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85. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Adult theme

Friday, November 24th, 9:00pm
Drommen (and Holly) (and Hillary)

 

Drommen sits at the window. Holly takes the seat beside him.

Drommen: Hey!

Holly: Hi!

Drommen: How are you? You look cheerier than the last time I saw you.

Holly: I’m much better. I don’t know what you did, but that guy with the fangs laid off.

Drommen: (smiles) Great!

Holly: And I got my own place for me an’ my baby (pats her growing stomach) so we’re all good.

Drommen: That’s wonderful.

Holly: Thanks again for your help. I don’t know if I coulda done it without you.

Drommen: You’re welcome.

Holly: I’d like to return the favour somehow … (bats eyelashes)

Drommen regards her silently.

Holly: (rubs his knee) Whadda ya say?

Drommen: (grins) Well now that you mention it … (reaches into his coat for his fly and sees Hillary board the bus. The smile leaves his face)

Holly: What? Did you want to show me something?

Drommen waves to Hillary, who is waving to him.

Holly: Friend of yours?

Drommen: Can I take a rain check?

Holly: (looking annoyed) She must be special.

Drommen:  She’s just a nice girl.

Holly: And I’m not?

Holly moves to another seat in a huff. Hillary sits beside Drommen.

Hillary: Who was that?

Drommen: A missed opportunity.

Hillary stares at him.

Drommen: (smiling) But I’m happy to see you.

 

Next stop: Saturday, November 25th, 6:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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84. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Thursday, November 23rd, 5:00pm 9:00pm
Maurice (and Stuart)

 

Maurice sits at the window. Stuart takes the seat beside him.

Maurice: Finally! What the hell happened to you?

Stuart: Oh man, you wouldn’t believe the day I’ve had. First, I missed the five o’clock bus, then I was running to catch a cab and I tripped and landed on top of this old woman walking her dog.

Maurice: My God! Is the woman okay?

Stuart: Yeah, but it was her dog leash I tripped over. Strangled the poor thing half to death. So then I felt so bad, I had to take her dog to the vet, and … it died.

Maurice: No way!

Stuart: Yep.

Maurice: So what did you do?

Stuart: The only thing I could do. I bought the old lady a new dog.

Maurice: She must have been pleased.

Stuart: Nope. Dog ran away. Turns out when I tripped over the leash, I tore it. Leash broke, dog ran away.

Maurice: Holy hell. So then what?

Stuart: We settled on a cat.

Maurice: Sounds like a solution.

Stuart stares at Maurice.

Maurice: No … What happened to the cat?

Stuart: Nothing. Turns out the old woman’s deathly allergic to them.

Maurice: She didn’t …

Stuart: Nooo. No, no, no. But she’s in the hospital.

Maurice: So, where are you off to now?

Stuart: Buy a litter box. Damned cat peed all over my rug.

 

Next stop: Friday, November 24th, 9:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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83. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language

Wednesday, November 22nd, 10:00am
Lacey and Kevin

 

Kevin: I’m real glad we live close.

Lacey: (sounding unenthusiastic) Yeah.

Kevin: And now that we work at the same place, we can take the bus together.

Lacey: Uh huh.

Kevin: I wasn’t surprised I got the job.

Lacey: Really.

Kevin: I won an award for selling the most shoes at the place I worked in, in Kingston.

Lacey: Uh huh.

Kevin: Kingston, Jamaica.

Lacey: You mentioned that yesterday.

Kevin: It was a lot different there. Spending time on the beach all day, playing volleyball …

Lacey: Uh huh.

Kevin: It was real nice there. And it never rained.

Lacey: Never?

Kevin: Well only at, like, 2am when no one was out sunbathing anyways.

Lacey: No shit.

Kevin: No shit. It was perfect.

Lacey: So why’d you move here?

Kevin: This guy gave me all this money and said if I wanted to keep it, I had to move to Canada.

Lacey stares at him.

Kevin: Seriously! I had to stash it in my house where no one would find it.

Lacey: Your house where you live with your mom.

Kevin: Yeah. I can’t exactly go around spendin’ it. People would wonder.

Lacey: Uh huh.

 

Next stop: Thursday, November 23rd, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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82. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Tuesday, November 21st, 6:00pm
Amber (and Geeves)

 

Amber sits at the window. Geeves takes the seat beside her.

Geeves: Good afternoon.

Amber: Hey.

Geeves: (taking a sandwich out of his bag, he lifts the top piece of bread) Oh no, not again. (to Amber) Excuse me.

Amber: Huh?

Geeves: Have you any Grey Poupon?

Amber: Any what now?

Geeves: (lifts corner of lip in disgust) Ugh.

 

Next stop: Wednesday, November 22nd, 10:00am

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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81. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Monday, November 20th, 3:35pm
Sylvester and Harry

 

Harry: I can’t believe the bus was half an hour late.

Sylvester: I know.

Harry: So, you going out on the prowl tonight?

Sylvester: Thinking about it. Wanna come?

Harry: Nah, chicks aren’t my thing these days.

Sylvester: (regarding him closely) I thought you were over Ththally.

Harry: (wipes spit out of his eye) Sally and I weren’t really together in the first place. We met, she got weird in a restaurant, then you know, we just went our separate ways. What’s it to you anyway?

Sylvester: You don’t have to get all catty…

Harry: No, that’s your job.

They sit quietly, both thinking for a moment.

Sylvester: Do you ever wonder if you’re jutht in the wrong plathe thometimeth?

Harry: (pats him) There there…

Sylvester: (mumbles) Thuffering Thuccotash

 

Next stop: Tuesday, November 21st, 6:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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80. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Sunday, November 19th, 1:00pm
Rachael (and Smiley)

 

Rachael sits by the window. Smiley takes the seat beside her.

Smiley: (smiling) Hey. Great day, eh?

Rachael smiles and turns away.

Smiley: Nice puppy you’ve got there, eh?

Rachael: (turns to him) What … are you talking about?

Smiley: (points to her lap) Your puppy.

Rachael: (looks down, turns up palms) I don’t have a puppy.

Smiley: What’s that then?

Rachael: I don’t have anything.

Smiley: (smiling) Pretend, eh?

Rachael: No. (turns away and looks out the window)

Smiley: You know, if you act like that, your puppy’s gonna bite you.

Rachael: (mumbles in the direction of the window) Maybe you should go away before it bites you.

Smiley: (chuckles) Now you’re talkin’!

 

 

Next stop: Monday, November 20th, 3:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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79. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Saturday, November 18th, 8:00pm
Drommen (and Edward)

 

Drommen sits at the window. Edward takes the seat beside him.

Drommen: What the hell are you doing back?

Edward: I’ve decided to forgive you.

Drommen: (laughs) You’re joking.

Edward: No. I’ve forgiven you because it’s obvious you’re not trying to kill me. Not like some people.

Drommen: I don’t want to kill you. I just want you and your plastic fangs and your sparkles off my bus.

Edward: (hisses, showing his plastic teeth) They’re not plastic. They’re all mine.

Drommen: I have no doubt they’re yours. Where’d you buy them from – Dollarama?

Edward: I got them from the dentist. After someone knocked my real fangs out.

Drommen: Your real fangs?

Edward: His name was van Helsing. Do you know him?

Drommen: Yeah, I know him. He was from Dracula.

Edward: Dracula? No way. Dracula was a myth. I’m the real thing.

Drommen: Pfft. You’re just a teeny-bopper wannabe.

Edward: I am not! Do you want me to bite your neck and prove it?

Drommen: (glares for a moment) You. Wouldn’t. Dare.

Edward stares, uncertain. He stands, holding the skirt of his trenchcoat up to cover the lower part of his face. He hisses, then runs to the door to dramatically wait for the next stop.

 

 

Next stop: Sunday, November 19th, 1:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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78. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Friday, November 17th, 7:00pm
Candice and Sandi

 

Candice: I can’t believe you’re coming back to work.

Sandi: Yeah, hell, I’ve got to make a living, right?

Candice: Doesn’t the preacher make enough?

Sandi: Jeff’s suspended from work.

Candice: (looking shocked) Because you guys got married?

Sandi: Yep. Apparently him marrying someone who worked in a dungeon is too much for the church to handle.

Candice: So what is he gonna do?

Sandi: Take it to the higher-up.

Candice: You mean …

Sandi: Yep, the big guy himself.

Candice: Damn.

Sandi: Let’s hope not.

 

Next stop: Saturday, November 18th, 8:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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77. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language

Thursday, November 16th, 6:00pm
Michael (and Wanda)

 

Michael sits at the window, reading a book. Wanda takes the seat beside him.

Wanda: Do you mind if I paint my nails?

Michael: (without looking away from his book) Nope.

Wanda: (takes a bottle of nail polish out of her pocket) Nasty outside today.

Michael: (without looking away from his book) Yep.

Wanda: (singing) Oh the weather outside is frightful. (speaking) Shit. (singing) But the fire is so delightful. (speaking, etc.) Shit. But as long as you love me so.  Shit.  Let …

Michael: (regards her for the first time) Why do you keep saying “shit”?

Wanda: The bus keeps ruining my nail polish when it goes over a bump.

Michael: So don’t paint your nails on the bus.

Wanda: Mind your own business.

Michael goes back to his book.

Wanda: (singing) Let it … Shit. Let it … Shit. Let it … Shit.

 

Next stop: Friday, November 17th, 7:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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76. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Adult theme

Wednesday, November 15th, 6:00pm
Donald and Robert

 

Robert: So what now? You can’t live on the street.

Donald: I’ll just have to move in with you.

Robert: (raises eyebrows) I beg your pardon?

Donald: You’re the one who got me into this mess in the first place. It’s the least you can do.

Robert: If I remember correctly, it was you who came on to me.

Donald: Well I wouldn’t have if you weren’t gay. Now I’m gay too.

Robert: I didn’t make you gay.

Donald: Didn’t you?

Robert: NO!

Donald: So you’re not going to let me move in with you?

Robert: NO!

Donald: Fine. Then you’re fired.

Robert: You can’t fire me because I won’t let your sorry ass move in with me!

Donald: Try me.

Robert: Okay then. Fire me and I go to YOUR boss and tell him you’ve been blowing me every chance you get.

Donald: You wouldn’t!

Robert: Damned right I would. And you know what the school board is going to think of that, Mr. Principal!

Donald snorts and crosses his arms over his chest.

Robert: Look, you can stay with me for a couple of days until you find a place.

Donald: (smiles) Thanks.

Robert: You can sleep on the couch.

 

Next stop: Thursday, November 16th, 6:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.