I’ve discovered a talented young writer! I met Ainsworth through my fiction blog, and he’s just amazing. Won’t you please go visit him, read his work, give him some encouragement and a follow, too? Thank you!
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DISCLAIMER:Now, once again this is a work of ‘Fiction’. Now before you start reading I would like to give a Shout Out to Linda G. Hill! Thanks for providing me with a new perspective on how to make sense of these prompts! It is very much appreciated! 🙂
Once again, this post was inspired to me by ‘The Daily Post‘ October 17th Prompt – Urgent. Enjoy!
2:04AM: ‘FINALLY! I KNOW WHAT TO WRITE!’
‘URGENT!’ The word echoed through my mind. You know, the worst part wasn’t the word itself. Oh no, I had become accustomed to living my life with a degree of urgency. But, the reminder that every morning there is another outstanding bill, that is long overdue never failed to but a damper on my mood.
I always knew that being an adult wasn’t going to be easy, that’s what they all told me…
What makes one a parent? Is it the simple act of creating another life? Or is it having days like the one I’m having today? It started with coming out of my bedroom to find the kid at the top of the stairs holding a dog biscuit up above his head and the dog about to jump up at him from the stair above (the kid was one step down from the top) and about to knock him down the entire flight backwards.
Said kid has been frustrated all day by one thing after another, and screaming his head off (as he is now) and testing my limits as he does it.
The second time he tried to kill himself today (I’m saying this is the second, because things come in threes and I want it to be over already) he decided he wasn’t going to eat today. At all. I had visions of him ending up in hospital hooked up to an IV because his heart can’t handle dehydration.
And then (you’ll really get a kick out of this one) he pulled the power cord out of his laptop (still plugged into the wall) and decided it might be yummy. He actually put it in his mouth before I noticed. !!!!!
If being stressed out means being a parent to a child who doesn’t realize how self-destructive he’s being, and actually staying with him while he practically kills me, then apparently I’m a parent.
I actually thought about recording him but I don’t want my audience to hate me. You’re welcome.
P.S. In case you’re not sure how to take this post, I’m still smiling. Smile with me. We’re all still alive.
I have to buy Easter eggs for next weekend to hide, for my youngest son to find. It’s going to be interesting this year with the puppy, making sure the right being finds the eggs. Apparently chocolate isn’t good for dogs anymore. I used to give it to my mother’s poodles all the time – no one told me not to. It didn’t seem to cause them any problems.
I must be a terrible mother. I hate deadlines to start with, but holiday deadlines are the worst. Easter, Christmas, birthdays… even getting ready for the day after Labour Day when the kids go back to school is a huge chore for me. I think it’s because I put so much pressure on myself to get it done. It’s more the stress of knowing I have to do it than actually having to do it. Shopping, that is. I really can’t stand shopping. But not as much as I hate deadlines.
I got egged once. You know how sometimes kids go around and egg cars at Hallowe’en? Well one Hallowe’en night when I was a teenager – it might have been either the last or the second-last year I went out trick or treating – I sat down on the curb to have a rest and a car came by and someone threw an egg out the window and hit me square in the middle of the forehead. Luckily I was close to home – I went and got changed and went back out again.
I have no idea where I was going with that story. But there it is.
This post doesn’t feel very much like Stream of Consciousness. I think I’m too stressed over the eggs. I wish there was a way to get out of my mind once in a while, you know?
It seems to me that, though life in general is made up of them, there are weeks when little annoyances build up rather substantially. Or perhaps I’m just less tolerant of them. During weeks like these, it’s important to keep a sense of humour lest I end up totally bonkers due to the stress of it all. Failing the ability to laugh at my woes in the privacy of my own closet (which is where the men in the white coats SHOULD NOT LOOK FOR ME!! IGNORE THE GIGGLES COMING FROM THE CLOSET!!!) this blog enables me to share my madness with all of you. Aren’t you lucky? Here we go.
My Top Ten List of Annoying Things for This Week
Having a fantastic idea for a blog post that’s so freaking good that I didn’t need to write it down.
Famous last words.
Getting all ready to have a shower and then realizing I need to wash my clothes first.
Snow days. All one of them.
Firefox crashing every evening at about 7. What’s up with that?
Having a to-do list that’s longer than there are hours in a day.
Meat in the fridge that won’t wait just one more day before it expires. C’mon, meat! Have a bit of decency!
Not being able to get more fridge magnet letters from Toys ‘r’ Us.
on the bright side, the accent is correct
Chocolate. More specifically, orange Kit Kat. Why does it have to be so mouth-wateringly delicious?!
Not being able to come up with ten annoying things, damnit!
I find it incredibly hard to sit still. Especially when I’m trying to write. If I’m not getting up to get something I’m playing a mindless game on the computer because my brain just can’t handle, most of the time, the intense thought processes it has to go through to get what’s on it, on the screen. I need time to fully picture what I’m going to write before I write it. Once I have that picture I can go – and sometimes, yes, I’ll look up from the screen and realize it’s gotten dark outside without my noticing. Or, “Oh, look at that. I missed dinner time. No wonder I’m hungry.” This is, of course, only when I’m alone. Which is the best time for me to get anything done anyway.
I have a hard time sitting still but I wish my weight reflected that. Normally when I think of someone who’s always on the go I think of a person who is as skinny as a rail. Not me. Which proves that there’s no such thing as a stereotype where busyness is concerned. Then again, usually when I write and I have to distract myself, I end up in the kitchen…
The word “still” bugs me sometimes. At my most stressful times I’m usually saying “I still have to do this,” or “I still have to do that.” There’s always something I still have to do. I never get to the end of the damned “to do” list. That could have something to do with why I’m not sure my manuscript will ever be finished. There’s always a point I want to change or something I want to fix. Perfection must be achieved! Which I know sucks, but I don’t want to be criticized for something I could have fixed but didn’t.
Maybe instead of making my own wine (at the wine store) I’ll eventually end up with my own still in the basement. It may be the cure for all my stress. And hey, I can just pass out down there. That’ll keep me still.
If you’ve been following me for a while you’ll know that I occasionally have problems with my eyes. I’ve tried eating carrots – that worked for a while. I tried Lutein, same thing. I tried drinking more water, I watched my sugar intake, I went to the doctor and an optometrist… The dietary stuff worked for a while, the professionals had no idea. I got a very slightly different prescription from the eye doctor which I’ve never bothered to fill. Actually putting on my glasses helps, sometimes.
With all of these temporary solutions that seem to work when I expect them to, I’ve become convinced that it’s stress. Mind over matter. I’ll start a journal to see when I lose my eyesight the most (this morning was bad) but rather than concentrating on what I’m consuming, I’ll keep track of what I’m doing or have planned. At the moment I’ve got to look forward to having all the kids home for two weeks until school starts. On top of that, my mother is bored at the retirement home and wants to come over… where she’ll spend the day getting stressed over my youngest son Alex’s screaming and teasing her, which in turn stresses me out.
Yeah. Looking at it in (hazy) black and white makes it look all the more logical, don’t you agree?
I’ve spent much of today attempting to find some sort of balance. In times of stress and knowing that I have an overwhelming amount of work ahead, I fall back heavily on Taoist philosophy. There is a certain logic in it, much like Newton’s theory that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. In Taoist belief there is no such thing as absolute – even though balance may fall to one side or the other, neither fully black (or yin) nor fully white (or yang) exist. This is of course a very simplified explanation. One would have to study the Tao Te Ching to come close to understanding it all, and even then…
But this isn’t meant to be a philosophy lesson. It’s about having too much of one thing and not enough of another. In my case it’s too much thought–or forethought–and not enough action. The solution is to do things. Today, while I await the start of my week and all the tasks that I can’t complete or even start until the time is right, I needed to keep myself busy and I did, to an extent.
Next week, when I’m busy as all hell, I’ll be looking for ways to sit and gather my thoughts so that I can organize my time so that I can get as much done in the small space I have as possible. In between, I hope to be able to blog. That is my reward. I go crazy when I’m not able to create. I feel useless; unproductive. Even if I’m getting lots done.
Balance is something I strive for all the time. Most of the time I’m unbalanced anyway. Please wish me luck for the next week.
Not to diminish the severity of the impact ADD has on the lives of people who truly suffer with it, but is it possible to “catch” it in times of stress? Why do I ask? Let me tell you.
In the amount of time it took me to decide what I was going to write about today, click on my dashboard and get into “Add New Post,” I came up with six more things I want to write about – the last of which is the fact that spellcheck (I guess Firefox’s version) has finally chosen to insert its ass in my subject line. Apparently “Poblano” isn’t a word. Who knew?
So yeah, the other stuff in backwards order of the idea light bulb coming on over my head are:
1. I realized I haven’t answered any of my comments today, so I wanted to apologize for that in advance of my upcoming eye drops. I’ll try to get to some before I leave for the appointment however.
2. My battery works!! It’s ALIVE!!!! And yes, it was free. 😀
3. My occupational therapist appointment went well. I’ve got to do a few exercises, mildly limit my movement for a couple of weeks, and get my laptop into a better position. Oh, and move around once in a while. OH, and check out an aqua fitness program. OH! And get a body pillow. Good call to all of those who came up with the idea when I was considering a sleeping companion.
4. I’m working on writing enough “Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right” so they’ll keep publishing while I’m gone.
5. Beta readers!! I need a few people who are serious about wanting to beta my novel. I’ll be looking to find out if it’s interesting enough to captivate my audience, notes on any inconsistencies, and I’m planning to put a note in it of my own to ask about thoughts on splitting it into two or three books. I’d like to have it read while I’m away, if I can get it ready by the time I leave. Let me know if you want a copy! I’ll take three readers for now. Please email me at bacamjoly at gmail dot com if you’re interested.
6. … And now that I’m finally at my original idea for posting today, I’ve forgotten what it is.
What do you think? Am I ready for an ADD diagnosis yet?
lindaghill.com 