Life in progress

Monthly Archives: April 2018


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Ugly Very Smoke

My illegal following of the A to Z Challenge went off the rails yesterday when I missed the letter “U.” May as well handcuff me and drag me off to blogger jail, because I’m back with “U” and “V” combined today. And I’m a bit of a grumpy camper, so make sure those cuffs are good and tight.

And could we PLEEAASE make blogger jail my room? Where my bed is? ‘Coz I’m sleep-deprived.

You see, last night at (hang on, what does it say on my Fitbit?) 1:29am, my eldest son came into my room and told me I had to get up. Confused, I dragged myself down the stairs trying to make sense of why he was saying he wanted to call 911. Turns out he’d preheated the oven not realizing that he’d spilled butter in it the last time he used it.

There was smoke. There was so much smoke that even with three windows and a door open in the kitchen, my eyes were still watering and my throat still hurt. The oven was off but smoke still billowed out of the vent while it cooled down.

According to my trusty Fitbit, I didn’t get back to bed until 2:11. Where I lay and contemplated the fact that my son woke me up, not my fire alarm.

My best friend, John, came over this morning and changed the batteries in the three (count ’em–THREE) alarms that didn’t work last night, but I haven’t started up the oven to check and see if they’re any better at detecting smoke …

My throat hasn’t recovered yet.

I should probably do that tomorrow. When I HOPE the word of the day won’t be “water.”


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237. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Wednesday, April 25th, 5:00pm
April and June

 

April: I’m almost finished.

June: (looks over at April’s lap) I’m not even close to starting yet. Hey, have you seen May lately?

April: I think she’s due to show up next week sometime.

June: (gazes out the window) EWWW!!!

April: (leans across to see what she’s looking at) What did you see?

June: Something squashed on the road. I think it might have been a groundhog.

April: (nods) I heard there was a March against them last month.

 

Next stop: Thursday, April 26th, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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One-Liner Wednesday – Difficult Concepts

My darling youngest son came home from school on Friday and told me that Monday, his class would be outside planting flowers. He said they needed to wear “old clothes” because they’d be getting dirty. When I said, okay, that’s fine, he asked me when we’d be going to the mall to buy some “old clothes.”

Yeah. Some things don’t seem to translate from sign language very well. Or maybe he just didn’t get it.

If you would like to participate in this prompt, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a pingback from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our very cool badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

#1linerWeds badge by Dan Antion

 

 


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236. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language

Tuesday, April 24th, 6:00pm
Drommen (and Andrea)

 

Drommen sits at the window. Andrea takes the seat beside him.

Drommen: Hey, how are you?

Andrea: Oh, you know.

Drommen: Guy trouble?

Andrea: Yeah, well. Eddie, like, caught up with me the other day? Said he’s got a new job.

Drommen: Really?

Andrea: (nods) He gave me this, like, sob story about not having enough money to live on. He was trying to convince me to give him a loan.

Drommen: And you said no of course.

Andrea: (sighs) Yeah.

Drommen: Then why so fed up?

Andrea: Well, you know how I, like, pinned him to a tree a couple of weeks ago?

Drommen: (laughs) That was a good one.

Andrea: Turns out he lost his teeth. He talked me into getting him a new pair. Figured it was the least I could do.

Drommen: So fang-boy’s back in business then.

Andrea: Apparently he needed them for his new job, or some such bullshit.

Drommen: So he can suck the life out of everyone’s enjoyment in the workplace?

Andrea: Probably.

 

Next stop: Wednesday, April 25th, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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Twenty to Twelve

It’s twenty to twelve on “T” day (not that I’m keeping track or anything), and I’m tired. Been looking at the screen most of the day, trying to get my book edited.

But now all I can think about is Toronto. The city where I was born. The city where ten people died today after getting run over by a truck on the sidewalk. Those poor innocent people.

It’s horrifying to know it can happen anywhere, at any time. It’s horrifying that so many of us are become desensitized to it. It’s horrifying that it’s not as horrifying as it used to be, even a couple of years ago, when multiple people died by a senseless, violent act.

Is this what we’re coming to? Or is it what we, as a species, always were?

So many questions for such a late hour. I’m at a loss.


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235. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Monday, April 23rd, 5:00pm
Brandon and Jordan

 

Jordan: How’s the new girl working out?

Brandon: Pretty good. She caught on quick.

Jordan: Hey man, it’s great you got the manager’s job.

Brandon: Thanks. You should come by sometime. Got a lot of good looking women working there.

Jordan: Any of them single?

Brandon: Only the ones I’m not dating.

Jordan: You can do that? Date people you work with?

Brandon: Long as I don’t get caught, man.

 

Next stop: Tuesday, April 24th, 6:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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The Escapist Coloring Club – mid-month April 2018

Okay, I’m way off the middle of the month, but I still want to remind everyone that there’s still time to link your colouring project to the monthly prompt. You can find it here. The comments in this post are turned off to ensure all pingbacks go to the original post.

We only have one entrant in the comment section this month so far. If you’ve completed a project but haven’t added your link, please do it soon. Our one and only colouring project this month comes from Colline. You can find her post here: https://collinesblog.com/2018/04/12/monster-colouring/

Colouring is fun and relaxing. I hope you’ll join us!


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234. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Sunday, April 22nd, 1:00pm
Mona and Sparky

 

Mona: (while texting) I’m so ugly.

Sparky: Who told you that?

Mona: I did. (lifts cell phone) And Martina agrees with me.

Sparky: Martina can go suck eggs.

Mona: You think so?

Sparky: Yeah. You’re beautiful. What does she know?

Mona: I’ll tell her. (starts texting)

Sparky: (after a while) What did she say?

Mona: (reading) “I’m not a mongoose.” What does that even mean?

Sparky: I don’t …

Mona: Wait! There’s another text. (reading) “And Sparky’s ugly too.”

Sparky: See? I told you she don’t know nothing.

 

Next stop: Monday, April 23rd, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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#SoCS – It Spoke of Life

It’s funny how life finds a way. Though it’s rarely spoken of, we instinctively seek out the things that keep us alive. The sun, for one.

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I found these when I went outside this morning. The same flowers that the other day, before the ice storm, were in such lovely bloom. Their warmth is apparent from the way they seem to have melted their way through the snow.

I went for a walk today along my usual path by the water. I always go alone, and today was no exception. But I just happened to be on the phone with one of my kids when I got to this gazebo, seen in an old picture:

It’s often used for wedding pictures–I see photographers there with couples doing practice shots on a regular basis, and I’ve even seen a wedding party there once. What I realized today when I was on the phone is that it looks much more romantic than it literally sounds.

Today, for the first time in the years I’ve been going there, I spoke while I was standing under the roof. It’s made of metal. My voice echoed tinnily (is that a word?)–my voice echoed off the metal roof making me sound like I was speaking somehow through a transistor radio. I hurried out of there before I said much. I seemed very loud to my own ears.

It occurs to me that that’s an illustration of how our words can ruin an experience.

Sometimes it’s best to just stay silent, and take in the beauty: let it speak for itself.

This introspective post is brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click the following link to find all the participating posts in the comments and see how you can join in! https://lindaghill.com/2018/04/20/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-april-21-18/


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233. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Saturday, April 21st, 9:00pm
Edward and Lily

 

Edward: It was awful!

Lily: There there. Who can I get rid of for you? Is it that new boss of yours?

Edward: No! I can’t believe he meant for it to happen. All those … women! And they were dancing with poles … Some of them were upside down!

Lily: So you want me to go there and get rid of the women for you?

Edward: (touches her hand) No. It’s too dangerous. Women are dangerous. Real human women that is. Not you.

Lily: Come home with me then, Edward darling. I’ll look after you.

Edward: You will?

Lily: For you? I’ll even open my best red.

Edward: You will?

Lily: Of course. I’ve had him chained up in my basement for months.

 

Next stop: Sunday, April 22nd, 1:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.