Life in progress

Author Archives: Linda G. Hill


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#SoCS – Sofa, so good

Well, I was going to get loads of work done today. Work on my own novel, on the short story I’m writing to submit to the upcoming anthology by Transmundane Press, work on my editing website, and on the introduction I need to write for the St. Patrick’s Day anthology I edited. And what have I done so far? Your guess is as good as mine, but it wasn’t any of the above.

Thing is, I have been working all day. I must have, because I didn’t play a single computer game. I did do a final proofreading run-through on the St. Patty’s anthology. And my butt is square from sitting on the sofa all day, so I must have been on the laptop.

I do keep getting up to grab myself something from the fridge in hopes that when I get back, I’ll get something done. But it’s like there’s so much to do I’m not sure where to start, so I end up doing things like chatting on Facebook (I have to–it’s anthology work), or scrolling through the, like, 50 tabs I have open to see what’s new. Social media is my downfall. I admit it.

What else have I done today? I avoided wine. That’s gotta count for something, especially since Alex is on a rare weekend at his dad’s. I know, I say I “avoided” wine like it’s flying through the air, aiming at me. It’s not true. It’s actually tucked into a wine rack in the basement. All two dozen bottles … Mmm, wine.

BUT, I can still get some work done tonight, can’t I? It’s only … 11:06pm. Oh damn, the clocks go forward. It may as well be after midnight. Where does the time go?!? Alex will be home before I know it, and I won’t have any work done!! May as well give up and drink wine.

Oh look! There’s a bottle now! Better catch it.

This crazy post is brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Find the prompt post here and read all the contributing blogs! https://lindaghill.com/2018/03/09/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-march-10-18/


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191. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language

Saturday, March 10th, 9:00pm
Bella and Alice (and Lily)

 

Bella: God, I hope we don’t see him tonight.

Alice: Which one?

Bella: Pfft, either of them. How do I keep picking such losers?

Alice: You didn’t exactly pick Edward.

Bella: But Edgar I did. What an asshole.

Alice: Maybe he didn’t just stand you up.

Bella: What are you saying, Edward got him and (hooks two fingers on each hand) “made him a vampire”?

Lily: (pops up behind their seat) Good evening, ladies.

Both jump.

Alice: What the hell do you want?

Lily: I just thought you’d want to know there’s a maniac on the loose.

Bella: Besides you?

Lily: (hisses) Yes, besides me. She’s been chasing Edward and I around with a stake. She wants to kill us. But we’ll get her first. No need to fear, ladies.

Alice: (wipes forehead) Phew! I was shaking in my boots.

Lily: I can smell sarcasm.

Bella: Wait a minute. Wasn’t I your mortal enemy a few weeks back?

Lily: This one’s more of a threat. I’ll deal with you later. Myself.

Alice: (to Bella) I smell a shit stain. Do you smell a shit stain?

Bella: I thought it was garlic.

Lily hisses and heads for the door.

 

Next stop: Sunday, March 11th, 10:00am

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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190. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Friday, March 9th, 4:00pm
Sandi and Candice (and Dale)

 

Candice sits at the window, Sandi in the aisle seat. Dale takes the seat across the aisle.

Dale: (to Sandi) Hey, I haven’t seen you in a while.

Sandi: Hi.

Dale: What’s new?

Sandi: Not much. I got married a few months ago.

Dale: That’s great! Congratulations.

Sandi: What about you?

Dale: Oh you know. Wife left me.

Sandi: That’s too bad …

Dale: (waves hand) It happens. (holds up a leash) And then my dog.

Sandi: Left you?

Dale: Just got hit by a bus. Yesterday.

Sandi: Oh no!

Dale: Yeah. I’m taking the leash to give it to a friend.

Sandi: I’m so sorry for all your troubles.

Dale: Thanks. (looks up) This is my stop. Nice to see you again.

Sandi: You too.

Dale gets off the bus.

Candice: Who was that?

Sandi: I haven’t got a clue.

 

Next stop: Saturday, March 10th, 9:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS March 10/18

Today is Friday, and that means it’s time for your Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt. I’ve been totally swamped with work for the past couple of weeks and I realize I’m waaay behind on replying to many of your kind and wonderful comments. I promise to get caught up soon! In the meantime, here’s your prompt:

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “so far.” Use it any way you’d like. Enjoy!

After you’ve written your Saturday post tomorrow, please link it here at this week’s prompt page and check to make sure it’s here in the comments so others can find it and see your awesome Stream of Consciousness post. Anyone can join in!

To make your post more visible, use our new SoCS badge! Just paste it in your Saturday post so people browsing the reader will immediately know your post is stream of consciousness and/or pin it as a widget to your site to show you’re a participant. Wear it with pride!!

 

Here are the rules:

1. Your post must be stream of consciousness writing, meaning no editing, (typos can be fixed) and minimal planning on what you’re going to write.

2. Your post can be as long or as short as you want it to be. One sentence – one thousand words. Fact, fiction, poetry – it doesn’t matter. Just let the words carry you along until you’re ready to stop.

3. There will be a prompt every week. I will post the prompt here on my blog on Friday, along with a reminder for you to join in. The prompt will be one random thing, but it will not be a subject. For instance, I will not say “Write about dogs”; the prompt will be more like, “Make your first sentence a question,” “Begin with the word ‘The’,” or simply a single word to get your started.

4. Ping back! It’s important, so that I and other people can come and read your post! For example, in your post you can write “This post is part of SoCS:” and then copy and paste the URL found in your address bar at the top of this post into yours.  Your link will show up in my comments for everyone to see. The most recent pingbacks will be found at the top. NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, such as Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

5. Read at least one other person’s blog who has linked back their post. Even better, read everyone’s! If you’re the first person to link back, you can check back later, or go to the previous week, by following my category, “Stream of Consciousness Saturday,” which you’ll find right below the “Like” button on my post.

6. Copy and paste the rules (if you’d like to) in your post. The more people who join in, the more new bloggers you’ll meet and the bigger your community will get!

7. As a suggestion, tag your post “SoCS” and/or “#SoCS” for more exposure and more views.

8. Have fun!


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189. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language

Thursday, March 8th, 6:00pm
Melvin and Scott

 

Melvin: Holy shit, man, did you fart?

Scott: No …?

Melvin: No way man. It was you. I’d know your farts anywhere!

Scott: It wa’n’t me, man! It’s probably you!

Melvin: Wa’n’t me! I never stunk like that.

Scott: Bullshit, man. You fuckin’ reek like shit all the time.

Melvin: Nuh uh. Hey, maybe it was that old lady that walked by.

Scott: Prolly.

Melvin: Fuckin’ old ladies, man.

 

Next stop: Friday, March 9th, 4:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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188. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Wednesday, March 7th, 4:00pm
Terry and Shannon

 

Shannon: C’mon!

Terry: Nope, it’s a surprise.

Shannon: Can’t you at least tell me how much you won before we get there?

Terry: Nope.

Shannon: It must be a lot if we’ve gotta go all the way to the city.

Terry: Yep.

Shannon: So … you’ll be able to get your Internet back. Is it enough for a new computer?

Terry: Maybe.

Shannon: A vacation?

Terry: Maybe.

Shannon: A new house?

Terry: Nah.

Shannon: Oh c’mon, Ter. How much did you win?

Terry: Okay, fine. After I cash in my ticket, I’m getting a flight to visit a girl in London.

Shannon: A … girl?

Terry: (smiles) Yeah.

Shannon: Is she … a girlfriend?

Terry: I hope so.

Shannon stands up.

Terry: Where are you going?

Shannon: Back home.

Terry: W–w–why?

Shannon: If you can’t figure it out now, you never will.

 

Next stop: Thursday, March 8th, 6:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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One-Liner Wednesday – Misunderstandings

When your best friend spends five minutes explaining that it will take four people to put the cat on the back of the pickup truck and one person to bolt it down, and for five minutes you’re totally confused, only to figure out that he said “cap,” not “cat.”

If you would like to participate in this prompt, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a pingback from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our very cool badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

#1linerWeds badge by Dan Antion

 


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187. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language

Tuesday, March 6th, 7:00pm
Andrea (and Lily)

 

Andrea sits at the window. Lily slips quietly into the seat beside her.

Lily: (in her ear) Boo.

Andrea jumps.

Lily: You’re coming with me.

Andrea: What the fuck? No I’m not.

Lily: I have some business to take care of for my friend Edward, and you are coming …

Andrea: Wait, you know Eddie?

Lily: Oh yessss. (sniffs) What do you have in your bag?

Andrea: Oh this? It’s just, like, a steak and some hot cross …

Lily jumps up and runs for the door.

Andrea: …buns. (calls after Lily as she gets off the bus) Tell Eddie I love him!

 

Next stop: Wednesday, March 7th, 4:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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186. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Monday, March 5th, 6:00pm
Hillary (and Drommen)

 

Hillary sits at the window. Drommen takes the seat beside her.

Hillary: Hey.

Drommen: Hi there. Sorry I couldn’t make it the other night. My sister needed me.

Hillary: That’s okay.

Drommen: Are you busy tonight?

Hillary: (sits up straight) No.

Drommen: Still got that weed?

Hillary: (smiles) Yeah.

Drommen: I’d invite you back to my place, but we’d be alone. I’ll understand if you’re not comfortable with that.

Hillary: No! No that’s fine. Sooo … what does it do to you anyway? (bats eyelashes) You said you’d tell me when I’m nineteen …

Drommen: (grins) I could show you right now if you’d like.

A man steps up and taps Drommen on the shoulder.

Man: That’s enough, Sir. I’m going to have to ask you to come with us.

Drommen: … but I was just going to …

Man: Ma’am, is this the man you were telling us about?

Hillary: No! It’s another guy!

Man: You don’t have to be afraid to tell me. If this is him …

Hillary: It’s not! It’s another guy who kinda looks like him. The other guy has a mole!

Drommen: Look, if I could just show you what I was …

Man: There’s no need for that, Sir. If you’d just come peaceably.

Hillary: No! Don’t take him! He’s not the one!

Man: You’re not the only one to identify him. I’m sorry.

Hillary: Jake–

Drommen: It’s okay. You have other things to worry about. I’ll see you later.

The undercover cop leads Drommen to the door.

Hillary: (calling to Drommen) I’ll be waiting for you, Jake!

 

Next stop: Tuesday, March 6th, 7:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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185. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Sunday, March 4th, 1:00pm
Oliver (and Zoey)

 

Oliver sits at the window. Zoey takes the seat beside him.

Oliver: Forty-three, forty-four, forty-five.

The bus stops at a traffic light and Oliver stops counting.

Oliver: (to Zoey) I’m counting street lights.

Zoey: Oh.

Oliver: (as the bus starts again) Forty-six, forty-seven, forty-eight, forty-nine, fifty, fifty-one, fifty-two.

The bus stops to pick up a passenger and Oliver stops counting.

Zoey: Why are you counting street lights?

Oliver: Because I have to go back the other way when it’s dark, and I need to know when to get off.

Zoey: What if one of the street lights is out?

Oliver stares at her.

Zoey: You might not see it.

The bus starts up again.

Oliver: (panicked) Where was I? Quick!

Zoey: You counted fifty-two.

Oliver: Fifty-three, fifty-four, fifty-five …

 

Next stop: Monday, March 5th, 6:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.