

Honey: (bored) Yes Dear.

Dear: Can you rub my feet when we get home?

Honey: Yes Dear.

Dear: (a minute later, whining) Honey?

Honey: (bored) Yes Dear.

Dear: Can we cook supper together?

Honey: Yes Dear.

Dear: (a minute later, whining) Honey?

Honey: Yes Dear.

Dear: (whining) Can we go to bed early? I’m tired.

Honey: Of course, Dear.

Dear: (a minute later, whining) Honey?

Honey: (getting annoyed) Yes Dear.

Dear: You’re the best wife ever.

Honey: (regards him) Thank you, Dear.

 

Next stop: Wednesday, December 20th, 8:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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109. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Monday, December 18th, 8:00am
Sherlock and Watson

 

Sherlock: … and so I said to him, “I knew it was you!”

Watson: How ever did you figure it out?

Sherlock: Well, let me tell you. I spied him sneaking into the hallway, and then when I went to put my shoes on later–after completely forgetting about the incident–there it was! A piece of poo, stuck to the bottom of my sock!

Watson: The poo was in your shoe?

Sherlock: It was!

Watson: (shakes head sadly) You really must get rid of that child.

Sherlock: Oh no, I sha’n’t do that. I’ll simply send him to school.

Watson: But, which one?

Sherlock: Why, elementary, my dear Watson.

 

Next stop: Tuesday, December 19th, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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108. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Sunday, December 17th, 4:00am
Norm (and Vic)

 

Norm sits at the window. Vic takes a seat across the aisle.

Vic: Wassup?

Norm: (regards him briefly) Not much.

Vic: Why so glum, chum?

Norm: (looks at him) Why don’t you go find somewhere else to sit?

Vic: Get fired from the factory?

Norm: (stares out the window, mumbling) None of your business.

Vic: If you need some money I can help you out.

Norm: (regards him) Yeah? Doing what?

Vic: (reaches into his pocket, pulls out a small baggie) I’ve got a little business goin’.

Norm: I’m not into drugs. And anyway, what makes you think I’m not a cop?

Vic: Are you a cop.

Norm: (smiles) Yeah.

Norm escorts Vic off the bus in handcuffs.

 

 

Next stop: Monday, December 18th, 8:00am

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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107. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language

Saturday, December 16th, 4:00pm
Karla (and Justin)

 

Karla sits at the window. Justin takes the seat beside her.

Justin: Hey, don’t I know you from somewhere?

Karla: (glances up briefly from her cell phone) Nope.

Justin: I’m sure I do. Do you live around here?

Karla: (without looking up) Nope.

Justin: It’s Karla, right?

Karla: (without looking up) Nope.

Justin: Then why do you call yourself “Karla” on Facebook?

Karla: (looks at him) How do you know that?

Justin points at her phone.

Karla: (turning her back to the window to hide her phone, holding it in front of her face) Stop being so nosy.

Justin: You don’t get it, do you?

Karla: Don’t get what?

Justin: Everyone knows everyone.

Karla: (nose to her phone, typing madly) I don’t know you.

Justin: But all your friends will. You just took my picture.

Karla: No I didn’t.

Justin: (snatching her phone) Yes you did.

Karla: Fuck off, give it back.

Justin: Take my picture off it.

Karla: (snatches phone back) Fine!

Justin: (sits quietly for a moment, then turns to her) Friend me on Facebook?

Karla: (without looking up from her phone) Sure, what’s your name?

 

Next stop: Sunday, December 17th, 4:00am

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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106. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Adult theme

Friday, December 15th, 8:00pm
Edward (and Lily)

 

Edward sits in the aisle seat. Lily takes a seat behind him.

Lily: (leaning forward) Hey, sexy, going my way?

Edward: (without turning) What a stupid question. We’re on a bus. (turns to her) Of course I’m go … (sniffs) Who are you?

Lily: (smiles, showing a mouthful of fake fangs) I’m the girl who’s going to make you happy.

Edward: (stands) No you’re not! I belong to Bella!

Lily: Okay! Okay! Calm down. Have a seat.

Edward sits and stares forward.

Lily: (leaning forward to speak in his ear) I bet Bella can’t give you what I can.

Edward: (meekly) Are you talking about eternal life?

Lily: No, I’m talking about really great head.

Edward stands, hisses at her showing his own fake fangs, and hurries to the door to dramatically wait to get off the bus.

 

 

Next stop: Saturday, December 16th, 4:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.