Life in progress

Yearly Archives: 2017


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One-Liner Wednesday – Trouble

Yesterday’s conversation between my mother (who has a sense of humour and dementia) and myself:

Mum: Did you know your dad died in 1948?

Me: No, Mum, it was 1978. I was born in ’64, so if he died in ’48, he wasn’t my dad.

Mum: Oh. I’d better shut up then, before I get myself in trouble.

And we laughed, and laughed …

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If you would like to participate in this prompt, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a pingback from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our very cool badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

#1linerWeds badge by Dan Antion

 

 


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47. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Tuesday, October 17th, 2:00pm
Madigan and Missy

 

Missy: Mommy, what’s a “seatful prick”?

Madigan: That’s DEceitful, and you don’t say the word “prick.” It’s not nice. What were you doing awake at eleven last night anyway?

Missy: I woke up when Shadow barked. Who were you talking to?

Madigan: Never you mind.

Missy: Was it Uncle Ken?

Madigan: (regards her daughter) What makes you think it was Uncle Ken?

Missy: Oh just ‘coz Auntie Barb called him that.

Madigan: And when did you hear that?

Missy: The day you went to work and I stayed at Auntie Barb’s place.

Madigan: Two weeks ago?

Missy: (shrugs) I guess.

Madigan: Did you hear anything else?

Missy: (nods) Uh-huh.

Madigan: What else did you hear?

Missy: Auntie Barb told him that he was no better than her sister. Isn’t you her sister, Mommy?

Madigan: Yes. (gazes out the window)

Missy: Are you “seatful,” Mommy?

Madigan: Not as much as Auntie Barb is.

 

Next stop: Wednesday, October 18th, 6:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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46. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Monday, October 16th, 1:00pm
Captain Longsight (and Zoey)

 

Captain Longsight sits at the window. Zoey takes the seat beside him.

Captain Longsight: (pulls binoculars from bag and peers through them out the window) Holy Shamoly!

Zoey: What?

Captain Longsight: There’s a crime going on down that sidestreet!

Zoey: (holds hand out for the binoculars) Can I see?

Captain Longsight: There’s no way you can see it.

Zoey: Why not? The bus isn’t going anywhere.

Captain Longsight: It’s not that. It’s just I have amazing powers of being able to see long distances.

Zoey: (laughs) Of course you can. You have binoculars.

Captain Longsight: Oh these? (holds up binoculars) These don’t matter. I’m Captain Longsight. I was born with extraordinary powers of farsightedness.

Zoey: Soo … why do you carry binoculars?

Captain Longsight: Well … You wouldn’t understand.

Zoey: Try me.

Captain Longsight: They were a gift.

Zoey: Kinda like your gift of farsightedness?

Captain Longsight: N0! Like a birthday gift.

Zoey: Huh. So, Captain Longsight, do you fight crime with your superpowers?

Captain Longsight: (pulls cell phone out of pocket and smiles) I call the cops!

Zoey: Hooray. (changes seats)

 

Next stop: Tuesday, October 17th, 2:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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45. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Sunday, October 15th, 9:00pm
Jim and Katrina

 

Katrina: (puts her head on Jim’s shoulder) Did you hear that couple on the way out of the theatre?

Jim: (reaches for her hand) The ones who were arguing?

Katrina: Can you imagine? I mean, they were obviously married.

Jim: They seemed to know everything about one another, the way they were fighting.

Katrina: But they were just … ON each other …

Jim: … the whole time …

Katrina: … even before they came out of the theatre I think I could …

Jim: … hear them behind us bitching at each other.

Katrina: (squeezes his hand) We’re never going to fight.

Jim: Never.

 

Next stop: Monday, October 16th, 1:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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44. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Saturday, October 14th, 8:00pm
Edward (and The Darkness)

 

Edward sits at the window. The Darkness takes the seat beside him.

Edward: (sniffs and turns to The Darkness) Who the hell are you?

The Darkness: I am The Darkness

Edward: No you’re not. I am the darkness.

The Darkness: I am The Darkness.

Edward: No, I am the darkness.

The Darkness: I AM THE DARKNESS!!

Edward: (hisses, showing plastic fangs) I AM THE DARKNESS!!

Both get kicked off the bus.

 

Next stop: Sunday, October 15th, 9:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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#SoCS – Well then

An open prompt gives way for a totally random post, yes? Well then, here we go.

Yesterday I took the dog to the vet, because the day before I discovered he has fleas. It wasn’t just that – he needed his shots, too. That, among other things, took me away from the work I need to do. Editing work, that is.

Today, I decided to give said dog a bath. Ha! He had other ideas. Mostly, he was petrified. I have no idea what made it so easy last time I did it … Could it have been that he was half asleep and sick (he’d thrown up in his crate), and couldn’t care less last time? Maybe. So I have a dog that’s been drugged with flea and tick medication, who hasn’t yet been bathed. My question is have the fleas abandoned ship and are looking for more smells-like-home digs? Coz they ain’t swimmin’ in the sewer.

The kid had been looking forward to giving the pup a bath, so he wasn’t happy either. So we’ve just been hanging out all day, playing computer games and watching TV, with me trying to get a minute here and there to concentrate on my editing work. The dog seems happy.

Winston and Alex

It amazes me that I can get a picture out there to all of you even before the kid and the dog have moved an inch. Well done, technology.

This post is brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click the following link and check out all the other participating blogs, and join in yourself – it’s fun! https://lindaghill.com/2017/10/13/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-oct-1417/


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43. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Adult theme.

Friday, October 13th, 9:00pm
Drommen (and Candice)

 

Drommen sits at the window. Candice takes the seat beside him.

Drommen: (smiles) Hello.

Candice: Hi.

Drommen: Nice night out.

Candice: Yep.

Drommen: Mind if I masturbate?

Candice: Go for it.

Drommen: (raises eyebrows) Seriously?

Candice: Go right ahead. But don’t expect me to watch.

Drommen: (frowns) You won’t watch? Why not?

Candice: Okay, fine. But it’ll cost you.

Drommen: How much?

Candice: (regards him closely) You’re a good-looking guy. Fifty bucks.

Drommen: Are you a prostitute?

Candice: Nope.

Drommen: Then how can you charge me fifty bucks?

Candice: How can you ask me in the first place?

Drommen snorts and slouches in his seat, crossing his arms over his chest.

 

 

Next stop: Saturday, October 14th, 8:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS Oct. 14/17

It’s Friday again and time for your Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt. And it’s my turn again! Thanks so much to Dan and Joey for taking over for me for the last two weeks. Hope they treated you all well! Seems from here that they did a great job!! I’m actually no less busy. In fact I’m probably more busy than I was for the last couple of weeks. I won’t be around much, but I’ll do my best to look at as many of your SoCS posts as I can.  Here’s your prompt for this week:

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: “well.” Use it any way you like. Have fun!

After you’ve written your Saturday post tomorrow, please link it here at this week’s prompt page and check to make sure it’s here in the comments so others can find it and see your awesome Stream of Consciousness post. Anyone can join in!

To make your post more visible, use our SoCS badge! Just paste it in your Saturday post so people browsing the reader will immediately know your post is stream of consciousness and/or pin it as a widget to your site to show you’re a participant. Wear it with pride!!

Here are the rules:

1. Your post must be stream of consciousness writing, meaning no editing, (typos can be fixed) and minimal planning on what you’re going to write.

2. Your post can be as long or as short as you want it to be. One sentence – one thousand words. Fact, fiction, poetry – it doesn’t matter. Just let the words carry you along until you’re ready to stop.

3. There will be a prompt every week. I will post the prompt here on my blog on Friday, along with a reminder for you to join in. The prompt will be one random thing, but it will not be a subject. For instance, I will not say “Write about dogs”; the prompt will be more like, “Make your first sentence a question,” “Begin with the word ‘The’,” or simply a single word to get your started.

4. Ping back! It’s important, so that I and other people can come and read your post! For example, in your post you can write “This post is part of SoCS:” and then copy and paste the URL found in your address bar at the top of this post into yours.  Your link will show up in my comments for everyone to see. The most recent pingbacks will be found at the top. NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, such as Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

5. Read at least one other person’s blog who has linked back their post. Even better, read everyone’s! If you’re the first person to link back, you can check back later, or go to the previous week, by following my category, “Stream of Consciousness Saturday,” which you’ll find right below the “Like” button on my post.

6. Copy and paste the rules (if you’d like to) in your post. The more people who join in, the more new bloggers you’ll meet and the bigger your community will get!

7. As a suggestion, tag your post “SoCS” and/or “#SoCS” for more exposure and more views.

8. Have fun!


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Sally’s Cafe and Bookstore – Author Update – Linda G. Hill, Helen Jones, J.A. Owenby and Robbie and Michael Cheadle.

My books are featured on Sally’s Cafe and Bookstore today! Please check have a look – there are some great books there alongside mine. 😀 And don’t forget, until the end of October, all the proceeds from my books are going to hurricane relief, so if you haven’t picked them up yet, do so now and help me help those in need. ❤


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42. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Thursday, October 12th, 2:00pm
Hank and Bill

 

Hank: You know, Bob …

Bill: It’s Bill.

Hank: You know, Bill, there’s only just so much a man can take in this world. Now I know, ye gets your ups, and ye gets your downs, but ye can’t just let people walk all over you. Take Morty for example.

Bill: You mean Mike?

Hank: Morty, Mike, whatever. He just lost a whole lotta dough, and because what?

Hank looks at Bill. Bill opens his mouth to answer.

Hank: That’s right. Because the Man’s bringin’ him down. And you know who the Man is, right Bob?

Bill: The corporations?

Hank: (slaps Bill’s knee) You got ‘er, Bob! Those damned corporations. What we’ve gotta do, Bob, is break free! Break free, I tell ye. Go out on our own and make the millions o’ dollars that we’re entitled to.

Bill: So … what’s that got to do with me?

Hank: (regards him with pity in his eyes) You still don’t know, do ye Bob.

Bill shakes his head.

Hank: You’re gonna thank me, Bob. ‘Coz when I tell you what I’ve come to figure out over years of hard work and dedication … Let’s just say the Lord is shinin’ a light down on you today. (looks up) Oh! Here’s my stop. (pats Bill on the shoulder) Next time maybe. See ye later, Bob.

Hank gets off the bus.

 

 

Next stop: Friday, October 13th, 9:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.