Life in progress

Category Archives: fiction


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71. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language

Friday, November 10th, 8:00pm
Bella and Alice (and Edward)

 

Bella: I hate coming on this bus. I’m just waiting for that creep with the teeth to show up again.

Alice: Well, he’s not here now. And even if he was, this place we’re going to is totally worth it.

Bella: I look okay? Do you like my earrings?

Alice: They’re so cute!

Bella: I just hope I can meet someone nice.

Alice: Believe me, there are TONS of single guys.

Edward: (pops up from behind them) Hello.

Bella and Alice jump forward on their seats.

Bella: Where the fuck did you come from?

Edward: I’ve been here all the time. I’m disappointed in you, Bella. You don’t need anyone but me.

Alice: (speaking as though to someone who doesn’t understand English) She. Doesn’t. Need. You. Now go away, and stop being so fuckin’ creepy.

Edward: (ignoring Alice) Bella don’t go with her. Come with me. I’ll show you what it’s like to really live.

Bella: Go away before I call the cops.

Edward: The police can’t hold me. I’m a vampire. (smiles, showing his plastic fangs)

Alice: (opens her bag) Where’s my can of mace?

Edward: (scoffs) Mace can’t hurt me.

Bella: Wait, I’ve got something better.

Bella pulls a clove of garlic out of her purse.

Edward: (eyes wide) NO! (runs for the door)

Alice: Nice one.

Bella: I was a Girl Scout.

 

Next stop: Saturday, November 11th, 11:00am

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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70. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language

Thursday, November 9th, 4:00pm
Betty and Karla

 

Betty: What do you want to do on your birthday.

Karla: (mumbling, looking at her cellphone) Whatever.

Betty: It’s coming up in two weeks. I know your dad wants to take you out for dinner.

Karla: (mumbling) Sure.

Betty: It’s important to him.

Karla: (mumbling) I know.

Betty: Would you please put that thing down and talk to me?

Karla: (snorts at something on the phone) Sure, just a sec.

Betty: Now!

Karla: Just wait.

Betty snatches the phone away.

Karla: What the fuck, Mom. I was reading something!

Betty: And I’m talking to you about your birthday!

Karla: Yeah whatever. I’ll go out for dinner. Now can you give me back my phone?

Betty: (hands the phone back) What about Saturday the 25th?

Karla: (mumbling, looking at her cellphone) Whatever.

 

Next stop: Friday, November 10th, 8:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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69. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Wednesday, November 8th, 4:00pm
Madigan and Missy

 

Missy: (speaking around the thumb in her mouth) Mom?

Madigan: Yes, sweetie?

Missy: Ith we moofing becuth of Uncu Ken?

Madigan: We’re just moving, that’s all.

Missy: Why aren we te-ing Uncu Ken?

Madigan: Take your thumb out of your mouth. We’re not telling Uncle Ken because he’ll try to tell us not to go.

Missy: Why doesn’t Uncle Ken want us to go?

Madigan: Because he loves us.

Missy: So why are we going?

Madigan: Because sometimes it’s just easier that way.

They sit quietly for a few minutes.

Missy: Mom?

Madigan: Yes, sweetie?

Missy: I think you need a hug.

 

Next stop: Thursday, November 9th, 4:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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68. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Tuesday, November 7th, 4:00pm
Mr. Big and Henry

 

Mr. Big: When is Heath meeting us?

Henry: Not until after eight. And then we’re off to Mars.

Mr. Big: Yep, the three Musketeers ride again.

Henry: To the Milky Way! Skor!!

Mr. Big: Seriously?

Henry snickers.

Mr. Big: Oh Henry …

 

Next stop: Wednesday, November 8th, 4:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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67. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Monday, November 6th, 8:00am
The Darkness (and Phil)

 

The Darkness sits at the window. Phil takes the aisle seat.

Phil: My car broke down. Again.

The Darkness glances at him and turns to look out the window.

Phil: I hate taking the bus. So many weirdos.

The Darkness snorts.

Phil: But at least now that the clocks have turned back, it’s not as dark in the morning.

The Darkness: (mumbles) I am The Darkness.

Phil: I know, right? So depressing in the morning when it’s dark out.

The Darkness: I am The Darkness.

Phil: I get it. So not looking forward to Christmas time. That’s when it’s REALLY dark in the morning.

The Darkness: I am The Darkness.

Phil stares at The Darkness.

The Darkness: I AM The Darkness! I AM THE DARKNESS!!!

The Darkness gets kicked off the bus.

 

Next stop: Tuesday, November 7th, 4:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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66. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Sunday, November 5th, 10:00am
Moses (and Hannah)

 

(Moses sits at the window. Hannah takes the seat behind him.)

Moses: (mumbling to himself and bouncing in his seat) Hurry up, hurry up.

Hannah: (taps him on the shoulder) Are you okay?

Moses: I’m going to be late for work!

Hannah: This bus only goes to the mall …

Moses: (eyes wide) Yeah! I know! I work at the mall.

Hannah: But it doesn’t open for another hour.

Moses: There was a time change last night! Didn’t you know? (mumbles) Stupid bitch.

Hannah: (frowning) Yes. I do know. I changed my clock.

Moses: (beside himself with agitation) Then why do you think the mall’s not open? How stupid are you?!

Hannah: (changes seats, mumbling) I’m smart enough to know what time of year it is.

 

Next stop: Monday, November 6th, 8:00am

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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65. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Adult theme.

Saturday, November 4th, 4:00pm
Drommen (and Lena)

 

Drommen sits at the window. Lena takes the seat beside him.

Drommen: Hi.

Lena: Hi.

Drommen: Nice day today.

Lena: It’s a bit chilly.

Drommen: Do you mind if I masturbate?

Lena: Not at all.

Drommen smiles, opening his fly.

Lena: Do you mind if I knit?

Drommen: Not at all!

Lena smiles and pulls out a large pair of shears.

Drommen: (grimaces, doing up his fly) Maybe another day.

 

Next stop: Sunday, November 5th, 10:00am

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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64. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Friday, November 3rd, 2:00pm
Sammy and Leroy (and Zoey)

 

Sammy sits at the window. Leroy is in the aisle seat.

Sammy: I bet you can’t go five minutes without saying something.

Leroy: Of course I can.

Sammy: Okay, try it.

Leroy: When do you want me to start?

Sammy: Now.

…

Leroy: I can do this, you know.

Sammy: That was a whole 30 seconds.

Leroy: I wasn’t ready.

Sammy: You’ll never be ready.

Zoey approaches.

Zoey: (to Sammy, pointing at the aisle seat) Do you mind if I sit here?

Sammy: My friend is sitting here.

Zoey: (frowns) That’s a ventriloquist’s dummy.

Leroy: Hey! Who are you calling a dummy?

Zoey: (to Leroy) You! (shakes head and looks at Sammy) Would you mind moving your doll so I can sit?

Sammy: Leroy’s not a doll. He can’t even shut up for five minutes!

Zoey: You mean you can’t shut up for five minutes.

Leroy: Of all the nerve! You can’t talk to him like that!

Zoey: I’m not talking to you, I’m … (mumbles) Oh never mind. (moves to the back of the bus)

Leroy: (to Sammy) Do you believe that? Some people!

 

Next stop: Saturday, November 4th, 4:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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63. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Thursday, November 2nd, 3:00pm
Jordan and Brandon

 

Brandon: How’d your date with Marissa go Tuesday night?

Jordan: We did the whole dress-up thing and walked around the block with her little sister.

Brandon: And? Was it fun?

Jordan: Other than the fact I had to walk around on crutches?

Brandon: Kinda gets in the way of holding hands, I guess.

Jordan: Uh … yeah.

Brandon: What’d you dress up as?

Jordan: An injured basketball player, what else? Went well with the cast.

Brandon: And Marissa?

Jordan: (smiles) A nurse.

 

Next stop: Friday, November 3rd, 2:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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62. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language

Wednesday, November 1st, 7:00pm
Andrea and Lacey

 

Andrea: So you’ll never guess what I heard at work.

Lacey: What?

Andrea: Christmas music. One fucking day after Hallowe’en. Can you believe it?

Lacey: No way!

Andrea: I wouldn’t have even noticed it if this guy hadn’t been whistling to it when he came in.

Lacey: Like he …

Andrea: … liked it or something. Exactly! I mean, who likes Christmas music the day after Hallowe’en? Like, we haven’t even got all the decorations down. But at least the guy was hot.

Lacey: Pfft. Too bad.

Andrea: What do you mean “too bad”? (shrugs) I flirted with him a bit.

Lacey: No!

Andrea: Yep. And I asked him out. We’re getting together next week.

Lacey: Seriously? What are you gonna do if …

Andrea: If he starts whistling Christmas music again? What do you think? Dump his ass!

 

Next stop: Thursday, November 2nd, 3:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.