Life in progress

Monthly Archives: October 2017


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Win a $25 Amazon gift card!

Have a blog? Want to win? All you have to do is sign up to share the cover reveal of the new anthology by Transmundane Press!

ON FIRE is the newest upcoming release from the same publisher who featured my story, Alice on the Analyst’s Couch, in the anthology called, AFTER THE HAPPILY EVER AFTER. I’m pleased to announce that I have a short story coming out in the new anthology also.

The sign up form to help with the cover reveal for the new book is here: CLICK! The reveal date is set for October 31st, and I can assure you, the cover for the ON FIRE anthology is awesome.

Enter for your chance to win the $25 Amazon gift card now!


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55. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Wednesday, October 25th, 7:00pm
Robert and Donald

 

Robert: So, the guy jumped you when you got off the bus. And it was completely unprovoked?

Donald: Totally. But he didn’t jump me as soon as I got off. He followed me for a while.

Robert: And when he jumped you he tried to …

Donald: … bite my neck. Yeah. (grabs the collar of his jacket and tries to look at it) I think I’ve still got sparkles on my collar.

Robert: (takes a close look) Hm … Wouldn’t want your wife to see that. She might think you’re having an affair with a vampire. (smiles widely)

Donald: (frowns) Yeah.

Robert: Did he leave any scars?

Donald: Only a few emotional ones. He kept telling me he’s been watching me sleep and calling me Bella.

Robert: Creepy. So, d’you want to go have a drink before we go back to my place? I can help you with those emotional scars.

Donald: I could use a drink.

Robert: And then …

Donald: Just don’t call me Bella.

 

Next stop: Thursday, October 26th, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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One-Liner Wednesday – Mercury?

I don’t know which planets are aligned or what’s in retrograde, but yesterday my coffee maker broke and I came home to find my laptop wanted me to install an operating system: if you don’t hear from me for a while, you’ll likely find me wandering the streets, Internetless and decaffeinated, looking for a fix.

Here’s some mushrooms I found. …no, I didn’t smoke them.

___________________________________________________________________________

If you would like to participate in this prompt, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a pingback from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our very cool badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

#1linerWeds badge by Dan Antion

 


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54. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language

Tuesday, October 24th, 9:00pm
Mr. Splindle and Horace

 

Mr. Splindle: It’s not really cheating.

Horace: Of-of c-c-course not, M-Mr. Sssssplindle

Mr. Splindle: We’re just going to have a nice quiet roast beef dinner and a few beers.

Horace: R-r-r-right.

Mr. Splindle: But you know, we don’t need to tell anyone about this at work.

Horace: Oh n-no! M-Mr. Splindle! And we w-won’t t-t-tell your w-w-w-wife either!

Mr. Splindle: Very good, Horace.

Horace: M-Mr. Sssplindle?

Mr. Splindle: Yes, Horace?

Horace: W-why did you w-w-want me to c-come with you?

Mr. Splindle: Why Horace, I asked you to come with me because you need to get out. To live a little! Have you ever been to a strip joint before?

Horace: N-no.

Mr. Splindle: Exactly. And you’ll have to get used to it, because when you become my assistant in this new enterprise, you’ll accompany me, with our clients, to peeler bars all across the county.

Horace: And w-we don’t t-t-t-t-tell anyo-one at work about this other e-enterp-prise either, r-r-r-right?

Mr. Splindle: That’s right, Horace. The only one we talk about that with is Hank.

Horace: M-Mr. Ssssplindle?

Mr. Splindle: (sighs) Yes, Horace?

Horace: About my w-w-wife. P-please don’t t-t-t-t-t-tell her, s-sir. Sh-she’d be awfully m-mad if sh-she f-f-f-f-f…

Mr. Splindle: … found out that you went to see strippers?

Horace: (nods) Mmhmm…

Mr. Splindle: (pats Horace’s knee) I understand completely. Most women are delicate flowers, Horace. We must protect them as best we can.

Horace: R-r-r…

Mr. Splindle: But you know there are some women who are more like weeds. They live between the cracks of society and deserve none of our esteem. They are the sort we are going to see tonight, Horace. Weeds. Objects just looking for men like us to pollinate them. (rubs hands together) Tonight I’d like to go pollinate a few of those weeds.

Horace: M-M-M-Mr. Ssssssp-p-plinnndle?

Mr. Splindle: YES, Horace?

Horace: Go f-f-fuck yourself, sir.

Horace gets off the bus.

 

 

Next stop: Wednesday, October 25th, 7:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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53. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Monday, October 23rd, 5:00pm
Donald (and Andrea)

 

Donald sits in the aisle seat. Andrea approaches.

Andrea: Do you mind?

Donald: Oh! No. (shifts over to window seat)

Andrea: (sitting down) Bus is pretty crowded.

Donald: Yes.

Andrea: You just noticed?

Donald: I beg your pardon?

Andrea: Just when the bus is crowded it makes sense to leave any open seats available, doesn’t it?

Donald: I supp …

Andrea: I mean, it’s just common sense. It’s rude to keep two seats all to yourself when there’s so many people on the bus.

Donald: I was waiting for someone.

Andrea: (turns her head to the left and right) Who?

Donald: A … another man.

Andrea: A particular “other man”? Or just “another man”? Are you, like, disappointed that a woman sat beside you?

Donald: (looks her up and down) Yes. And in particular, you.

Andrea is speechless, mouth hanging open.

Donald: You’re rude and distasteful. I’d even go as far as to say that it’s women like you who make men like me—straight men, that is—wonder what it is we see in women at all.

Andrea: Well, I never!

Donald: (raises voice) Then it’s about damned time.

Donald steps over her and stands in the aisle.

Donald: (yelling) And for the record, I was waiting for a particular man, not just another man. One who’s much more tasty– (shakes his head) tasteful than you!

Donald gets off the bus to a round of applause.

 

Next stop: Tuesday, October 24th, 8:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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52. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language

Sunday, October 22nd, 5:00pm
Jordan and Brandon

 

Brandon: What are you so worried about?

Jordan: (twirls a basketball in his hands) Marissa’s going to be in the stands tonight.

Brandon: Yeah, and?

Jordan: She already thinks I’m a clumsy idiot. What’ll happen if I trip over my own feet?

Brandon: You’re not going to …

Jordan looks at him and squints.

Brandon: Okay, so you might. But some girls like the underdog.

Jordan: (laughs wryly) Yeah, name one.

Brandon: (laughs) Your mom.

Jordan: Hey, my dad got a slam-dunk in the finals at school.

Brandon: And he broke his ankle when he landed.

Jordan: (nods) I wonder if Marissa’ll sign my cast…

Brandon: Don’t!

Jordan: (eyes his friend with a grin) Don’t think she’s worth it?

Brandon: (shakes his head) You’re a fuckin’ nutcase.

 

Next stop: Monday, October 23rd, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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51. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language

Saturday, October 21st, 7:00pm
Hillary (and Sean)(and Drommen)

 

Hillary sits at the window. Sean takes the seat beside her.

Sean: Hey.

Hillary stares out the window.

Sean: What the fuck’s up with you lately?

Hillary: Nothin’

Sean: You’re still waitin’ for that creepy guy?

Hillary: He’s not creepy. He’s nice.

Sean: What’s his name?

Hillary: Whatever. Jake. Whatever.

Sean: Yeah well, I heard he likes to expose himself on the bus.

Hillary: (turns to him) Who told you that?

Sean: (shrugs) Does it matter? The guy’s a creep.

Hillary rests her head against the window and looks out.

Sean: What do you say we just go get fucked up?

Hillary: Not interested.

Sean: Suit yourself. But don’t go whinin’ to me if he asks … Hey, isn’t that him? (points at Drommen, boarding the bus)

Hillary: (sits up straight) Yeah.

Sean: (mockingly) Should I leave the two of you alone? Maybe he’ll show you his wiener.

Hillary: Maybe you’re a wiener.

Drommen, carrying a grocery bag, walks up the aisle and stops in front of Sean.

Drommen: (to Hillary) Hi, Jessica.

Sean: (looks up at Drommen) Hey, asshole.

Drommen holding his hands behind his back, leans down and says something in Sean’s ear. Sean gets up and moves to the rear of the bus, and Drommen takes his seat.

Hillary: What did you say to him?

Drommen: (holds open his bag for her to look inside) I just offered him a sausage.

 

Next stop: Sunday, October 22nd, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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#SoCS – Allspice

Thyme and time again, every week, it seems, I post a prompt with a bit of an idea in my head of what I’m going to write, but when I finally sit down, it’s something else. This week, I’m writing rather gingerly (in a way), because I’m trying to do it around all the other things I should be doing for tomorrow’s birthday party dinner.

I invited friends and family to cumin join us, and have already bought cards for myself and my mother to give to Alex (a cardamom), but I still have to go buy a few presents. And wrap them. Which of course will make them all parsley. (That made me laugh.)

Although he doesn’t eat (my son is tube-fed), Alex likes to choose what everyone else wants, and if it’s something that tastes good to him, he’ll have some. For tomorrow, he’s requested “big chicken,” which means a whole barbecued chicken from the grocery store. And a Spiderman cake for dessert, which I really should order soon. Mustardiness rule my life all the time? I need to follow my own sage advice: don’t procrastinate! I need to sumac myself upside the head with it once in a while.

Whatever happens, I’m sure tomorrow’s dinner will be peppered with love, free of a salt (ouch, that was a stretch), and anise day all around. In fact, it may just be a macing. And dinner itself is sure to be savory.

Fall is when it gets chili outside.

This post is brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click the link and join in! https://lindaghill.com/2017/10/20/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-oct-2117/


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The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS Oct. 21/17

It’s Friday today, and yes, I know. I’m late. But I’m here now, and that means it’s time now for your Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt. It’s been another busy week here in the Hill household. I have another birthday coming up for one of my kids, just to add to the fun. Never a dull moment. Here’s your prompt:

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “season.” Use the word “season,” add a suffix to it, or write about one. Bonus points if the first and last word of your post is a season or a seasoning. Extra bonus points if you have pictures. Enjoy!

After you’ve written your Saturday post tomorrow, please link it here at this week’s prompt page and check to make sure it’s here in the comments so others can find it and see your awesome Stream of Consciousness post. Anyone can join in!

To make your post more visible, use our new SoCS badge! Just paste it in your Saturday post so people browsing the reader will immediately know your post is stream of consciousness and/or pin it as a widget to your site to show you’re a participant. Wear it with pride!!

 

Here are the rules:

1. Your post must be stream of consciousness writing, meaning no editing, (typos can be fixed) and minimal planning on what you’re going to write.

2. Your post can be as long or as short as you want it to be. One sentence – one thousand words. Fact, fiction, poetry – it doesn’t matter. Just let the words carry you along until you’re ready to stop.

3. There will be a prompt every week. I will post the prompt here on my blog on Friday, along with a reminder for you to join in. The prompt will be one random thing, but it will not be a subject. For instance, I will not say “Write about dogs”; the prompt will be more like, “Make your first sentence a question,” “Begin with the word ‘The’,” or simply a single word to get your started.

4. Ping back! It’s important, so that I and other people can come and read your post! For example, in your post you can write “This post is part of SoCS:” and then copy and paste the URL found in your address bar at the top of this post into yours.  Your link will show up in my comments for everyone to see. The most recent pingbacks will be found at the top. NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, such as Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

5. Read at least one other person’s blog who has linked back their post. Even better, read everyone’s! If you’re the first person to link back, you can check back later, or go to the previous week, by following my category, “Stream of Consciousness Saturday,” which you’ll find right below the “Like” button on my post.

6. Copy and paste the rules (if you’d like to) in your post. The more people who join in, the more new bloggers you’ll meet and the bigger your community will get!

7. As a suggestion, tag your post “SoCS” and/or “#SoCS” for more exposure and more views.

8. Have fun!


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50. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Friday, October 20th, 2:00pm
Fiona (and Felix)

 

Fiona sits at the window. Felix takes the seat behind her.

Fiona: (blows nose) Oh, that cold out there sure makes the nose run.

Felix: (nods and turns his head part-way around) Mmm…

Fiona: I was talkin’ to a lady out at the bus stop. She wasn’t even wearing a coat!

Felix pulls a bottle of hand sanitizer out of his pocket and cleans his hands.

Fiona: I s’pose there’s people like that who just don’t feel the cold. Wonder that they don’t catch something though.

Felix: (turns part-way around) It is.

Fiona: Hey, are you one of them COD people or whatever it is?

Felix: OCD. Like Howie Mandel.

Fiona: You know, you can catch a cold just by sitting ten feet away from someone? We’re sitting closer then that. (smiles)

Felix gets off the bus.

 

Next stop: Saturday, October 21st, 7:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.